Forced Bonds (The Bonds That Tie, #4)(64)

I shake my head. “I don't want to go back to sleep, but I'm okay now.”

“You're definitely not okay,” Atlas grumbles, but North stands up with me still in his arms as though I weigh nothing and carries me back to the bed.

When he realizes there is a wet spot where I had been lying, my sweat soaking through my clothes and drenching the sheets underneath me, he makes an unhappy noise and hands me off to Atlas with directions to sit down while he fixes the situation. I don't really care about some sweaty sheets, but North has always been very particular about the ways that he fusses over me. I already know that if I don't get up and change my pajamas myself, he's just going to do it for me once he's done with the linen.

Atlas follows me into the closet and helps me into some dry, clean clothes when it's clear that my limbs are shaking too much still to be of much use. Then he holds me up as I brush my teeth in the bathroom. Gabe comes in with a bottle of water from the kitchen and hands it to me as soon as I'm done with my teeth.

It’s the first time I’ve really seen them all working together on something solely for me, something that makes me feel as though I’m the center of their worlds the same way that they’re all the center of mine.

I start to tremble all over again.

When I hand the water back to Gabe with a shaky smile, he cups my cheeks with one of his big hands, a frown over his face. “You don't remember any of it at all?”

I shake my head, and the two of them share a look in the mirror.

My stomach drops. “What? You both think I'm going crazy, don't you?”

Gabe frowns at me and cups my cheek again, pulling me back into his chest for a hug as his thumb traces my cheek.

I feel a little better having had a physical connection with all three of them, and I know that if I could touch Gryphon and Nox as well, I would probably be fine to go back to sleep again.

Not that Nox would let me.

My heart does a weird thump in my chest before it races again, the panic coming back. I purposefully direct my thoughts away from my Bonded who still would rather not be near me, not needing anything else to upset me right now while I’m so fragile, for no apparent reason.

“Do you know what your third Gift is?” Gabe murmurs out of nowhere, and I glance back up at him.

“Yes. Why?”

He looks a little rueful, but Atlas answers me nonetheless. “Your mom dreamt of things to come. We were both worried that you were going to say no, and we were about to be forced into a whole new search for information about what that Gift could possibly be. You have to agree that we’re kind of at our max for that sort of shit at the moment, Sweetness.”

I don't want to talk about my third Gift.

I shake my head. “I’ve never had a dream like that before. I've had nightmares, plenty after I left the Resistance, but I always knew what I dreamt of. It's like there's nothing in my head.”

They share another look, and I try not to feel irritated at either of them, I've clearly rattled them both this morning. I can't blame them for the friendship that they’ve struck up. “Just say it, whatever it is. I don't need the two of you tiptoeing around me.”

Gabe pulls away from me and looks down at me. “Well, Sage couldn't remember a single thing about the asshole who got into her head and forced her to kill Dara. What if someone was trying to get into your head? Maybe your bond got them out, and it woke you up.”

Shit.

Well, Goddamn.

I sigh and walk back into the bedroom right as North is bundling up the dirty linens and heading into the bathroom to leave them in the laundry hamper in there. We must have some sort of cleaning service that I’m blissfully unaware of, because the hamper is always magically empty in the afternoon when I get back here, but I've yet to see any of the guys point out where the laundry is.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and shut my eyes to check in with my bond, hopeful, but not really expecting any clear answers.

Did someone try to get into our head last night?

It takes a second to answer me. No.

Do you know what I dreamt about?

Yes.

I want to scream. Is there any chance of you being even slightly helpful to me right now and telling me what is going on so that we don't end up on some useless mission for no reason?

You ventured into one of your Bonded’s heads… the ‘astral projection’ as the Dark Bonded One called it. You ventured into his head, and I'm making sure that you don't remember what you saw there. I'm respecting a Bonded’s wishes.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I know exactly what happened, and there's no way I can tell Atlas or Gabe about it, not without a whole lot of fallout and arguing.

I keep my eyes closed so that neither of them realize what I'm doing, but I reach out to North by myself. My bond said I projected into Nox’s head accidentally while I was sleeping. I saw something there, and she is keeping it from me so that he doesn't get upset about it.

North walks back into the bedroom with a furious look on his face, but it isn't directed at me. I already know without a word between us that it's more about whatever it is that happened to his brother than it is about me overstepping.

He directs a stern look at Gabe and Atlas. “You two can go down to the Tac Training Center. Gryphon was going to let you sleep in, but if you're awake, you might as well get back to training.”