Finale (Caraval #3)(99)

“Then Legend will live the rest of his immortal life in a cage. Do you want to save Legend and the empire, or yourself?” Jacks flashed his dimples, giving Tella a playful smile.

“You’re mad,” said Julian.

“Don’t do this,” said Scarlett.

But both of their objections sounded reedy and dull compared to the ringing in Tella’s ears. Because Jacks wasn’t mad; despite her words, she knew he wasn’t delusional. He was determined and willing to do whatever it took to get what he wanted, and unfortunately, he wanted her.

“If you do this,” Tella said slowly, “I will hate you forever.”

“No, my love. If I do this, you’ll finally stop hating me.” Jacks’s smile vanished and for a moment he looked like pure desolation, a shell of a person with hollowed cheeks, fractured eyes, and bloodstains on his chest. He was an immortal who couldn’t die but who could never fully live, because the things he wanted to consume were devouring him instead. Tella imagined wanting someone without loving them was like an endless hunger—even if you managed to hold the person you wanted in your grasp it would never be enough, and letting them go would be even worse.

She should have known that things between them couldn’t be severed with the slice of a blade. Or perhaps that cut had led to this. Maybe Jacks had let her end their marriage because their bond had made him care for her in a genuine way, which went beyond his immortal feelings of obsession, fixation, lust, and possession. But now that their connection was severed, all that remained were his selfish impulses.

Mistress Luck had warned her that if Jacks didn’t love her, his obsession with her would destroy her. If Tella said yes, that was exactly what would happen. If Jacks controlled her emotions, she would only feel things that gave him pleasure or worked to slake his unquenchable thirst for her.

Tella desperately wanted to believe there was another way, but she couldn’t think of one. And as she looked around the room all she could see was the damage Gavriel had inflicted. Julian in his metal half-mask. The Maiden Death in her cage of pearls. The Lady Prisoner kept like a human pet. Then she pictured Legend, trapped in a cage far less lovely than the Lady Prisoner’s, wearing a mask like Julian’s while the Fallen Star showed him off to his friends, forever.

Tella took a shuddering breath. Legend was supposed to spend forever with her, not trapped inside of a cage, and even though that was never going to occur, she still couldn’t let this happen. She couldn’t let Legend be trapped for eternity, and she couldn’t be the reason that they failed to kill the Fallen Star. She might have first wanted to destroy him because of her mother, but it was about far more than that now.

She hated it, but Jacks was right—without his help she’d never get close enough to kill the Fallen Star.

“Tella,” Scarlett said, “you don’t have to do this.”

“Yes … I think I do.”

“My brother wouldn’t want this,” Julian said. “We’ll figure out another way.”

“We’ve been trying, and it hasn’t worked. The Fallen Star is the emperor, you’re in a mask, and Legend is in a cage. He definitely wouldn’t want me to do this,” Tella said. In fact, he’d probably be furious at her for it. “But I know he would do this for me if the situation were reversed.” He’d saved her from the cards, he’d saved her from Jacks, and now it was finally Tella’s turn to save him. She turned back to Jacks. “What do you need from me?”

“Wait—” Scarlett protested.

“Don’t try to stop them,” the Assassin said. “You wouldn’t like that outcome.”

There was another tiny scratch and then the hooded Assassin was taking Scarlett’s hand. An instant later they were both gone.

Jacks shuddered. “I forgot how creepy that always was.”

“You’re not one to judge what’s creepy,” Tella said.

“You’ll change your mind about that soon. Now, if you wouldn’t mind giving us some privacy.” His eyes cut to Julian and the Maiden Death.

Julian looked as if he wanted to argue. But the Maiden Death helped him from the room, leaving Jacks and Tella mostly alone.

Jacks had moved closer, to lean against the marble column opposite Tella.

She shoved off the bed but didn’t take another step, knowing this might be her last moment to consciously make the choice to stay away from him. Tella was so ruled by her feelings, she didn’t know how real her future choices would be once Jacks manipulated her emotions. “Do we need to cut our hands again?”

He looked intrigued by the idea, but then he shook his head. “I was only at half power when I changed your emotions before. I needed a strong physical connection to make the exchange work. I don’t now that Legend’s given me my full powers back. But because of the vow I made him, I do need your permission.”

“You have it. But—but—but—” There was something else she was going to say, only suddenly Tella couldn’t remember exactly what they’d been talking about. Her head felt light, and a little dizzy, as if she’d just drunk half a bottle of wine.

Cool arms wrapped around her as she started to sway. Jacks’s arms. His fingers were cold, perhaps a little too cold, and yet the gooseflesh they sent across her skin had never felt so wonderful.