Gentleman Sinner(71)

‘I didn’t sleep.’ He sits back, one hand resting lightly on the edge of the table.

‘At all?’

‘At all,’ he confirms, and we fall silent again, the tension building between us. There’s obviously lots both of us want to say, but neither he nor I seems willing to lead.

So I natter pointlessly some more, just to fill the uncomfortable silence. ‘You must be tired.’

‘I was thinking,’ he says, ignoring my statement.

I nibble at the inside of my mouth as Theo regards me closely. ‘Do I want to know what about?’ I ask, my apprehension obvious.

He smiles a little, turning his hand over on the table. Naturally, I place mine in his, and he brings my knuckles to his mouth and rests his lips there. ‘I’ve been thinking about how I can make it up to you.’

‘By getting me my job back,’ I say, though my statement is lacking the curtness I intended. Probably a result of my tiredness and rotten hangover. ‘But I can’t see that happening after you caused anarchy. The police were already involved. Now I imagine the NHS will be pressing charges, as well as Sugden.’

He rests his elbows on the table, now holding my hand in both of his. ‘There are many things I can influence, Izzy.’

My mind goes off on a tangent, trying to decipher what he means by influence. It takes only a few seconds of considering, even with a fuzzy head. I reflect back to last night – to Judy telling me that Theo would fix things. Theo was with Andy, Judy’s husband. He works for the police. He knew about my predicament, and I’m guessing he knows every other detail of the whole horrid situation. The light bulb in my head pings on. ‘The police won’t be contacting me for a statement, will they?’

He keeps me in place with serious eyes, shaking his head a little.

So I go on, everything clear. ‘There will be no charges pressed against you, either, will there? Not by Sugden, Susan, or the hospital security staff.’

Theo shakes his head again.

I flex my fingers until he releases my hand, sitting back in my chair. He’s done some terrible things. He told me so himself. But he’s never been in jail. ‘Why are you not worried about the police?’

‘Because they can’t touch me.’

I breathe in. ‘Why?’

‘I deliver them lowlife scumbags like the bastard who attacked you and Penny in that alley the night I found you. He was wanted for dealing.’

‘And in return, they won’t touch you?’

‘Correct.’

‘So you keep them sweet?’

‘It isn’t just for my benefit. I’m taking dangerous men off the streets.’

‘You’re dangerous,’ I point out.

‘Are you scared of me?’

My jaw naturally tightens. ‘No.’

‘Case in point.’

I gawk at him. ‘How the hell is it case in point, Theo? I’m one of the only lunatics who isn’t scared of you.’

‘And that’s all that matters to me,’ he replies evenly, like that really is the end of it. ‘Your job is still yours, Izzy.’

I stare at him in utter disbelief. Just like that? But even if all of this disappears, I could never return to work. ‘Don’t you see, Theo?’ I ask, fighting to keep my arse on the chair instead of getting up and storming off. ‘If I go back to my job, do you think things will be easy for me? Susan might have been forced or intimidated into dropping her complaint, but I won’t be able to pretend it never happened, any more than she will be able to. The atmosphere will be unbearable.’ I swallow down my anger, fighting to maintain a calm tone. ‘You think you can use your power of persuasion and your connections to the police to make all this go away? It’s not that simple, Theo.’ There’s a very faint line on his forehead, evidence of a frown he’s trying to hold back. It only confirms my fear. He really did think it’s that simple. That I could dance back into work like nothing happened.

‘It sounds simple to me,’ he argues, looking slighted, confirming my thoughts.

‘Well, it’s not.’ I stand abruptly, and he looks up at me in shock. I think he actually expected me to fall to my knees in gratitude. Kiss his feet and reward him for getting me back the job that he lost. The man is insane. ‘Your skin might be thick and impenetrable, Theo, but mine is not. I care what people think. I care that the people I respect and value as friends think my boyfriend is a fucking maniac.’ I breathe in deeply as Theo sits back in his chair, quiet and accepting of my outburst. ‘I care that people look at you and think that you’re a bully and probably keep me in my place with your iron fist. Maybe literally.’ I just catch him wincing as I turn and walk away from him, the anger that was clogging up my throat now turning into emotion, the tears building, the despair becoming too much to shoulder.

‘Izzy, wait.’ He rounds me, ensuring he doesn’t touch me, and blocks the doorway. I take in his bare feet, the thread of his worn jeans dragging the carpet as he steps towards me. ‘I would never hurt you.’

I look up at him, my eyes brimming. ‘Not physically, no. But you’re hurting me here.’ I thump my hand over my chest. ‘The hospital was my haven, Theo. It was the one place in the world I felt safe, and you’ve taken it away from me.’ I quickly look down, realizing I’ve said too much, and close my eyes, hoping he doesn’t push me.