Forced Bonds (The Bonds That Tie, #4)(19)

North had offered to give me August as well, but I could tell from the strain in his voice that he was unsure of how he would manage having his shadow that far away from him. I already know that he doesn't have the same sort of control over them as his brother does, and I didn't want anything to happen to him or August, and I definitely didn't want him pulling the pin on the mission just because his connection with August was broken.

“It's a three-hour hike from here if we're making good time,” Gryphon says and I nod, adjusting the backpack a little and tightening the straps until it feels more secure on my back.

I am nothing if not excellent at ignoring pain and suffering. Now that my body has taken a moment to adjust to the weight, I'm not so concerned about how heavy it really is. I’ll take it, and I’ll do it without complaint.

Nox looks around the wooded area as his shadows begin to move ahead of us, scouting and being an extra set of eyes. Gryphon can sense people and hear their thoughts from a few miles away as well, so I don't feel the need to call on my bond yet.

“With any luck, you won't have to call on your bond at all,” Gryphon mutters softly, taking the lead and moving remarkably quietly through the underbrush. I try to mimic his movements, but I sound as though an elephant is stomping through by comparison.

Nox takes up the rear without a word.

It makes me a little bit uncomfortable how quiet he's being, but his bad attitude earlier was mostly directed at North and not us, so I let it go. We spend the first hour in relative silence, mostly just the sound of my breathing and stomping to be heard, but I'm also not sure if it's just extra loud to me because I'm trying so hard to be silent.

Brutus bounds around next to me, happy and sweet in his puppy way, and I find that the other shadows are happy to ignore us both entirely. There are two shadow creatures that walk beside Nox the entire time, both of them looking fully grown. Even though they’re shadow creatures and don't actually use any energy to hike along with us, their tongues loll out of their heads as they pant, showing off jaws filled with razor-sharp teeth that I know for a fact can consume fully grown men without concern. It would be threatening if it wasn’t so damn cute.

Another creature walks beside Gryphon, but it acts as though he doesn't exist, sniffing at the ground with its ears pricked up as though it’s chasing some mesmerizing scent.

Naturally, it’s only after I become super focused on my breathing and making sure that I am pacing myself nicely against Gryphon's much longer stride and just generally kicking ass on this hike, that Nox decides to mess with my peace.

“What exactly are you gonna do if the girl is a spy? She should really get the same treatment as any other member of the Resistance, once we confirm she killed the Shield.”

I stumble over my feet a little bit, mostly startled at his voice cutting through the quiet of the woodlands, but he takes it as a small sign of weakness and doubles down. “Is there a reason your bond didn't notice? Or has it been speaking to you about her this entire time and you've been ignoring it?”

I hear Gryphon sigh, but he doesn't attempt to intervene, which I can appreciate. I have spoken to North a few times about leaving the two of us alone and letting us work on our issues ourselves, but I'm sure that Nox’s shitty attitude has come from his brother meddling.

I take a deep breath, that I'm proud to say is only a little unsteady, before I reply with pure honesty bleeding right out of me, which I’m sure he won’t even notice or appreciate. “You've heard my bond speak about her before, and you know it likes her. It likes Kieran, and it likes Felix. I genuinely don't think that she is a member of the Resistance… And the thing I've struggled with most over the last couple of days is the thought of what I will have to do if it is proved that she's a spy. I don't think anyone should get special treatment in that situation, and it kills me to think that way when it comes to my best friend. But I have also seen the Resistance torture and kill children. I have seen Silas Davies carve people up, and everyone in that camp knew what he was doing. Every single one of them were complicit in his actions. There is no such thing as an innocent member of the Resistance.”

I swallow down the emotion that comes with admitting any of that, and Gryphon floods my mind with warmth and comfort. Thankfully, nothing was obvious to Nox, but it gets my knees steadying back up, thank God.

I hear Nox snort behind me and then he snaps, “Bassinger was born into the Resistance. I don't see you feeling the same way about him.”

I should have known that this argument was coming, but I already have an answer to it, thanks to the questioning I have had from North and Gryphon.

My voice is strong as I snap back, “He was born into a family of the Resistance. He was born into their indoctrination and still chose not to go along with what they believe in. While he might say that he has only switched sides because of me, I saw the look of horror on his face when he saw the children that his father had killed on that screen. He's not a member of the Resistance, and he does not agree with what they do. He helped us take down his own sister! I don't have any doubts about him. If you do, then that's your own issue, because logic says that he's on the right side of this.”

I watch as Gryphon nods his head in front of me, and his presence slips slowly away from my mind now that I’ve found my fire again. Whatever happened between him and Atlas while I was in North's office, it's helped his perception of my other Bonded. I know that they went to see Aurelia, and I feel bad that I haven't had the chance to speak with Atlas about it yet. I'm sure that that was an incredibly difficult thing to do, no matter what I just said to Nox. I know that it was incredibly difficult for Atlas to not only see his sister in those camps where they had kept and tortured me, but to watch them take her in as well? It wasn’t easy for him.