Girl in Ice(36)

“Just a bunch of dead lemmings?”

Wyatt swirled his can of beer, knocked the rest of it back. “I think I need to be working with larger mammalian subjects. You up for it?”

Raj scoffed, got up and poured himself some wine, Nora her tea, and sat back down next to her. “You’re wasting your time, man.”

“I’m wrong until I’m right.”

“With all due respect, Wyatt, this is crackpot science. There’s no methodology. You know it, and I know it.”

Wyatt crushed the beer can in his hand and tossed it in the trash. “Tell you what I know. Odin exists. Three times in a year he’s thawed alive.”

“Where’d you find him?”

“In the Dome. What difference does it make? Sigrid’s alive. And people all over the world are freezing to death in these ice winds. Five, six, a dozen people at a time, wiped out. And it’s going to get a lot worse. You think knowing what kept Sigrid from dying won’t help the human race?”

“So that’s what you’re doing?”

“Beats making kelp sandwich bags.”

Sigrid turned to Raj from her perch on Wyatt’s desk, a smile dimpling her cheeks. She said, “Seal Man.”

“That’s me, darling,” Raj said to Sigrid with pride. “Seal Man.” He hopped to his feet and went to her as if to give her a hug—it looked like he could have used one—but she withdrew, smile fading, so he only stood awkwardly close to her and took the time to have a good look at her. “You know, she looks a little peaked. She okay, you think? Can we at least try to give her a bath?”

“She won’t do it,” I said. “We heat up the water, but she won’t go near it.”

“So, Raj, you two seem tight,” Wyatt said. “She say anything else to you besides ‘Seal Man’?”

“Oh, for sure. We chat all day long, don’t we, Sigrid? She’s told Seal Man all her secrets, every last one of them.”

“I see.” Wyatt got up, brushing past Raj on his way to the kitchen, where he extracted another beer from the fridge. “Gotta say, she’s not looking a hundred percent to me. You know what I’d like to do? Get a blood sample from her.”

Sigrid drew her circles in the condensation, one after the other in neat rows, before rubbing them away, the wailing wind the only sound in the room.

I thought, It’s impossible to escape this place, no matter how bad this gets….

“Wyatt, no, seriously?” I sat forward, clutching the arm of the couch.

“Bad idea,” Raj said.

“Why would you do that?” Nora pushed herself up to one elbow.

I got to my feet. “Wyatt, come on. You can’t do that to her. You’re just going to ruin any progress I’ve made.”

“Any progress you’ve made?” Wyatt snorted.

I boiled inside but said nothing.

Wyatt kept his eyes on me, said, “Hey, Jeanne, got a second?”

Jeanne set aside some bread dough she’d been working and dutifully came into the living room.

“So, guys, it’s simple. I need a blood sample. Raj is right, look at her. Something’s up with her.”

Sigrid, reading the room, dropped down off Wyatt’s desk and wandered over to me, her sweater fanning out on the rug behind her.

“Nora?” Wyatt said. “Help me out?”

She turned to Raj. “Maybe it is a good idea. Poor kid. She can’t tell us how she’s feeling.”

Raj put his hands on his narrow hips and paced. “I can’t be a part of this. She won’t understand.”

Wyatt rooted around in a drawer, pulled out a box with a red cross on it. “It’ll just take a second. She may need antibiotics. Val, come on, help us out. Try to do… whatever you do. Explain it to her somehow.”

All eyes drilled into me.

My knees went wobbly as weakness flooded me; I leaned on the back of the couch. In my effort to conserve my stash, I’d gone a few days without a pill. I rued that decision as heat flashed up my neck and shoulders. It was as if I was standing at the edge of the crevasse, its blue jaws open, beckoning me down.

“Can you just give me a minute?”

“Of course,” Raj said.

“You stay with Seal Man and Nora,” I said to Sigrid. “I’ll be right back.”

I ran to the bathroom and threw up. The walls rippled and throbbed as they closed in. I just need a pill, I thought, then I’ll be able to deal with this.

I staggered down the hall toward my bedroom, craving the chemical balm on my nerves even as I chided myself for needing it.

I jerked open my sock drawer, venturing with a trembling hand beneath the bright knots of cotton and wool to the back right corner. Anticipated the comforting heft of the plastic pill bottle in my hand, the reassuring rattle of the dozen or so pills I knew were left.

Nothing.

Only socks.

Had I moved the bottle to the other side by accident? My heart did its fight-or-flight dance. I checked the left side. Just cheap old pegboard, rough with splinters.

I wrenched out the drawer and dumped the contents onto my bed. Just socks, a couple of pairs of underwear, a scarf. A safety pin.

Where the fuck are my pills?

I emptied each drawer on the bed. Nothing. Rummaged through every pocket of my pants and sweaters, all the while knowing good and goddamned well I would have never been so cavalier with them. Someone had taken them. Or am I just losing my mind? I sat on my piles of clothes on my saggy bed, quaking as I tried to keep my breathing under control. Gripping my thighs with my hands, I stared at my broken-open skin, rife with pain no creams or potions could ease.