Fractured Freedom(77)

I nodded quickly, my emotions welling up in my throat too fast to think of anything other than getting out of that room.

I rushed to the adjoining door and pushed through it as I heard Dante call after me.

I didn’t stop in my bedroom at all. I beelined to the shower and peeled my clothes off as I turned on the water, cranking it as hot as it would go.

Scalding off my love for him was the only way I could think of to rid myself of it. If my sister loved him, I couldn’t.

His happy ending could be here in an instant, and they would fit together like yin and yang.

To me, it all made sense.

I cried and watched my tears mix with the water drops for as long as the water was hot. I let it wash over my shoulders after it turned cold too, cooling the heat on my skin and in my soul.

I grabbed a bright-red crop top and shorts, ones I’d been so comfortable in a week ago, and winced when they reminded me somewhat of Izzy’s style. Maybe Dante had seen a new me here that wasn’t really me at all … and maybe she was what he really wanted. He could love her.

I jumped when I heard the knock at my adjoining door.

“Jesus,” I whispered, and then I was up against it immediately, ready to barricade it if I needed to. “I need to talk to her first, Dante. I can’t see you right now.”

I heard a sigh.

Then my cell pinged, and when I saw his name, my fists clenched, not sure I could take any of his words. Still, I grabbed it like it was my last bubble of oxygen down in the deep ocean.

Dante: Lamb, why do you think I knocked instead of barging in. I’m hanging by a thread though.

Me: I need some time.

Dante: I should barge in there and fuck you until you understand.

Me: I’ll understand once I talk to her. Once this is over.

Dante: As long as it doesn’t mean we’re over.





I didn’t answer him. The fear of that was real, tangible, and what hurt most was that it was also probably best.

I went to her room shortly after. I’d heard her leave Dante’s room after listening as best I could through the thick walls. The murmurs between them told me they worked comfortably together, that they had things to talk about, that their relationship was already prepped for more. When I heard his door swing shut, I knew she’d left.

I’d known that always, but to see it on her face, to see how she looked at him now … that was the blow that I hadn’t seen coming.

Still, I walked to her room, ready to confess everything because Izzy wasn’t stupid. I’d watched how she’d absorbed what she saw in Dante’s room.

My belongings were there, scattered around like the pieces of my heart. What was left of it.

I knocked on her door twice, and she opened before I hit the third time.

She waved me in with no words. Her room was smaller than mine and bare. She plopped herself down at the tiny oak table, and I joined her.

“So?” Her hands were folded in front of her. “Seems we have a lot of catching up to do.”

I nodded and combed my hands through my hair. “Not much on my end other than working and living here, waiting for you two to tie up whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Dante said he told you just about everything. You know I’m undercover trying to bust a big drug operation. Iago should let me know when soon, then I’ll be able to get him.” Her stare was far-off for a second. “Finally. Him and his boss, Lilah. We’re fucking close. The jail—”

“Was shitty.” I stopped her because I needed her to know she wasn’t off the hook. “You used me.”

“In my defense, mom really did want to see you and us traveling together attracted less attention. I didn’t know we were going to get caught, but it was the best thing that could have happened. I made some connections in there, and now we’ll get him. They don’t suspect a damn thing. I mean, some of them did … but Dante and Cade were able to clean up a few loose ends.”

“Ends or people?” I whispered as I lifted a brow at her. It hurt that he was probably sharing all this with her and not me, that I was in love with a man who shared more of his life with my sister than he did with me.

“You realize that’s Dante’s job, right?” She chewed on her cheek before facing the issue head-on—not like she would have done in the past when she was using. She would have avoided it for weeks and weeks. “If you’re sleeping with him, you should know that, Lilah.”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now. First, you.” I pointed at her. “Mom and Dad and our brothers, Izzy. They’re all so scared for you. I was scared for you. And all this time, you embraced that lie for a job.”

“For my life, Lilah. There’s a difference.” She sat back like she couldn’t believe me not understanding. “If I can’t do this, what good am I? Don’t you get that?”

“But you were gone. Our family’s hurting. I’m hurting, trying to defend your fake lifestyle and your sobriety.”

She picked at a nonexistent chip in the table and didn’t look at me when she said, “You were always the strong one, Lilah. You were strong enough to deal with my shit even when I wasn’t. You figured out how to get over my addiction and then believed in me right when I got out of juvie. Even when I didn’t believe in myself. You were strong enough to deal with this too.”