Frost (Frost and Nectar #1)(63)

He met my gaze once more, and he seemed to be searching my eyes. “Ava,” he rasped.

Then, as quickly as the kiss had begun, he pulled away from me. He sat up, turning aside, and ran his hand through his hair.

I sat up, too, frowning at him. My body missed the warmth of his, the feel of him wrapped around me.

He looked back at me, his expression ice-cold. “You do know it’s just lust, Ava. This isn’t real. I cannot…I do not like you.”

His words hit me like an icicle in my chest, and I stared at him, stunned. As he rose from the ground, it took me a moment to remember how words worked. But of course—I’d expected this all along, hadn’t I?

I swallowed hard, ignoring the numbness growing in my fingers and toes from the cold. “You don’t like me because I’m a common fae.”

Of course, Torin also had a history of some kind with Moria—a High Fae blue blood.

“No,” he rasped. “That’s not why. I took you here for a reason.”

My jaw clenched. “And that reason is…”

“I needed to remind myself…” He trailed off. “Look, it really doesn’t matter. This was never meant to be real. You knew that.”

I stood, brushing the snow off my clothes. “It’s fine.” I lowered my voice to steady it so he couldn’t hear it breaking. “I knew all along you’re just another pretty boy asshole, and that hasn’t changed. So there have been no surprises on my end.” I was pretty sure I was doing an amazing job of covering up the fact that he’d knocked the wind out of me.

Bizarrely—even though he was the one rejecting me—an expression of pain ghosted over his features for a moment.

Then he turned and stalked away into the shadows. I stared after him. He hadn’t even bothered to pick up his sword.

I’d known what this was. He never wanted to marry. Didn’t want to fall in love or have children.

And neither had I, because I was done with love.

But it felt as if my heart was breaking anyway.





29

A VA

B y the time I returned to my room, furious, my fingers and toes had gone completely numb, and my teeth wouldn’t stop chattering.

Even though Torin had disappeared without a trace, he’d sent guards to escort me back to my room, which somehow annoyed me even more.

I found Shalini sitting cross-legged on her bed, hunched over a book. On the table next to her was a bottle of wine and two empty glasses. Soaked through with snow, I felt a sudden pang of jealousy for her quiet, warm evening.

She looked up as I came in. “You look freezing. How did training go?”

“Torin is a twat.”

She immediately grabbed the empty wine glass and began pouring. “Is he? What happened?”

“Well, we trained.” I pulled off my damp cloak and draped it over a chair. “Then we kissed. And then he told me he doesn’t actually like me.”

She stared at me, nearly spilling the wine. “What the hell, Torin? I mean, even for a fuckboy, couldn’t he just keep that bit to himself?”

I plucked the wine off the table and went to stand by the fireplace to warm up. “I think he’s horrified at himself for having the hots for a common fae.”

She shook her head. “Surely he’s not that shallow, is he?”

I shrugged. “Well, I can’t think of anything else.” I gave her a wry smile. “Given how often we end up kissing, it seems he likes how I look.” I shrugged. “And surely my charming fucking personality isn’t putting him off. But it really doesn’t matter, Shalini. I went in here knowing that love was bullshit, so I don’t feel a thing. Torin is hardly any different from Andrew, is he? I’m here for the money. That’s all.”

A thorny tendril of accusation wove through my thoughts— Liar. Because that kiss had been mind-blowing enough to make me forget all about Andrew and my pledge to never love again. To even forget about the fifty million…

But did I really need to admit that out loud? My ego had taken enough damage lately.

“You are genuinely charming to anyone with sense.” She cocked her head. “By the way, Aeron isn’t quite as chaste as he’s supposed to be anymore.”

“You’re kidding.” The warmth washed over me from the fireplace, drying my clothes a little, and the fire crackled behind me. I returned her smile. “Well, at least one of us found a nice guy.”

She slid her empty wine glass onto the table. “That’s not the only thing I found.”

I rubbed my hands together, feeling the blood pumping again. “What else?”

“You know how we searched the room for secret passages, and we didn’t find any?” She swung her legs off the bed and walked over to one of the bookshelves. “Well, we do have a secret passage.

And it’s a fucking classic.”

“What do you mean, a classic?”

“Watch this.” She tugged at a stone gargoyle on a shelf, and it clicked. The bookshelf swung inward with a creak, a few books tumbling to the floor.

Okay. The bookshelf passage was a classic, and I don’t know why we hadn’t tried it before.

“Where do you think it goes?” I whispered.

She glanced back at the door to the hall. “The assassin came in from the main entrance, yeah?”