Gentleman Sinner(37)

And he pulls away again.

I sob, tears springing to my eyes. ‘Please,’ I beg quietly. ‘Please, please, please.’ I turn my face into my armpit and hide.

‘Here you go, baby.’ He flicks his tongue across my clit, pulling me back from the brink of desolation and pushing me to the edge of ecstasy. ‘Take it.’ He swirls slowly, and I detonate, my spine stretching violently, the straps cutting into my wrists and ankles. The pleasure rips through me unforgivingly, and just as I’m about to moan my way through it, Theo’s lips meet mine, the pad of his thumb finding my clit and rubbing gently as I go at his mouth like I might never get to taste him again.

He applies pressure where I need it, my face nuzzling him away and burying in the crook of his neck, my muscles spasming as I come down from my high. The frustration and teasing just made it all the more intense and powerful when he finally granted me the pleasure. I sigh, happy. ‘Thank you.’

He lifts his head and gazes down at me, brushing damp waves away from my forehead, silent for several long seconds before he speaks. ‘You’re amazing,’ he says softly, grazing his fingertips over my cheek as it heats beneath his touch. And when his cobalt eyes land on mine, my world doesn’t just turn upside down this time. It narrows into a tunnel, condensing everything, making what needs to be seen so very clear. Theo. Just him.

‘Are you religious?’ I ask quietly, flicking my eyes down to the rosary beads on his shoulder.

He glimpses down himself, as though he needs a reminder of the art decorating his body. ‘No.’

‘Then why all of the religious symbols?’

‘God forgives everyone,’ he says thoughtfully. ‘Even if they haven’t abided by his rules. They’re there to remind me . . .’ He pauses for a beat. ‘That I’ve broken his rules.’

My mind begins to gallop as my next question hangs on my tongue. I deliberate asking, wondering what rules he’s speaking of, but when his eyes harden, I suck back my question, though my curiosity is still rampant. I can tell by the look on his face that we won’t be going there. So I go somewhere else instead. ‘Did you tie me down because you were worried about me touching you?’

Theo smiles as he reaches up to my bonds and slowly starts unravelling them. ‘I’m hypersensitive to most people around me, Izzy. You more so. Every move you make, I see it coming. But I’m worried that in bed with you, I won’t have that advantage.’ He lets my arms drop, and I work some life back into them while he scoots down and takes care of my feet. When I’m free, I sit up, bringing my knees to my chin and curling my arms around them. He wraps the straps into perfect coils as he watches me on the bed. ‘Are you okay?’

I nod a little, even though I’m not. I can never touch him when we’re intimate? I can’t stroke him or caress his beautiful body? The loss suddenly hits me hard, and I glance away from the magnificent naked sight of Theo.

‘Izzy?’ he questions, troubled. ‘Tell me.’

‘I’m fine.’ I force a smile, brushing off his concern, and get up from the bed, set on finding my clothes and tracking Jess down. I never get to feel him? The more I think about it, the more devastated I am by that. He doesn’t trust himself. Why? He knows it’s me. He’ll know where I am.

I make it two paces before my escape is halted by a large palm wrapped around my wrist. ‘Izzy, wait,’ he orders gently, pulling me back a little, though I keep my focus forward on the door. ‘I’ve told you I need a controlled environment,’ he reminds me gently, holding me in place.

‘I know that.’

‘It’s not through choice.’

‘I can never touch you in bed. When we’re intimate. I want to be able to feel you.’ I let it all out and hear his sigh shortly after. He turns me to face him, lifting me from my feet with one arm around my lower back, using his other hand to take both of mine and place them on his shoulders one by one. Then he lies down on the bed, arranging me by his side. My brow remains creased the whole time, wondering what he’s doing and why. It’s all so very organized.

He draws light circles on my cheek. ‘If you ever want to lie in my bed with me, then you can.’

‘What if I move in my sleep? You’ll be asleep yourself. You won’t know.’

‘I won’t be asleep. I’ve never been a big sleeper. I’ll just lie with you. Watch you. And if you fidget or move, I’ll be fully aware of it, trust me.’

‘You need to sleep.’ He’s a machine.

‘Sleep, when I could look at you all night? Easy decision, Izzy.’

How could I not melt hearing that? But . . . ‘I’ve seen your staff,’ I begin, watching as he frowns, obviously wondering where I’m going with this. ‘They move out of your way, never come too close.’

‘They know me well.’

‘But I don’t.’

‘What do you want to know?’

‘Why’d you hunt me down?’

‘Hunt?’ He widens his eyes in feigned surprise. ‘You make me sound like an animal.’

I laugh under my breath. He just took me like one. ‘Why me?’

He smiles mildly. ‘I have to brace myself for anyone’s touch. Grit my teeth and hold my breath. It makes my skin crawl, but when you took my hand in the alley that night, my skin didn’t crawl. It tingled.’