Freckles(37)

Not exactly parting words, but over shared buttery scrambled eggs, thick-cut maple rashers and Valentia black pudding, Pops said he’d been thinking about it. The five people theory.

The theory I imagine, Allegra, he says, is that if you surround yourself with people who love Star Wars then you’re going to know a lot about Star Wars, am I right, if you surround yourself with happy people, Allegra, then you can be happy. So worry not about Marion, Jamie and Cyclops, and this little turd who was rude to you in Dublin, it’s all in your control.

Which is probably the most positive thing I heard on this trip home, even if Pops was just being polite about a theory he doesn’t support. I take out my notebook again and begin to write.

Dear Amal Alamuddin Clooney

My name is Allegra Bird and I’m writing to you in the hopes that you will become one of my five. Let me tell you what that means. I recently learned the phrase from a guy who ripped up a parking ticket in my face. I’m a parking warden, you see, and he meant this phrase, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, as an insult. I suppose, as I’m writing this to you now I’ve realised that he also intended this as an insult to the people in my life too because he didn’t like what he saw in me. We have since patched things up. Yes it was cruel but don’t worry I’m not looking for legal advice. It did force me to take a closer look at the people in my life though. Who are my five.

I would have thought it was easy. But I’m returning from a recent trip home, in fact I’m writing this to you on a train, and I realise that my five people were from my previous life. I moved away, I’m kind of on a mission, and I currently find myself without a five. It’s embarrassing, sad, I suppose, but I’m trying to see this positively now. I can curate my life. I can look to the people who inspire me, the people who would ground me, or lift me, or guide me, be honest with me, and by choosing the people around me and who influence me, I can choose who I want to be.

You are an amazing woman, Amal. You are an international law maker who is an advocate for criminal justice. I’ve read all the articles you’ve written that I could find online, I admire you representing Nobel Peace Prize winner Nadia Murad, journalist Mohamed Fahmy, former Maldives president Mohamed Nasheed, the Reuters journalists in Myanmar, and the fact that you represented Julian Assange in his fight against extradition makes you a hero in Pops’ eyes. Plus you’re a mother, a fashion icon, we have similar hair, though that’s where our similarities end. I know that nobody has it all, but you seem to be doing pretty well at least making it look like that. Sometimes life is a bit of a kangaroo court, isn’t it, I think I need someone who can recognise a kangaroo court when they see one. Someone who can restore justice and hope in my life.

Thanks for reading this,

Allegra Bird

PS I am sending a replica of this letter to Lake Como, the UN, Columbia University, Doughty Street Chambers and your house in Sonning Eye in the hope that you will receive at least one. I hope you won’t consider me a stalker. Lol.

PPS this is more about just being inspired by people, the idea is that we’d have to spend time together so that you can directly influence me so I’m available for regular Skype or Zoom calls.

I have one hour left on the train.

Dear Katie Taylor,

Hi, my name is Allegra Bird and I’m from Valentia Island in County Kerry, Ireland. I’ve watched all of your fights, or most of them, and me and Pops even saw you win in the Summer Olympics in London in 2012, when you defeated Sofya Ochigava to win gold for Ireland and become the first-ever female lightweight Olympic champion. Wow what a moment, me and Pops went mental.

I’m writing to you in the hope that you could become a mentor of sorts. Not in boxing but as a person. I know you’re incredibly busy training and competing, but it would be an honour if you could become one of my five people who influences me and shapes who I am.

I’m looking for people in different areas of life to help me become the person I should be and you most certainly tick the sports box! If we could meet a few times that would be great, or else a letter with words of advice and guidance will do too (preferably a few letters or Skype or Zoom because the idea is that we need to spend time together). It doesn’t have to be sports-related, words of advice for general living would be much appreciated. My mailing address and email address are at the bottom of the page.

Yours in admiration,

Allegra Bird

I finish my final letter just as the train pulls into Connolly station.

Dear Minister Ruth Brasil

My name is Allegra Bird, I’m twenty-four years old. I’m from Valentia Island. I’m sending this letter to your constituency office, your office in Government Buildings and to your holiday home in Kenmare Bay. I’m also sending this to my aunt, Pauline Moran, who lives in Waterville and owns the Mussel House at Ballymacuddy pier. She tells me that you call in from time to time during the summer when you’re sailing with your husband and that the steamed mussels in white wine and garlic are your favourite.

I’m not from a political family, there’s a by-election on in a few weeks but as I’ve already been home for Easter, I can’t afford to take more holidays. And no offence but travelling home to vote in a by-election doesn’t sound like much of a break. But I’m an admirer of yours. I was delighted when the Taoiseach appointed you the Minister of Justice and Equality. I wanted to join the Gardaí when I left school and would have been proud to have you as my leader, overseeing law and order in Ireland. I like listening to you speaking and find you strong and firm but fair. I also think you’re a compassionate person and must be because of your family law practice that you ran for so many years. I think you’d make a very fair judge.