Frost (Frost and Nectar #1)(4)

“No, I mean like…where are you actually from? Originally.”

“Arlington.” Shalini’s eyes narrowed. “How about a little French? Foutre le camp!”

The man laughed nervously. “That’s not one of the languages I know.”

“Do you know programming languages? How about this— sudo kill dash nine you?”

The man’s eyes brightened with excitement. “I will if you tell me the admin password.” His tone sounded faintly lascivious, and I no longer understood what was happening.

My gaze drifted to Hitched and Stitched. The groom had forced his potential brides into a boxing match. Apparently, the best way to choose a wife was to have them punch each other while wearing bikinis. I frowned at the screen, wondering how many of them really would need a new nose after this episode.

When I turned back to Shalini and the random guy, they were arguing about a programming language.

Shalini was absolutely brilliant with computers. She’d been working for some fancy tech startup that had gone public a month ago. I wasn’t sure how much money she’d made with her stock options, but whatever it was, she no longer needed a job. Once, she’d been an obsessive academic, insanely driven, but she was burned out, and she just wanted to have fun.

Shalini held up a hand. “Steve, Ava has had a bad night. She’s not a fan of men right now. We’re going to need some space.”

And this was where I made a crucial mistake. “It’s just that I caught my boyfriend banging Ashley.”

Steve bit his lip. “If you guys want a threesome, or…”

“No!” said Shalini and I in unison.

“Whatever.” Steve’s face hardened as he looked at me. “Not trying to be a dick, but you’re not really that pretty, anyway. Not with the elf ears.” He sauntered away, humming to himself.

“Fae!” I turned back to Shalini, touching my delicately pointed fae ears. “Shit. That didn’t help my self-esteem.”

“You know tons of men say shit like that when they’re rejected, right? One second, you’re the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen. The next, you’re a stuck-up bitch with weird knees.

Everyone knows that fae ears are hot, and so are you. You’re just intimidating.”

I’d lived among the humans, tried to blend in. I’d like to say it was by choice, but the truth was, the fae had kicked me out long ago. No idea why.

“Is that what all human men think when they see me?” I asked.

Shalini shook her head. “You’re fucking gorgeous. Dark brown hair, big eyes, sexy lips. You’re like a little fae Angelina Jolie from the ’90s. And your ears are hot as fuck. You know what? I’m making it my life’s mission to get myself a fae boyfriend. Human men are messy.”

I grimaced. “And fae men are terrifying.”

“How do you know that?”

A dark memory swept through the back of my mind, but it was intangible, elusive—a wispy phantom in my thoughts. “I don’t know. There are a few common fae like me out here, but I don’t run into them often. All the High Fae live in Faerie, and I think they have magical powers. But in any case, you can only get into their world through a portal, and that requires an invitation, which I’m certainly not getting.”

“What do you imagine the males would be like in bed, though?”

“I’ve literally never thought about it.”

She pointed at me. “Have you ever noticed that the most mind-blowing sex is with the worst trainwrecks of men? The best sex I ever had was with a guy who believed that aliens live in the Earth’s core. He lived in a yurt in his parents’ backyard, and his only job was trying to make kombucha. Which he never managed, by the way. His shoes were held together with duct tape. Mind blowing sex in the yurt, and that’s how I know there is no God. Who was yours?”

“Best sex?” My first instinct was to say Andrew, but no, that wasn’t the truth. And I didn’t have to be loyal to him anymore. “His name was Dennis. On our first date, he served me cold soup out of a can and tried to beat box for a solid fifteen minutes. He ate weed brownies for breakfast and wanted to be a professional magician. But his body was absolute perfection, and he was insane in bed. In a good way.”

Shalini nodded sympathetically. “Exactly. It’s too cruel. Is it possible that fae men could be good in bed and also normal?”

“Fuck knows. I’m pretty sure they’re all arrogant, and I think kind of murdery? But I’m not even allowed in the fae world.” This was something I never talked about, but all the beer had loosened me up.

“Why not? You never explained it to me.”

I leaned forward. “The fae world is all about your family lineage. And since my parents gave me up for adoption at birth, no one knows what my lineage is. I’m an outcast.” I looked down at myself, seeing what others must see. “Shalini, I’m not doing much better than Dennis, am I? I’m broke and currently wearing a cat sweatshirt covered in food stains.” I reached up to touch my hair, realizing that I had one of those I’ve given up buns with hair sticking out. “Oh, God. This is what I looked like to meet Ashley.”

“You look sexier than ever. You look like someone kept you up all night because you’re hot as hell.” Her eyes moved to my now empty pint glass. “Another round?”