Gameboard of the Gods (Age of X, #1)(157)

Mae reeled. All the nightmares that had tormented her before she joined the pr?torians were the result of this unholy deal, her subconscious way of coping with something so twisted. “Dad stopped it, didn’t he? The home instruction, the visits. He couldn’t stand to see me go through that torment.”

Her mother scowled. “I couldn’t stand it. I’m not as heartless as you think I am, Maj, but it was a little too late. You slept somewhat better, but those nightmares never entirely went away.”

“Because she never went away,” Mae murmured, unable to believe how casually she was discussing the Morrigan. “You promised me to her, and she wouldn’t let me go.”

“There are a lot of rumors going around,” her mother said lightly. “Rumors that aren’t in the news. I heard the Morrigan’s temple was dismantled, and that pr?torians and SCI were involved. Seems like her power might not be what it used to be.” Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “How are your dreams now?”

“I don’t dream. I don’t sleep.” Mae fell silent for a few moments. “How do you sleep knowing you put my life at risk? They must have told you the consequences if I didn’t follow their path.”

“I figured it was a problem we’d deal with later.” So typical. “Besides, you seem alive and well to me.”

What Mae felt was numbed. “How could you so casually sign on with a death cult, Mother? And which did you—do you—believe: that they used illicit technology or that they used unholy powers to create me?”

Her mother shrugged. “It made no difference. I’d heard about their results, and after your disappointing siblings, I had to do something. Desperate times call for desperate actions, but our last, best hope ended up being a bad investment.”

Mae had always resented the thought of being a commodity, but there was something even worse about being an investment. “I’m your daughter,” she said simply.

“And you’re a bad one of those too.” Her mother glanced at her ego and sighed impatiently. “I’m meeting Dorothy Olsen for mimosas. If you have nothing else to complain about, then I’ll be on my way, and you can return to playing soldier or whatever it is you like to do.”

“I serve the most powerful force in the country, Mother.”

“Do you, Maj?” Her mother’s smile managed to be both condescending and wistful at the same time. “The next time you look at that ‘perfect’ face or do some incredible physical feat, ask yourself where the real power is these days.”





[page]CHAPTER 36





THE OTHER PATTERN





Justin wrote out two versions of his official report on the events at the Morrigan’s temple. He knew both Mae and Leo would back up whichever version got sent. The decision now rested on him, and he put it off for as long as possible, which was easy to do since SCI left him hanging for almost a week after the raid. Finally, a passive-aggressive message came in from Cornelia, telling him she wanted a meeting and that it would be “useful” to have the report beforehand, so that she knew what the meeting was actually about.

That was an exaggeration, of course. The police had a broad picture of what had happened that night, and he knew Internal Security had hit the jackpot with evidence linking the cult to the murders. Nonetheless, his words, describing the specifics, would put the final stamp on this case—and possibly on his life.

So, he went back and forth, taking no action and vowing that when he did, he’d do it sober—which was easier said than done in these long, empty days waiting for SCI to get its act together. One thing both versions of the report shared was a harrowing tale of Mae’s heroics, how she took out impossible numbers of attackers and finally was forced to kill Emil in self-defense. It was Justin’s favor to both her and Leo and would also go a long way toward getting Mae back to the regular pr?torian duty she longed for. Sure, she’d still have to cope with the mental fallout of the supernatural proceedings she’d witnessed, not to mention the earth-shattering revelations about her birth, but she was strong. She would survive and move on, eventually forgetting him.

I thought the self-pity and melodrama would end after Panama, said Magnus one evening as Justin mulled over his fate. But you’ve managed to take it to new heights.

I’m not being melodramatic, just stating a fact. She’s hardly returned my calls, and it’s better for both of us that way. She’s getting on with her life, and I’m going to do the same. No point in sitting around.

Actually, that’s kind of what you’ve been doing for the last week, Horatio retorted. Unless you consider those roommates you went out with last night a worthy use of your time.

Very worthy, Justin assured him.

You’ve gone through so much and seen so much, yet here you are, back to drinking, dice, and women, scolded Magnus. At the very least, you should work on your runes in your downtime.

No. One was enough.

Justin didn’t want to do any more embracing of higher powers quite yet. He’d grown comfortable in exile with the ravens and the idea of a nebulous godly patron keeping track of him. Being face-to-face with powers of the magnitude he’d seen recently had been staggering, however, enough to make him seriously uneasy about his own future. Even the small charm he’d performed for Mae had left him unsettled, as was acknowledging that she was one of the elect. Seeing exactly what a deity could do made him want to avoid serving one more than ever. Mae was unquestionably off-limits, and her distance this week had made it easier to strengthen his resolve against future entanglements.