Fallen Too Far (Too Far, #1)(57)

My gaze fell to her clenched fists at her sides. I hated seeing her like this. I ran my finger over her hand.

“If you can forgive me, I promise this will never happen again. I love Nan. But I’m done trying to please her. She’s my sister, but she has some issues she needs to work out. I’ve told her that I’m going to talk to you about everything. There are some things you need to know.” I hadn’t meant to say that, but I had to. I was going to lose her if I didn’t tell her now. I would tell her I loved her first. I wanted her to know that. “I’m dealing with the fact that you may walk away from me once you know them and never look back. It scares the hell out of me. I don’t know what this is that is going on between us, but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to change my world. I was terrified. The more I watched you, the more you drew me in. I couldn’t get close enough.”

“OK,” she said simply.

What did that mean? “OK?” I asked.

She nodded. “OK. If you actually want to keep me so badly that you’re willing to open up to me, then OK.”

A grin touched my lips. Damn, she always made me smile. “I just bared my soul to you, and all I get is an ‘OK’?” I asked.

“You said everything I needed to hear. I’m hooked now. You have me. What are you going to do with me?”

The relief that ran through me made my knees go weak. I had to keep my cool. I couldn’t scare her with my intensity. Hell, it scared me. “I’m thinking sex on the sixteenth hole by the lake would be nice.”

Blaire tilted her head to the side and acted like she was considering it. “Hmmm . . . problem is, I’m supposed to change and go work in the kitchen the rest of the night.”

Not what I wanted to hear. “Shit.”

She stepped closer to me and pressed a kiss to my jaw. “You have a sister to escort,” she said.

I wasn’t going to make it through tonight. “All I can think about is being inside you. Having you pressed close to me and hearing you make those sexy-ass little moans.”

Desire flickered in Blaire’s eyes as her pupils dilated.

I decided to keep talking, since she liked it. “If I could walk away from you easily, I’d take you into that office and press you up against the wall and bury myself deep inside. But I can’t have a quickie with you. You’re too damn addictive.”

Blaire’s hands were still on my shoulders. She squeezed them, and her breathing hitched.

“Go change. I’ll stand out here so I’m not tempted. Then I’ll walk you back to the kitchen,” I told her.

She took a deep breath, then stepped back and went in to change.

The temptation to go in there with her and make love to her before sending her back to work was hard to ignore. But she wanted to finish working tonight. It was important to her. I wanted to prove to her that what was important to her was important to me.

When she walked back out, she was wearing a clean cartgirl uniform and smiling at me.

“Sure you don’t want to take me back to the sixteenth hole? I promise I’ll be quick. Just let me lick your * until you come.”

Blaire trembled and let out a shaky breath. “Rush, don’t say that. I can’t. I have to go back to work, and I don’t want Jimmy wondering why I’m a jumble of nerves.”

Smiling, I reached for her hand and threaded my fingers through hers. “You clean up well,” I told her teasingly.

Blaire giggled. “I sure smell better now, too,” she said.

I tugged her over to my side and ducked my head to inhale her. “You always smell amazing, sweet Blaire.”

She leaned into me, and I moved my hand to tuck her beside me as I walked her back into the building and to the kitchen door.

“I’m gonna kiss you. I know you’re at work, but right now, I just don’t care. I need to taste you.” I leaned down to press my lips against hers. I licked her bottom lip, pulled it into my mouth and sucked, then let it go with a reluctant peck.

Blaire shot me one last grin before leaving me standing there without her.



Going through the motions and finishing the night had been hell. But I’d made it, and Nan seemed happy. She chatted on the way back to the house about a shopping trip she wanted to take with Paris and asked if I had talked to Mom lately.

When Nan had driven away I let out a sigh of relief and went inside the house. Blaire would be home soon, and I was still giving her that massage. She more than needed it now. She’d been going all damn day.

I walked through the kitchen on my way to the stairs. The empty bottle of beer and the wineglass sitting on the bar stopped me in my tracks. At that moment, the world felt like it had ceased spinning and I was moving in slow motion toward the glass.

Familiar red lipstick on the glass made my stomach turn. Fuck, no. Not yet. God, not yet. I needed tonight. Motherf*cker. I needed one more night. She wasn’t ready. I had to plan this. Shit!

I headed for the stairs and took them two at a time, needing to see for myself. As I walked down the hall, I saw that the door to my mother’s room was closed. They were in there. I knew they were. That door was normally open. I didn’t touch the door. I was afraid to see them. I was afraid they would destroy this. They would tell her everything and send her away from me.

No.

God, no.