Finale (Caraval #3)(84)
“I don’t deserve you.” His hands lowered to her calves, bunching the fabric of her dress up toward her thighs.
“Yes, you do,” she whispered. She could barely remember how to breathe. His movements were confident and intentional. He knew where to touch and what to do.
But when he dared a glance at her eyes, he looked terrified. “Tella, I don’t want you to do this because you feel pressured.”
“I’m not sure which part of this you’re talking about. But I came to you. I don’t feel anything except how much I want to be with you. I gave you my heart when you kissed me at the fountain, and I’ve never taken it back. I love you, Legend.”
His body froze above hers.
Damn the saints! She cursed herself as well for letting the words slip out.
Before she could respond, he was off the bed and halfway across the room. “We have to stop,” he said jaggedly. “We can’t do this, and I can’t change you.”
“Why not? Because of what I said? I wanted you to know how much I want this.”
“It’s not only that.” His chest moved up and down with a deep breath. “You deserve better, Tella.”
No. He couldn’t let her go again. He couldn’t walk away again, but she could see he was already preparing to. The white lights in the room were growing dim, getting ready to disappear, just like the stars had the last time he’d ended a conversation by leaving. “Don’t you dare do this. I know what I want, and I want you.”
“You might not if you let me change you.” His low voice was barely a whisper. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he looked more like the shadow painted on his wall than the Legend she loved. “You should go. I’m not selfless or altruistic. I always find a way to get the things that I want. Right now, I’m only able to do this because no one has ever looked at me the way you did when you said those words now and—you deserve to have someone who will look at you that way. You deserve someone who can love you, someone really worth living for, rather than an immortal who only wants to possess you.”
46
Scarlett
The moon had dissolved and the stars had fled to watch over another part of the world, leaving Valenda’s night sky a flat, inky black. The only spots of bright came from a few glowing windows lit by burning lamps and candles like the ones blazing inside of Scarlett’s Menagerie suite, where she panted in front of the Lady Prisoner’s gilded cage.
Scarlett’s brow was drenched in sweat that she couldn’t fully wipe away because of the ruby bars trapping her head. The gemstone globe had grown even heavier over the last few hours as she tried and failed, again and again and again, to alter the angry emotions of the young woman Gavriel had brought to her.
Scarlett needed to do this. If she could control the feelings of this woman, then she could control the feelings of the Fallen Star and stop him before he took the throne in less than one day.
But despite her best efforts, Scarlett couldn’t do anything beyond reading the young woman’s feelings. Scarlett could see her rage and anger cascading down her straight back like a fiery cape. Scarlett imagined getting burned by it if she dared step too close. The woman sat on the marble bench that rested next to the Lady Prisoner’s cage, and hadn’t moved from there since the moment the Fallen Star left.
Scarlett had felt relief at first. She’d expected the young woman to attack her, after the way she’d bitten Gavriel’s fingers. Instead she’d chosen to sit as perfect as a model for a portrait until she moved to take her long black gloves off with her teeth.
Her arms were covered in scrolling tattoos of faded black roses and vines that ended in two damaged hands, covered in fresh stitches. The woman’s fingers had been removed, and from the sight of the stitching, it looked as if it had just been done.
Scarlett reared back. This must have been how he’d disciplined the woman for misbehaving earlier. Was this how the Fallen Star planned to punish Scarlett this time if she failed?
Scarlett tried speaking to the young woman, but she never uttered a word. After a couple of hours, the woman rested her cheek against her stubby palm, feigning boredom. It might have been believable if not for the fiery emotions she still wore like a destructive mantle.
Scarlett tried to calm her by channeling soothing thoughts. When that didn’t work she tried to project images and emotions that might make the young woman feel drowsy, excited, sad, or happy.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
“I can’t do this,” Scarlett finally said. She had tried to push every emotion on this woman, but instead of making her feel, it only drained Scarlett. She could barely hold her caged head up, and she couldn’t even think about what would happen when the Fallen Star returned; she didn’t want to find out how he would punish her for this failure.
It was time to leave. Scarlett was feeling the sort of bone-deep exhaustion that told her dawn was getting closer. The Fallen Star could come back any moment and discover she had not succeeded. Scarlett needed to use the Reverie Key and get out of there. She’d thought too highly of herself to imagine that if she stayed here long enough she could defeat him, rather than the other way around. She hated the idea of Tella and Julian seeing her caged, but she needed to return to them so they could come up with another plan.