Gentleman Sinner(120)

My arms drop heavily. ‘Like pass the fucking parcel,’ I mutter. ‘Ewww!’ Mum holds Lola at arm’s length, mirroring Penny’s turned-up nose of a minute ago. Lola isn’t fazed. She laughs and kicks enthusiastically in Mum’s arms. ‘Stinky girl! Yes you are!’

Penny swipes up her dance schedule and strolls out. ‘Her changing bag is over there,’ she calls over her shoulder.

Mum doesn’t reply, but hurries over to the corner and collects up Lola’s bag. ‘I’ll see to her,’ she says, taking my girl away.

‘Bring her straight back,’ I yell as the door slams behind her. And I feel lost again. I glance down at my watch, counting the minutes until I can collect Izzy.

‘Want to come and check out the new cage?’ Callum asks, sensing I need something to keep me busy until Mum brings Lola back.

I’m up from my chair quickly, giving my answer. We wander through to the club together, finding a few girls practicing routines on the stage. ‘I don’t miss it, you know,’ I muse, taking in the space. I only venture into the Playground when I need to, and I really don’t need to these days.

‘Well, that’s because you have better things to occupy yourself with.’ Callum leads the way over to the new cage, which is sitting prominently on the other side of the club. The metal is shiny, the floor spotless. Not for long. Sweat and blood will soon take care of that. ‘How’s the house coming along?’

The mention of our new haven in the countryside lifts me. ‘Great. We should be set to move in a few weeks.’

‘And you’re ready for a life in the middle of nowhere?’ Callum asks, glancing across at me.

I only have to think about my happy childhood in the village to know I’m doing the right thing. ‘This is no place to bring up a child.’

Callum opens the door of the cage and gestures for me to enter, and I step up and wander into the middle, gazing around. ‘Nice,’ I muse, and Callum laughs.

‘What?’

His chuckles continue as he looks at me standing in the middle of the cage, his finger pointing to my torso. ‘You’re such a mean motherfucker.’

I look down with a frown, reminded that my chest is still wrapped in a baby carrier. I join him in his amusement, the irony not escaping me. ‘Hey, how’s Jess?’

‘Annoying,’ he answers curtly. ‘As always.’

I laugh, deep and low, making for the exit. There’s another love-hate relationship. The two have never gotten things on. It’s frustrating for everyone who shares company with them. The chemistry is as strong today as it was when they met, but both refuse to act on it. I have no clue why. ‘Tell me—’

His hand comes up quickly and silences me. ‘I’ve already told you, I don’t know whether I want to fuck her or strangle her most. It’s taking me a while to figure it out.’

‘Both?’

He turns and walks away from me, tired of the conversation again. ‘She rubs me up the wrong way.’

‘You and Jess are Lola’s godparents. You have an obligation to get along.’

He scoffs and pushes his way out of the cage. ‘I get along with her just fine.’ He turns and holds the door open for me. ‘As long as I don’t look at her.’

I smirk at him as I exit, taking another quick peek at my watch. Six o’clock. Time to go pick up Izzy. ‘I’ll catch you later.’ I make my way back to the house in search of my girl, my pace quickening the closer I get. I can feel her in my bones.

I spot Mum bouncing Lola on her hip as Jefferson fusses over my daughter. I swear, the girl has turned the whole house into an institute of pussies. Lola must sniff me out, because her little head darts towards me as I make my way over, ready to claim what’s mine. She beams at me, so pleased to see me again. ‘Come to Daddy.’ I take her from Mum’s hold. ‘Time to pick Mummy up.’

Jefferson holds out her pink blanket and coat. ‘There’s a chill in the air tonight.’

‘Seat?’ I ask, being immediately presented with Lola’s car seat by Mum. Crouching, I settle Lola in the chair and strap her in.

‘I don’t know how you think you’re going to manage when you move out,’ Mum muses, placing Lola’s blanket over her lap and tucking her in. I flick her a tired look out of the corner of my eye. It’s a statement she makes daily. She knows I’ll manage just fine. She’s just sulking because she won’t have constant access to Lola when she’s at work.

‘We’ll be okay.’

‘And it’s not healthy having her permanently strapped to your chest. She’ll start to get separation anxiety.’ She reaches for the carrier still attached to me and tugs a little. ‘Are you going to take this off?’

‘No.’ I take the handle of Lola’s seat and rise. I don’t know if I’ll get it back on again. ‘See you later.’ I wander out and find my car waiting, the passenger door open, ready for me to load Lola in. She’s secure on the front seat in a few easy seconds, and after kissing her forehead, I make my way round and jump in.

*

‘Shall we wait here, or shall we go find her?’ I ask Lola when we pull up outside the college. She starts thrashing in her seat, arms and legs kicking out, and I nod in agreement. ‘Good choice.’