Family Money(11)
By the time we left Brownsville, Raul still had no real answers for me as to what had happened to Joe and why we’d never had the chance to pay a ransom. None of it made any sense to him or to his colleagues unless it truly was a tragic accident—a kidnapping effort gone horribly wrong. But Raul promised me he would continue to investigate and keep me updated with their progress. Then he gave me a homemade card his kids had made for my family to try to comfort us in our loss. It was a nice gesture.
We made the five-hour drive home in near silence—other than the sound of Beauty and the Beast playing on repeat on the drop-down TV for the girls. I kept looking over to Taylor, wanting to say something comforting, but I had no words. I was as numb as she was. None of this felt real. Two days ago, Joe had been sitting in the same passenger seat next to me. Now he was gone. I kept expecting to somehow snap out of this nightmare and find us all together again—like the trip had never happened. My mind was a mosh pit of shock, guilt, and sadness, and I could hardly put any thoughts together. It didn’t help that I hadn’t slept much at all the past two nights.
How would we all get through this?
Where did we even go from here as a family?
I finally pulled my Tahoe into our three-car garage around nine that evening and parked next to Taylor’s Lexus SUV. We had insisted that Carol stay with us for at least the first week back in Austin. While Taylor and my mother-in-law carried our sleepy girls inside the house, I unloaded all the luggage, including the ceramic white container with Joe’s ashes that I’d purchased at the funeral home. I wasn’t sure what to do with it, so I went into my home office and put it on my desk.
For a second, I just stared at the container. I kept reliving that moment in the village. I’d briefly hesitated when those men had grabbed Joe. If only I’d reacted more quickly, maybe I could have gotten to the minivan before they’d shut that door. Maybe I could have somehow stopped all this. But I did hesitate. And now I’d have to live with that harsh reality for the rest of my life.
I heard the pitter-patter of little feet running around upstairs. Olivia and Nicole had gotten fresh wind. They were probably excited to be back home with all their dolls and toys again. It would likely take us an hour to get them settled back down. That might’ve annoyed me prior to the trip, but I welcomed it right now. I needed to hear my girls having fun. I needed to feel that full life from them. In this moment, it was salve for a wound so deep, I doubted it would ever heal. I knew our girls’ laughter might be the only chance we all had at making it through this brutal next week.
When we finally did get Olivia and Nicole tucked into bed, they were both out within seconds. Although our new house had five bedrooms, the girls still wanted to share a room. So we put them in the biggest. Taylor and Carol had decorated their bedroom like it was a Disney exhibit. Both girls had their own princess beds with pink-and-purple canopies hanging from the ceiling filled with tiny white twinkle lights. Built-in white shelves went floor to ceiling on one side of the room and were crammed with more stuffed animals and dolls than I could count. A local artist had painted a full mural on the other side of the room that showed all the Disney princesses dancing along with our girls at a ball together. It was a little girl’s dream bedroom. I felt fortunate they could sleep in such a magical place on a night like tonight. Maybe it would protect them from nightmares about Papa no longer being with us.
I kissed them both on the forehead, left the bedroom, and went downstairs. The door to the guest bedroom was cracked open, so I took a quick peek inside to check on my mother-in-law. She had not yet changed into her sleepwear. She was still wearing her travel clothes and was just sitting in a cushioned chair in the corner, looking blankly out the window toward the front circular driveway. Her luggage was untouched on the bed where I’d left it earlier. I gently knocked on the bedroom door. Carol looked over at me.
“Do you need anything?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Just need to sit here for a quiet moment and gather my thoughts.”
“I understand.”
“Thank you for everything the past two days, Alex. I could not have managed any of this on my own.”
“I don’t want you to worry, Carol. I’ll take care of everything.”
“I know you will. Because you’re just like Joe.”
I swallowed. “Try to get some rest.”
“I will. Good night.”
It broke my heart to see Carol this way. I wanted to somehow lift her spirits and thought about Lizzie, her Yorkshire terrier. A neighborhood kid had been taking care of her dog all week at my in-laws’ house two blocks over. We’d originally discussed not getting Lizzie until the morning. However, seeing Carol so distraught made me want to change that plan. She loved that dog. So did my kids. They would all probably enjoy having her in our home when they woke up the next day.
I headed back to my bedroom to run it past Taylor, but she was already in bed with the lights out. I knew she was exhausted. So I crossed through the house, laced up my running shoes in the back hallway, opened a garage door, and took a late-night stroll in our neighborhood. Rollingwood, where we lived, was an affluent community of expensive homes set in a lush landscape just a couple of miles west of downtown proper. Our move into this neighborhood had made my commute to the office a quick ten minutes and allowed me to go back and forth from work during the day if there was something I wanted to do with the girls. That was a huge blessing because the drive to our previous home in South Austin had taken me thirty minutes each way. Living in this neighborhood gave our family easy access to the trails and parks around Lady Bird Lake—the beautiful stretch of the Colorado River that weaves through the heart of the city. Since we’d moved in six months ago, Taylor and I had been able to take our girls to several Broadway shows and concerts, and we were now regulars at various sporting events involving our alma mater, the University of Texas. The girls loved to dress up in their Longhorns cheerleader outfits every chance they could get.