Garden of Serpents (The Demon Queen Trials #3)(58)

His sorrow seemed to fill me, a well of pain so deep, I’d never reach the bottom.

He met my gaze again, his expression ravaged with pain. “I did that because that is what I am deep down. I’m someone who will always save himself. I’m not Molor. He died because he was better than me. I always thought the ones who live are the worst ones. There is something twisted inside me, Rowan.”

Something in his words struck a chord in me because we were the same—the ones who lived. But he was wrong.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me so I could hear his beating heart. “You didn’t condemn your mom because you’re an abomination, my love. You condemned her because you were five—or six? You were a young child, and any other young child would do the same.” I stood on my tiptoes to nestle into his neck.

Tentatively, his arm slid around my lower back. “A hero should protect people,” he said, and the sentiment was strangely childish, like that part of him had stopped at five.

I kissed his neck. “But a little boy shouldn’t be a hero. And the abominations were the people who tried to break you, because that wasn’t just about getting a confession on the books. They were trying to break the Lightbringer. Orion, I know your mom would have wanted to go to her death instead of you. My mom ran into actual fire for me, and I know yours loved you just as much. How could she not? You weren’t born twisted somehow. You were just a boy who loved his family, and they used it against you. You have some scars, inside and out, but we all do.” I stared up into his eyes. “How many times have you saved my life? You went through torture today to keep me safe. You’re protecting me.”

His hand slid up, and he cupped the back of my head.

I traced my fingers over his scarred skin, finding it already more healed, the ridges nearly gone. “You’re my Lightbringer—the shining one who fell into the shadows.”

Ferocity gleamed in his pale eyes. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, pulling me up by my lower back so my heels lifted off the floor. I felt all my anger melting away, and my fears too, as his warm magic vibrated around me.

He withdrew from the kiss, looking at me from under his dark eyelashes. “Rowan Morgenstern, Queen of the City of Thorns.”

I pressed the grimoire to him again. “Bring it home, Orion.”





32





ROWAN





It was a good thing that I’d left Orion when I did, because I was pretty sure Jack was getting close to the boundary—the magical turnpike that kept demons trapped.

I found him by an old stone grist mill. The trees around it burst with crimson, the colors enflamed with scarlet, marigold, and ochre. But since blood covered Jack’s clothes, it was easy to hunt him by scent. And by the time I reached him, he’d run out of energy. Jack was limping along below me, red-faced. Orion’s blood soaked him, and another hot rush of rage burst through me. I landed before him, my wings spread out.

I savored the look of fear seizing Jack’s body as he took me in and stumbled back. “Rowan. Just remember, we were friends once.”

I took a step closer. “Except we were never friends, Jack.”

“You’re not like these demons. I know you, Rowan. We grew up together.” He lifted his hands. “Remember the talent show? You did a magic show! In high school.” A wild laugh escaped him. “It was…it was…it wasn’t even good, Rowan. You fell off the stage. And now you can fly? You can incinerate people? This isn’t the Rowan I knew growing up.”

My lip curled. “Even when you’re begging for your life, you can’t stop yourself from reminding me what an asshole you are. You took a video of me falling off the stage, and you uploaded it to Instagram. Remember that?”

He looked like he was about to cry. “But you’re not like them. That’s my point. You’re just…you know. Rowan. You’re harmless.”

My hand shot out, and I lifted him by the throat, squeezing. “You hurt someone I loved. And it turns out, when that happens, I am very much like a demon. I’m not harmless anymore.”

I dropped him on the ground. He started scrambling to get away from me, and I reached for him again. This time, I let my claws out a little, piercing his skin when I lifted him above me. “I have a few questions for you. First, I want to know where the book is. The one with the Lilu names. When I release you again, I’m going to find a way to make you tell me.”

I dropped him a second time, then slammed my heel into his knee. He screamed, grabbing the broken bone. I had to wait until his cries subsided, and then he managed to choke out, “Burned.”

My teeth clenched. “You burned it?”

I brought my heel down hard into the same knee. His screams ripped through the air.

“We didn’t need it.” He rolled over, looking like was about to be sick. “It’s digitized now.”

Such a banal statement in the midst of all the carnage, but it was useful.

“Where is Shai?” I demanded. “Was she the one who turned me in?”

Even as he was shaking, he managed to smile at me. “She’s not exactly who you think she is. Even now, you don’t have any real friends, Rowan. The demons don’t care about you. I could be your friend if you let me live.”