Glory over Everything: Beyond The Kitchen House(100)

“Good,” he said. “I’m sure glad to hear there’s no baby comin’ now.”

I was on edge with the nearby hunters and would have pushed on through the swamp, but Sukey lay back with a sigh. Pan did the same. I stayed sitting up, too uneasy to rest. I looked about the dark cave and worried what would come next. We had the patrollers pursuing us, and though it was not likely they would come this deep into the swamp, there was the danger of escaped slaves—men desperate enough to live in this ungodly habitat who did not welcome intruders.

Finally, I lay back to close my eyes, but moments later, I was swatting frantically at a gigantic spider that had crawled onto my face. I sat up, shuddering, squinting in the dark to see where it had gone. Pan and Sukey were resting, but I was overcome with the hopelessness of what lay ahead.

Lost in this overgrown quagmire, we had to find the cross-ditch that would eventually lead us over to the main canal. Assuming we could find it, we had to follow that cross-ditch on foot, traveling the ten miles of rough towpath only at night, since barges would be coming through by day, no doubt some with patrollers eager for the large bounty.

Then there was the danger of the animals. This huge swamp was known to shelter not only bear, of which we had evidence, but also other predatory animals such as wolves, panthers, and bobcats. Alligators lived here as well, but it was the snakes I feared the most.

I had not yet told Sukey that on our crawl for the swamp, I had lost our supply of bread and cheese. What, I wondered, would we do for food? Fortunately, the tea-colored water surrounding us was drinkable, and though we all had an earlier fill of it, I now slipped out for more.

A wide shaft of light traveled down the incredible height of the trees. I might have seen a certain beauty in it had I not been so anxious. I went to the water’s edge and knelt on a mass of ferns, there to cup my hands and slurp up the brown water. Then, as I splashed my face, Sukey quietly joined me. She hunched down to drink, but when she leaned over, she gave a startled yelp. I sprang up, thinking she had seen something I had not.

She avoided looking at me as she awkwardly rose to her feet and I went cold when her hands gripped her swollen abdomen. Was it possible that she was ready to give birth?

Pan suddenly emerged from the cave. “Hey, Mr. Burton! You give me a scare,” he said, rushing to my side. “I woke up and thought you went without me!”

His eyes followed Sukey walking heavily back toward the cave. She stopped at a nearby tree and broke off a small branch—about a foot long and one to two inches in diameter—and took it with her as she crawled into the cave.

Why did she want that stick? Did she mean to kill the child? I had heard of Negroes doing things like that. Bile rose in me. What kind of mother would do that? I must leave now! Without her! I sat arguing with myself while Pan squatted beside me, studying my face. “You think she gonna have that baby?” he asked. “Mr. Burton! What we gonna do with a baby?”

I shook my head in response while trying to think clearly. From inside the cave came a sharp cry of pain. “Stay here,” I said to Pan, then went back into the cave. Sukey met me with a loud moan.

“Quiet! You must be quiet!” I stared at her as my eyes adjusted to the dark.

She clapped her hands over her mouth, but when she tried to shift again, a low animal sound escaped from under her hand. She looked at me in apology.

I looked away, but she waved me forward and then tapped at my clenched fist. Though dreading the message, I gave her access. “Baby coming,” she wrote.

I pulled back my hand and rubbed the palm with my thumb as though to erase the message. This was impossible! We couldn’t journey out with a newborn. We both knew it.

Without warning, her body stiffened. Dear God! I thought. She is having the child! I rubbed my face with my hands. What to do! I must leave before they hear her and find us! Yes—yes! I would take Pan and leave!

As though she read my thoughts, Sukey grabbed at my hand, and her torn fingernails scratched into my palm, “Take baby.” I stared at her hand as she wrote it again. “Take baby.”

What did she mean? Take Pan? But no, she had said “baby.” Did she actually expect me, a man who knew nothing about childbirth, to somehow deliver a child and then flee with it? The idea was insane. I wouldn’t sacrifice my life like this! I scuttled to the opening and glanced back at her beseeching eyes.

When Sukey stiffened again and gave a muffled cry, I leaped from the cave.





CHAPTER FORTY


1830


Sukey


THE CHILD’S BEEN coming since early today, and sure enough, just like I was afraid, Jamie goes running off without me. From the start, I see he don’t want nothing to do with me, ’cause I see him as colored and he knows, being with me, he’s pegged for a nigra.

When Jamie goes, it’s easy to decide. Without him, I got no hope. Before the animals get us, I gon’ let the baby die. I won’t look at it. I won’t help it breathe. The reason for me to run was to get this one free. But I can’t make it out of this place by myself.

My stomach turns hard again and the pains burn. Push, push . . . I try hard not to make a sound. Don’t want no animals showing up. I feel around me for the stick. I put it in my mouth and bite down. I’ll get this child out, and then we both can die in peace. I seen worse ways to die.

All a sudden the boy shows up. “I’m here, Sukey. I can help.” He grabs hold a my hand and gives me his palm. “Tell me what to do,” Pan says.