Flawless Surrender (The Surrender Trilogy, #2)(33)

Shoving her chair back, she gave Clint a shaky smile, “Thank you, Clint, for cooking dinner tonight. I really appreciate it, but I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

She didn’t wait for a response. She just grabbed her wine glass, and made a beeline for her room. There was nothing more to say. Tanner wanted her, but only if he could have her in secret, and it killed her to think that he might be ashamed to be with her. Sure, she was the daughter of the town’s biggest junkies, but she figured she had overcome the judging and horrific pitying assumptions.

After all, she had gone to college. She had gotten her goddamn master’s degree for fu-ck’s sake. Just who the hell did he think he was? She was absolutely good enough for him. In fact, she was too good for him. Her spine stiffened as she resolved to stop caring so much what Tanner thought. It seemed like she just continued to let him hurt her over and over again until she was nothing but a self-conscious mess.

Well, no more. She was done feeling sorry for herself, and letting someone make her feel less than adequate. If Tanner didn’t see her worth, then perhaps Dalton or Clint would, and she couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he realized she had made her choice.

Throwing herself on her bed and scooping up her book, she refused to let the tears fall for Tanner again. Too many times had she let him make her feel small. This time, she was going to overcome those doubts, no matter what.

An hour later she was engrossed in a BDSM story, and she had completely relaxed, letting go of her tension. Her heart lurched when someone knocked sharply on the bedroom door.

She hesitated a moment, and then set her book aside to answer it. To her surprise Tanner stood in the hallway with a plate full of food in one hand and her rose in the other.

“Tanner?”

His golden eyes looked wary, but he stood tall under her scrutiny. “I came bearing gifts, and an apology.”

The reminder burned and she crossed her arms over her chest. “No thank you.”

“Zoey, please. Let me come in for a minute and say my piece.” She couldn’t remember Tanner asking so sweetly for anything before, and indecision welled up in her chest. “I know I hurt you, but I didn’t do it intentionally. I want a chance to make it right.”

Pushing the door open, she stepped out of the way and let him into the bedroom. He put the plate and rose on the bedside table, and then took a seat on the bed. She saw him take note of her reading material and swallow hard. His whole body seemed to tense as he reached out and picked up her open book. Refusing to cower or be embarrassed of her choice in novels, she tried to assume an air of indifference as she took a seat next to him and retrieved it from his hands.

“You wanted to talk, so talk.”

For just a moment, she saw heat in his eyes before he put it aside and reached for her hand. “I’m not ashamed of you, Zoey. I know that’s what you thought, but it’s not true. I’m ashamed that I took advantage of your situation.”

“Took advantage—” Her temper flared, but Tanner pressed a finger to her lips stopping her from blowing up.

“You’re in my house because you needed help. Not because you wanted to be accosted every waking minute. My temper got the best of me the other day, and when you asked me to kiss you, well, I didn’t use good judgment. I had hoped that you would be able to put it aside and forgive me, but when you brought it up tonight I knew that I had hurt you.”

Zoey stared at him in confusion. “You didn’t want to kiss me? What was all of that crap in the truck about wanting to fu-ck me?”

For the first time ever Tanner’s head dropped and he didn’t look her in the eye. She tried to tell herself the uncomfortable twinge in her heart region was just a belly ache from lack of dinner, but the longer he was quiet, the more painful it got. Reaching out a hand, she placed it on his thick thigh in a silent attempt to encourage him. He stared down at it for a moment before he placed his big hand on top of hers and laced their fingers together.

“I’m not good enough for you, baby. As much as I want to be, it just can’t happen that way.” His voice was quieter than usual, and her mouth dropped open in shock.

“You’re not good enough? You’re not good enough? For me? Have you fallen off your horse recently, cowboy?” Caught between being confused, pissed, and elated, she struggled to find the right words. “Tanner Keegan, I have wanted you since I was a teenager. Back when I was skinny, pimply, and awkward. But every time I have offered, you have slapped me down. Now you’re trying to get me to buy that it’s because you honestly believe you aren’t good enough? Who the fu-ck is going to be good enough for me, Tanner? Do you think I’m so shallow that I need a millionaire, or a movie star?”

“Hey, I’ll be your movie star!” Clint’s voice piped up, and Zoey fought to keep from grinning at him as he leaned against the door jam.

“I’m not a millionaire, but at least I wouldn’t reject you, pretty lady.” Dalton appeared behind Clint, and Zoey rolled her eyes at the pair of them.

“Can’t you two give us a few minutes of privacy?” Tanner snapped, glaring at his younger brothers.

Dalton shook his head, “Nope, not when it involves all of us, and someone we care about. We’re all four going to have to talk it out if this relationship is going to work.”

If Zoey hadn’t already been sitting, she would have dropped to the floor in shock. “Relationship? What are you talking about?”