Fueled (Driven, #2)(45)
When I just stand there staring at her with disdain she continues. “I’ve never seen Colton like that at the track before. He brings his bimbos, they flit around like arm candy, but he disregards them. He never lets someone distract him when he’s in the car. You distracted him. I’ve never seen him so...” she searches for a word “...smitten with someone before.” She crosses her arms across her chest and leans against the wall. “And my dad tells me you were at the Broadbeach house? Then to top it off Becks tells me you went to Vegas with them?”
What is it with the women in Colton’s life keeping tabs on me and passing judgment?
Smitten? Colton may have said that I scare him, but in no way did he infer love or even hint at that. Definitely not smitten. I’m something different than his typical in-your-face, I-want-something-from-you-in-return type of girl. I burn him. I scare him. But for some reason despite all of that, I don’t make him want to try for something more than what he’s used to. I’m not enough to make him change his ways. He’s not going to confront his demons when he’s not even willing to talk about them. And that’s the only way I think he’ll be able to give into the emotion I see brimming in his eyes and feel in the worshiping actions of his touch.
I shake myself from my thoughts and focus on Quinlan. She stares at me. Really stares at me causing me to squirm under her silent scrutiny. “And your point is what, Quinlan?”
“Listen, as much as Colt tries to play Mr. Aloof and think that I don’t—shit my whole family...” she exhales “...doesn’t know about his little arrangements...” she rolls her eyes in disgust as she says the word, “It’s no secret to us. His stupid rules and sexist ways run amok. And as much as I disagree with him and his antics, I know it’s the only way he thinks he can have a relationship…his necessary way of dealing with his past.” Her eyes hold mine and I realize she is apologizing for her brother. For what he thinks he can’t give me. Over the fact that he’s afraid to even try.
“Was it that horrible?” I whisper, already knowing the answer.
Finally a softness plies her steeped countenance as a true sadness fills her eyes. She nods her head subtly. “He rarely speaks of it, and I’m certain there are parts that he’s never spoken about, Rylee. Experiences that I can’t even begin to fathom.” She looks down at her pink painted nails and twists her fingers into each other. “Having parents who don’t want you is hard enough to come to grips with when you’re adopted. Colton…Colton had so much more than that to overcome.” She shakes her head and I can see that she is struggling with how much to tell me. She looks up at me, eyes clear yet conflicted. “An eight year old boy so hungry—locked in his room while his mom did God knows what for days—that he somehow escaped and went in search for food, luckily collapsing on my dad’s doorstep.”
I suck in a breath, my heart quickening, my soul wrenching, and my faith in humanity crumbling.
“That’s just a small snippet of his hell, but it’s his story to tell you, Rylee. Not mine. I’m only sharing so you have an iota of what he’s been through. Of the patience and persistence you’re going to need.”
I nod in understanding, unsure of what to say next to a woman who moments before was berating me and who is now giving me advice. “So…”
“So I had to make sure you were for real.” She offers me an apologetic smile of resignation. “And once I did, I wanted to get a good look at the first woman that might be the one to make him whole again.”
Her words stagger me. “You’ve taken me by surprise here,” I admit, unsure of what else to say.
“I know that I may be coming off a little strong, presumptuous even in being here…but I love Colton more than anything in the world.” She smiles softly at his name. “And I’m just looking out for him. I want nothing less than the best for him.”
This I can understand.
She pushes off the wall and straightens herself in front of me. “Look, if you look past the gorgeously rough exterior…there’s a scared little boy inside that’s afraid of love. That for some reason he associates love with horrific expectations one minute and then thinks he’s not worthy of it the next. I think he’s afraid to love someone because he knows that they’ll leave. He’ll most likely hurt you to prove that you will...” she shakes her head “...and for that hell alone, I apologize because from what I can tell, you deserve better than that.”
Her words hit me in their full force. I understand the little boy inside because I have a backyard full of them right now with issues of their own. I just wish they had the unconditional love that Colton seems to have in Beckett and Quinlan. Someone who stands up for them and looks out for them because they want nothing but the best for them. This love—this protective feeling—I understand.
Quinlan reaches out and places her hand on my arm and squeezes to make her point. “I love my brother dearly, Rylee. Some would say that I worshiped the ground he walked on growing up.” She reaches in her pocket and pulls something out, averting her eyes from mine. “I’m sorry for my intrusion. I really shouldn’t be here…interfering.” She seems embarrassed all of a sudden as she steps toward the door. She reaches out her hand and places a check in mine. Her eyes look up to meet mine, and for the first time I see acceptance in them. “Thank you for your time, Rylee.” She takes a step past me and then hesitates and looks back at me. “If you get the chance, take care of my brother.”