Finale (Caraval #3)(93)
“I can’t do that.” Scarlett’s voice shook with every word. And it wasn’t just because every part of her being was repelled by the idea of making Julian despise her. “I can’t control emotions.”
“Then he will die,” Gavriel said reasonably. “And if I feel you attempt to shift my feelings in any way, I will set this entire room on fire and kill every human inside.”
Scarlett took a fragile breath as her eyes darted around all the helpless people in the room. Half were watching her now. The rest were turned toward Julian, tied up like a puppet on the stage. And still the colors around him were fierce and bright and full of the deep, unending crimson love. She’d never felt so much love in her life. It was pure and unselfish, without fear or regret. All he wanted in that moment was for her to be safe.
And she had to take all those feelings away for him to live.
Scarlett could have cried. She looked at him and mouthed the words I love you, knowing she might never say and truly mean those words again. If she succeeded in conquering her powers, she wouldn’t just be taking away Julian’s ability to love her. She’d finally become one of her father’s Fates and lose her own capacity to love.
So, before she tried to erase Julian’s love, she let herself feel it one final time. She let her love out to touch his, the way two separate instruments might play together to create a more beautiful song, and suddenly Scarlett knew how to change what Julian was feeling—how to shift his song so that it no longer matched hers.
Before, she’d always tried to project a feeling or an image onto another person. But what she needed to do was to push against his feelings. She needed to reach with her magic and twist them until their colors began to shift and shift and shift and—
“No!” Julian thrashed against the strings holding him to the stage. He might not have heard the Fallen Star’s instructions, but he knew the Fate’s ultimate goal for Scarlett. Julian knew this assault against his emotions was because of her magic—magic he’d warned her against. “Don’t do this, Crimson!”
The Fallen Star clapped and sparks shot out from the tips of his fingers.
On the stage, tears tracked down Julian’s cheeks. He was fighting her, battling her powers with everything he had. But even his fighting was helping her magic win. She could see his love shifting to anger.
Scarlett started to shake.
The Fallen Star grabbed hold of her again to keep her from falling off the arm of the throne. She didn’t know if it was from battling Julian, or if it was because she’d finally accessed her full powers, but her body no longer felt under her control.
She could feel the magic she was using, filling her and surrounding her the way her love for Julian had moments ago. It was heady and powerful. Without even trying, she could see more than just Julian’s emotions. Scarlett saw colors across the room. The eager green of several Fates danced around a rainbow of terrified and morbidly curious human colors, and she knew that if she wanted to, she could twist them all with a thought. It was wondrous in all the wrong ways. Every inch of her skin prickled. When she briefly glanced down, her skin was glowing and shining with gold dust—and Fated magic.
“Finally.” The Fallen Star tightened his grip on her arm. “You’re almost there, auhtara.”
Julian screamed again. “Don’t do this, Scarlett!”
The name sounded wrong. He never called her Scarlett. But the name didn’t hurt as much as it should have.
“You’re close,” the Fallen Star said. “Let go of your feelings for him and take hold of the rest of your power!”
Scarlett pushed harder and Julian’s face turned into a snarl. She could see the edges of his emotions turning brown, the way something does after it’s been burned.
Julian bucked against his bindings. “You lied, Scarlett! You said you would always choose me.” His feverish eyes met hers, but for once there was no warmth in them.
She wasn’t saving him. She was destroying him.
Her magic faltered.
She couldn’t do it.
Anissa had said over and over that Scarlett needed to become what the Fallen Star wanted most to defeat him, but the Fate had betrayed her. And Scarlett knew that even if this was the only way to best her father, it was too much of a betrayal to everything she believed in. If she let Gavriel push her into doing this, how much further would he be able to push her once her love was gone and she was a Fate? Would Gavriel threaten to kill Julian again if she refused to take away Gavriel’s ability to love? And would she be able to resist him—would she even want to?
Scarlett leaned into her magic once more and untwisted Julian’s emotions, freeing them until they were no longer tangled and knotted and hateful.
He stopped thrashing and his head sagged, but he still managed to look at her with the most beautiful brown eyes she’d ever seen. They were glassy and red—he was still in pain, but he was also still in love with her.
The Fallen Star squeezed Scarlett’s arm, making blisters break out over the skin that he’d already burned, but it wasn’t enough to change her mind. He could scorch her, torture her, put her in a cage again, but he could never make her hurt Julian.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
Scarlett smiled for the crowd, as if this were part of the show he’d forced her to put on, but she kept her voice low, knowing that defying him publicly could earn Julian a very swift death. “I’m making a new deal. If you want my powers, I will give them to you, but not like this. He goes free right now, or you get nothing from me.”