Girl Gone Viral (Modern Love #2)(94)

Katrina gazed at the sprawling city in front of them, the sun setting over the ocean in the distance. She’d bought this house partially for the privacy, but mostly for the view. “I think I have to be hopeful because of everything I’ve been through. That doesn’t mean I’m not angry. But if I didn’t have hope or believe in others, what’s the point?” She shook her head. “Humans aren’t meant to be indefinitely bent into pretzels. We bend until we snap, and then we put ourselves back together and hold steady until someone or something bends us again. Every part of that process requires strength, and hope, I think.” Even the breaking. Even if you need help putting yourself back together.

Rhiannon nodded. “I get it. Everything may not be perfect all the time, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hope for more.”

“Happiness is a radical act.”

“What?”

Katrina’s smile was self-conscious. “I saw it on this sign in French Coast and it kinda spoke to me. I was raised to make sure everyone else was happy. So now, when I’m truly happy, it feels . . . radical. To be happy, or even to have the possibility of happiness, when the world tells you you shouldn’t, it’s downright subversive.”

Rhi’s eyes shone. “Like you’re showing everyone who made you unhappy.”

Katrina nodded.

“I used to tell myself success was the best revenge. But I like your saying better.”

“Whatever works.”

Rhiannon took her wineglass, set it on the table, and then hugged Katrina tight. “Cinnamon roll. Too good, too pure for this world,” she whispered against Katrina’s hair. “I’ll protect you with my life.”

Katrina laughed. “Hopefully it’ll never come to that.”

Jia came back out to the patio and handed them each a water bottle. “Drink this, or you’ll be miserable tomorrow. Now, who did we drunk-text while I was gone?”

“No one. Samson had to go to bed early.” Rhiannon gave Katrina a questioning look.

She rolled her eyes. “Jas is with his sick grandpa, guys!”

“Have you heard from him at all?” Rhiannon asked.

“He texted me when he got to Yuba City.”

Jia wrinkled her nose. “That’s it?”

“Yes.” Katrina took a sip of her water. “What more do you want?”

“I dunno, your smooching this morning looked way more fiery than hey plane landed texts.”

“Like I said, his grandfather’s sick.”

“He’s not dead, right?”

“Jia,” Rhiannon snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. What I mean is, you could still text him a supportive emoji. A kissy face or a hug.”

Rhiannon stuck her tongue in her cheek. “Or the eggplant.”

“I’m definitely not doing that last one.”

“What’s up with you guys? You haven’t figured stuff out yet?” Rhiannon asked.

“No.” Katrina made a frustrated noise. “He doesn’t say anything. That’s the problem. I know him and love him, but I can’t read his mind.”

Rhiannon’s lips pursed in a soundless whistle. “Play back what you just said.”

Katrina pressed her fingers to her temple. She’d said what she said, and she meant it. “I know. I do love him. I think I have for a long time.”

“Omg. You should ask him how he feels,” Jia whispered, clutching her hands to her chest.

Rhiannon shook her head. “No, she shouldn’t have to badger him about how he feels. He should be able to talk about his feelings.”

“Even if he does, I’m worried he won’t be telling me the truth. What if he says he loves me because it’s what I want to hear?” She shook her head. “You guys, he is so damn devoted. It all feels so one-sided, like he’s seeing to my every need, and I can’t do the same for him.”

There was silence for a minute. Rhiannon put her water bottle down. “So let me get this straight: you, a heterosexual woman, in our current modern dating hellscape, are complaining that the man you are seeing is . . . too selfless.”

“I love you very much, Katrina,” Jia remarked. “But please don’t be offended if I kind of hate you right now.”

“Samson is almost a saint, but I’m with you, Jia.” Rhiannon made a disgusted noise.

Katrina choked out a laugh. “Okay, well. It sounds silly when you say it like that.”

“Boy, does it.” Rhiannon squinted at her. “Look, I’m still not entirely sure that Samson’s as good as he seems. Like, I’m finally pretty sure he’s not being nice to me so he can kill me, but who can tell? That’s the whole leap-of-faith you kept pushing me to take.”

Katrina’s smile was faint. “I have new respect for the leap I was telling you to make.”

“You have no idea how terrifying it is.” Rhiannon paused. “Isn’t it entirely possible that Jas is so devoted to you because he loves you too?”

She made a face. “I don’t know.”

Rhiannon gestured between them. “I mean, we love you, and we are very cool people. He would be in excellent company.”

“Ha. Right.”

The chair they sat on rocked a little as Jia perched on the arm. Her slender hand came to rest on Katrina’s shoulder. “How long has Jas been with you?”