Girl Gone Viral (Modern Love #2)(79)

She rubbed his knee, and he leaned back against the pillows. It was odd to have someone petting him like this, but the soothing massage calmed him.

“One guy, McGuire, he was best friends with one of the men who was killed. He and another soldier were supposed to take the suspect back to the village, but he stopped on the way.”

“Oh no.”

“Yeah.” Jas squeezed his eyes shut, as tight as he could manage. He couldn’t block out the memory, though. “I don’t know if he planned the whole thing, or if it was a spur of the moment terrible idea. The sergeant with him, Lorne, she slipped away and came and got me. We raced back. We found the translator terrified and huddled away from the scene, the suspect naked and tied up, with McGuire screaming questions at him. The man had been hurt badly.” It was getting harder to remain emotionless.

“Did he kill the suspect?”

“He tried to. The guy went to stand up, and McGuire shot at him. Lorne and I rushed him, and he shot me twice in the struggle.”

Katrina’s touch on his knee turned soothing. “This is what you had to testify to at the trial?”

“Court martial. Yes. We all did.” His eye twitched, recalling the angry glares of McGuire’s parents and supporters. They’d called him and Lorne the traitors, held firm in their belief that their son had been doing his job the best he could.

Bullshit. Jas had seen the aggression and rage in McGuire’s face, up close. All he’d cared about was exacting vengeance on anyone he could.

“Tell me he was convicted.”

“Twenty-five years.”

She sighed. “Good.”

“He served five before he was paroled.”

Her lips curved down. “Oh.”

He ran his tongue over his teeth. “Looks like he’s probably going to be pardoned.”

She inhaled. “Oh dear.”

“Yeah.”

“What can you do?” She came to her knees.

“Nothing.”

“But . . . but that’s not fair.”

It wasn’t. He shrugged, her outrage making him feel a little better. “That’s how it is.”

“He tried to kill a defenseless, unarmed man. It’s only because of your intervention that he didn’t succeed. And he tried to kill you! And . . . nothing happens?”

“Right.”

“Is your name going to be in the press or anything?”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t lead back to you.”

Katrina made an annoyed sound. “That’s not why I’m asking. I’m asking for your sake.”

“It’s possible.” Jas shrugged. “There’s so much going on in the news now, that I imagine this will be a blip on most people’s radars.”

“How can you be so calm?” She clutched her hands to her chest. “Aren’t you angry?”

“Of course.” He hesitated, unsure of how to explain. “Anger can be a useful emotion, but if I’d stayed angry when I came back, I would never have been able to move forward. So I buried the anger down.”

“Sounds like you buried everything down.”

Jas thought of the love he had for Katrina. “It’s not like I don’t feel things.”

“You just don’t talk about most of those feelings,” she noted.

“That’s not—” He paused. “That may be true. I’ve never been forthcoming, but now I’m pretty far out of the habit of confiding in anyone.”

“I’d like to know when things make you happy, or sad. I want to know when you’re hurting, even if that means I can’t get something I want. Like coming here? I had no idea it would hurt you. You should have told me.”

He caught her fluttering hands and gave them a squeeze. “I came here because I wanted to, too. I missed this place, and since I’d gotten news of the pardon, all I’d wanted was to run away. I was glad to have an excuse to come here. Honestly.” Every word he spoke came from his heart. He would never have thought to come stay here for days had it not been for Katrina. This trip had nourished him, like her food nourished his body, first thing when he woke up.

Her eyes were big and dark. The strap of her camisole had slipped down. He liked that little dip where her shoulder met her neck. It was such a tender, vulnerable spot.

“How do I know when you genuinely want something, though, if you don’t talk to me?”

“I promise, I’ll try to talk more,” he said, as soothingly as possible. He’d say anything to get that worry off her face.

Her frown relaxed. She scooted closer to him. “Well, I’m glad you got something out of fleeing here with me.”

“I got a lot out of it. All alone with a girl I . . . like.” He’d almost slipped. Used the other l-word. I love you. But he couldn’t say that. He opened his mouth, then closed it, tongue-tied and out of his depth, as he often was around her.

She nudged Doodle. “Puppy, can you leave us alone for a bit?”

The dog was brilliant, easily a ten-thousand-dollar dog. Doodle hopped right off the bed at Katrina’s sweet command and padded to the door. If Doodle could have, Jas imagined she would have shut it behind her.

Katrina walked up the bed on her knees and straddled him, so they were face-to-face. “I like you too. I’m sorry all of these terrible things happened to you.”