Fueled (Driven, #2)(29)
“That’s absurd,” I tell him, looking over at Haddie, who’s arched her eyebrow at the turn in conversation, a pleased smirk on her lips. I realize that Beckett is telling me I am the first female to tell Colton no. To not ask how high when he says jump. I glance down at Colton and back up to Beckett. “Surely one of his many others have told him no before.”
He thinks in silence for a moment before answering. “Not that I know of,” Beckett says, tipping the bottle to his lips, “and if they have, I’ve never seen Colton care like this.” He leans back and stretches out again, and I try to read the unspoken words in his eyes. “He came back from lunch one surly S. O. B., Rylee. I actually felt bad for the people on the other end of our meeting today.” He smiles at the thought. “And then the next thing I know, he was pounding out his frustration on the treadmill. Pulling me to the bar with him to sulk and started making phone calls. Hatching a plan. Telling people we’ll be in Vegas by ten, to get their asses there, and to meet him at the usual place.”
The usual place? “You guys do this often?”
“Every couple of months.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “But here’s the thing, Rylee, no matter who he’s with, I’ve never—never—seen him bring the woman he’s seeing, or whatever the hell he’s doing with them, along with us.” He tips the bottle of the beer at me. “Now that’s something to think about.”
Beckett eyes hold mine until he knows I understand. There’s something different between Colton and me that he hasn’t seen before. I nod my head at him.
He leans forward again. “I’ve known Colton for a long time, Rylee. He can be cocky as hell and a stubborn ass at times, but he’s a good guy. A really good guy.” I can sense the sincerity in his voice and the brotherly love he has for Colton. He looks down at his slumbering friend and back at me. “He may not always go about things the right way, or even know how to go about them at all, but he usually has the best intentions behind his actions.” When I don’t say anything he just nods and continues. “I’m telling you this because you matter to him. More than he’s willing to admit or can acknowledge right now, but it’s important for you to know. Because if he matters to you like I think he does…really matters…not just for the recognition of being with him, but because of who he is, then you need to hear it. Shit,” he swears, running a hand over his jaw and leaning back shaking his head. “I must be drunk if I just told you that. Fuck.” He sighs. “He’d throttle me right now if he knew I was telling you any of this.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, my voice barely a whisper as I try to digest everything he’s just told me—everything I wanted to ask him but was afraid to. My head is reeling with his confession. I try to keep a rein on the hope and possibilities that bubble up inside of me. I matter enough that his best friend notices the difference in him. I just need to remember that unless Colton acknowledges it, these feelings still mean nothing.
Haddie looks over at me and smiles softly, knowing how much I needed to hear this. That these words justify the depths of emotion I already feel for Colton.
He thanks the flight attendant as she hands him another beer. “I’ve said this much, I might as well finish,” he mutters to himself with a sheepish smile spreading on his lips. Colton shifts and turns into me, his face nuzzling my abdomen, and all I want to do is bend down and kiss him. “Trying to control Colton is like trying to grab the wind. Don’t even bother...” he shakes his head “...he’s gonna f*ck up, Rylee. He’s going to make a lot of mistakes and say all of the wrong things because he doesn’t know how to do anything other than what he’s been doing.”
Beckett takes a pull on his beer and sighs. “He’ll never admit it Rylee. And unless you are one of the few that are close enough to him to see it, you’d never guess that he’s a man drowning in his past. To accept that there might be more than just the usual arrangement per se with you—and by you being here, there obviously is—he might just pull you down so that you’re drowning with him.” He shifts some in his seat, eyes never breaking from mine. “When that happens, Rylee, more than anything he’s going to need you to be his lifeline. He’s going to be so consumed and obsessed with preventing his past from meeting his future that he’s going to need everything from you to keep him afloat.”
He holds my eyes for a minute longer and then eases back into his seat, a slight smile playing the corners of his mouth. “I love him to death, Rylee, but some days I hate him too.” He shrugs without apology, “That’s just Colton.”
I look back up at Beckett and smile softly, a silent agreement to his assessment. “I’m beginning to understand that,” I mutter.
The flight attendant comes over to fill our drinks one last time and to inform us that we will be beginning our descent into Las Vegas shortly. I look down at Colton and a feeling of warmth spreads throughout me as I realize how much I’ve come to care for and love—yes love—him. I shake my head and Haddie catches my eye, her happiness for me brimming in hers.
It’s been several years since I’ve been to Las Vegas, and I can’t believe how much the city of sin has changed in that time. New hotels have sprouted up while old ones have been torn down. Aging ones have been renovated and made over to match the caliber of the new ones.