Fat Tuesday(53)

"It's not bullshit. After Kev died, my heart just wasn't in it anymore."

"You hated it when I got bumped up to detective sergeant and took over leadership of his squad, didn't you? No, don't say anything," Mac said when he saw that Burke was about to object."I know you didn't like it.

I understood how it was between you and Kev Stuart."

"You make it sound like we were lovers or something."

Mac snuffled a laugh."I know better than that. But I also know how hard you took it when he died."

Burke couldn't think of a suitable response, so he said nothing.

He wasn't going to discuss his innermost feelings with Mac, first because his sentiments were nobody else's business and, second, because he didn't entirely trust Mac.

He had no specific reason to mistrust him. He just had a gut feeling that Mac's flashiness and amiability concealed a darker, more sinister aspect of his personality. Until Burke could identify that character flaw, he would remain wary of Mac.

Mac continued: "What I'm saying is, I don't think that what happened to Stuart is a reason for you to quit."

"That wasn't all of it."

"I know about the split with your wife."

"News travels fast."

"Especially when it's about a legend."

Burke cursed."That's the second time tonight I've heard that crap Keep it up and it's going to piss me off. I'm no f*cking legend."

Mac chuckled, but his laughter didn't quite ring true. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees and focusing on the fiery tip of his cigar."Was Kev the one, Burke?"

"The one what?"

Mac lifted his gaze and gave him a direct look."The leak in our division."

If Mac had offered him the alluring Toni for a night of amorous frolic, he couldn't have been more stunned. Then his shock turned to anger.

"Is that what you think?" "I don't think it, no," Mac said."It's just that people talk."

"What people?" "You know," he said, lifting his shoulders."People. Within the division. And I.A. has been asking questions, too."

Internal Affairs was asking questions? Did that mean that the probe l he had campaigned for had finally come about? He'd raised the hackles of everybody from Doug Pat right on up to the commissioner by insisting that a covert investigation be conducted within the department until the mole was exposed and eliminated. What an irony it would be if they suspected Kev.

"Some guys, not me," Mac clarified quickly."But some guys have speculated that maybe you discovered Kev's treachery and, when the opportunity presented itself, you popped him and dropped him. Is that the way it went down?" "No," Burke said tersely.

"Or ..."

When the other man stalled, Burke pressed him."Come on, Mac. What else are they speculating?"

"That it was you." Burke showed none of what he was feeling, but Mac must have felt the heat emanating from him and feared an eruption of outrage because he spoke now in a breathless rush: "Well, look at it from their standpoint, Basile. We pulled down a hell of a raid the other night."

"I read about it. Congratulations."

"So it looks " "Mighty suspicious that things start turning around in the division's favor the minute I got out."

"It would look a hell of a lot better if you'd come back."

"Not a chance." "Then tell me they're wrong," Mac said, raising his voice to an argumentative level.

"I never asked to be your goddamn idol, Mac. I didn't ask to be anybody's." "Who was selling us out?"

"I don't know, and I don't care," Burke lied.

"You may not know, but you care. You care a hell of a lot. I'd stake Toni's ass on that, and I'm very attached to her ass."

"With good reason." He tried to smile, but it didn't quite work, and Mac continued to glare at him, demanding an explanation.

"Okay, Mac, I care. I care because the son of a bitch got Kev killed.

But the harder I tried to root him out, the more unpopular I became around the N.O.P.D.

"After the business with Sachel, and Ray Hahn turning up dead, I reached a saturation point of disgust, thought Screw this," and got out.

I've breathed easier ever since and haven't regretted my decision."

Mac thoughtfully puffed his cigar."That's your official line.

Give it to me unofficially."

"Unofficially? When I find out who was working both sides, I'm going to kill him."

Burke and the younger officer exchanged a long stare. After a moment, some of the tension went out of Mac's broad shoulders."It makes me feel better to hear you admit it. How can I help?"

"No." Burke adamantly shook his head."Kev was my key man and my friend, and he died by my gun. It's my problem."

"Okay, I understand where you're coming from. But I don't think you can do it on your own, and it'll be much harder to do from the outside.

Come back to the department and work it from the inside."

"Can't do that."

"The time to resign is when everything is going right," Mac argued.