Friends Like These(66)

“A minute?” Derrick asked.

“Time,” Keith said, still staring at the picture frame as he started up the steps. “I’ll do what you guys want, whatever you want. Just give me a little while, okay? I need to think.”

“No, not okay, Keith,” Derrick called after him. “You need to go to rehab. There’s nothing to think about.”

“No, no, not about that,” Keith said with a shake of his head. He paused, looked at us. “I need to talk to Finch first. That’s all. There’s been a miscommunication about something. I need to work it out with him before I go anywhere. I don’t want him firing me while I’m gone.”

“You’re sure that’s all it is?” I asked. The look on his face was just so stunned, frightened almost.

“Yeah.” Keith looked first at me, then Derrick. “That’s all it is. I’m sure.”

And with that he disappeared up the steps, empty picture frame still in his hand.

“Maybe this is good,” Derrick said.

“Good?”

Derrick shrugged. “When we were out at the Farm, it definitely seemed like maybe Keith had finally hit rock bottom.”

“Rock bottom is great,” I said. “As long as the rest of us don’t get stuck down there with him.”

It was impossible not to think of Alice. In those days right after the roof, she’d been completely manic, obsessed with figuring out who the guy from the roof was, making sure his family knew he wasn’t some thief. She wanted to make amends. But some things couldn’t be fixed. Sometimes your apology meant nothing, to anyone. The only option was to learn to live around the awfulness, like a river flowing over stones. I tried to explain that to Alice, but she refused to listen.

“I just want to tell his family that he wasn’t stealing anything,” Alice had said, sitting on the edge of my bed as I leaned back against the wall. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“Alice, come on,” I said in my most reasonable voice. “How can you possibly tell his parents without also admitting you were on the roof with him? That we all were.”

She was undeterred. “I’ll figure out a way. First, I need to get to Hudson and find his family. Then I can, I don’t know, leave an anonymous note or something. I’m not going to do anything that puts you all at risk, obviously. This is just something I need to do for myself.”

Whatever I did in that moment, I had to do very gently. Alice did not respond well to pressure. She’d dart away and do whatever the hell she wanted anyway.

“Listen, I understand why you want to do that.” I kept my tone even. “It makes complete sense. We all regret not calling the police. But you can’t go to Hudson by yourself. That could be dangerous.”

I wondered, looking at Alice then, how unstable she really was. She’d been off her medication for at least a week before the roof— we all knew. It was always obvious.

“You’d go with me?” Tears made her eyes shiny. Of course that was not what I’d said.

“Maybe.” There was no way I was going to Hudson with her. “But only if you take your medication first.”

She shook her head. “No, no, I have been. I’m— ”

“Alice,” I said. “You’re not thinking clearly. And this is the kind of situation where you definitely need to be.”

She stared at me for a good minute before her head finally dropped. “Okay.” She marched over to her bureau, pulled open the top drawer, retrieved a bottle of pills, and shook it. There were plenty inside. She took one while I watched. “Happy?”

But I wasn’t happy, of course. Not then. Not now.

“Don’t worry,” Derrick said, putting a hand on my shoulder, drawing me back to Jonathan’s living room. To the mess we were in. “No matter what happens with Keith, I promise not to let him pull you down.”

He meant it sweetly, of course. But it irritated me. I didn’t need his protection. I needed his car to drive me back to the city. Right now.

“Thanks.” I forced a smile.

But Derrick was still looking at me. In that way. Shit. He was going to do this now, wasn’t he?

“Maeve, there’s something I have to tell you,” he began, though I willed him not to. “Something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a really long time.”

“Are you sure now is the best time? We have so much else going— ”

“I know, Maeve,” Derrick said meaningfully. “I’ve known this whole time.”

“You know what?” My heart felt like a drum.

“I know what happened on the roof.”

My mind flashed to the anonymous email: I know what you did. It was Derrick who’d sent it?

“But I know it wasn’t your fault,” he said. “That’s all I wanted to say. I hope you know that, too.”

All I could do was stare at him. Because his tone and words were kind, but given the context— that creepy email? He was obviously threatening me. It dawned on me fully now. And how exactly did he think this was going to go? That I’d fall in love with him because he had something on me?

“I don’t understand, Derrick.” I must have seemed angry, too, because Derrick looked panicked.

“I would never say anything. Never,” he added, quick and forceful. “That wasn’t the— We’re friends, Maeve. I’d do anything to protect you. I mean, I already have, all this time. I guess I just wanted you to know that.”