French Silk(104)

"And that will be only the beginning. I plan to be present in the courtroom every day. The trial will be a hot news item for weeks, months. I want to be there for the duration. Visible. A tragic figure. I've got to make the most of the free publicity. Ready?"

While outlining her plans, she had been checking the bathroom, closet, and bureau drawers for anything she might have previously overlooked. Now she turned to Josh, who had remained quiet throughout her speech..

"Let me get this straight," he said tightly. "You haven't learned your lesson yet."

"I'm going to eat, all right? You can stop nagging me about that."

"But the bulimia was only half the problem, Ariel. You're going to drive yourself to the point of another collapse, is that the plan?"

"No, that's not the plan," she said with syrupy sweetness. "I don't intend to wind up in the hospital again, but I'm not going to retire from living just because I got a little overexerted and had a fainting spell."

"What about the baby?"

"What about it?"

"Is it mine?"

"No," she answered in a testy, clipped voice. "It's your dearly departed father's. He did this to me," she said, her eyes glinting with malice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You always use a rubber. He didn't. The son of a bitch."

"You didn't want a child?"

"Hell no! Do you think I'm crazy? Why would I want to have a kid and give up everything I've worked for?"

"But Daddy wanted a child."

"Oh naturally," she said caustically. "You know how he was. Him and his monstrous ego. He wanted a little Jackson Wilde Junior who mirrored him to a tee." She regarded Josh with contempt. "His first son had been such a disappointment."

Josh lowered his eyes to his long, slender, musician's hands; there was nothing he could say to refute the hateful truth.

"He'd been badgering me to have a kid," Ariel continued. "He said it would be good for our image and would strengthen the ministry. We'd be more popular than the First Family, he said.

"I kept putting him off, but, as always, the son of a bitch is having the last word. I'll bet he's having a good laugh on me right now." She glared down at the floor and stomped her foot, as though addressing her husband in hell. "I hate you, you bastard."

"When did you discover that you're pregnant, Ariel?"

She swung her hair over her shoulder and looked at her somber stepson. "I found out the night I collapsed, about an hour after they brought me here and examined me."

"You didn't know before then?"

She cocked her head, her eyes squinting shrewdly. "What are you getting at?"

"Did you suspect you were pregnant before Daddy … died?"

She turned her back on him and reached for her handbag. "What difference does it make? He knocked me up. If he were alive, I'd be stuck with a kid. Fortunately, he's in no position to prevent me from losing it."

Josh spun her around so quickly that her neck audibly popped. "'Losing it'?"

She threw off his hands. "Don't be na?ve, Josh. If you think I'm going to give up my career as a televangelist for dirty diapers and strained beets, you've got another think coming. I don't want a kid. I never did." She smiled smugly. "This is one argument Jackson is going to lose."

"Have you thought about how unpopular you'd become among your faithful flock if word leaked out that you'd had an abortion?"

"I'm not that stupid," she snapped. "Anyone who's seen a TV in the past week knows that I collapsed from exhaustion and grief. Soon it will be duly reported that in spite of my pregnancy, I'm dedicated to fulfilling Jackson's mission and denouncing his enemies. I won't rest until I see his killer captured and punished.

"For a while, I'll use the pregnancy to my benefit. Tears will flow every time I talk about how thrilled Jackson would be to know that he'd left his living seed in my womb. Talk about having a biblical ring!" she added with a coarse laugh.

"I'll reference Abraham and Sarah and how God finally rewarded their faithfulness with a child. Then, in a few weeks, I'll grieve myself into a miscarriage. Think of the avalanche of public sentiment we'll gain then. "Robbed of her husband, robbed of her child, she courageously continues her crusade.'"

The fantasy caption made her eyes glow like blue flames. She glanced at Josh and laughed again. "Why, what's the matter, Josh? You look like you're about to blow chow."

"The thought of it makes me sick."

"Don't tell me you were excited about the baby. Is that why you've been so chipper lately? Did you fancy yourself a stand-in daddy for your little stepbrother?" She patted his cheek. "If you weren't so dumb, you'd be kind of cute."

He swatted her hand aside. "I'm not nearly as dumb as you mistakenly think, Ariel." With an irritable jerk of his head, he indicated the wheelchair. "Ready?"

"More than ready. But I'm walking, not riding." She reached for her suitcase.

"You shouldn't be carrying that."

"Why not? I'm anxious to free myself of Jackson's last shackle." Hoisting the heavy suitcase, she marched toward the door.