Faking with Benefits : A Friends to Lovers Romance(42)

I take a deep breath through my nose. “Aye. She passed when we were both eighteen. The summer before I joined the team.”

Her hand tightens on me. “What happened?”

My throat goes dry. My insides clam up. For a second, I can’t speak at all.

Layla looks horrified. “Sorry. You don’t have to tell me.”

I shake my head. “It’s fine,” I rasp out. “She got sick. It was fast. Aggressive. She died a couple months after her diagnosis. They did everything to help her. Surgery, medicine. Nothing worked.” It feels like someone’s wrapped their hand around my throat. “I can’t talk about it, pet.”

“Okay,” Layla says.

I let out a breath, my chest easing. “She would’ve loved your bras,” I admit. “The middle-clasp ones. She had to get me to help her put hers on at the end, ‘cause her fingers were too weak. And her whole life was all hospital gowns, and catheters, and shit. She didn’t have anything pretty.”

Layla nods, her face serious. “Did you love her?”

“She was just… like a sunbeam.” That’s how Emily is in my memory. A small girl with brown skin and flowing dark hair, who just glows. The old pain rises up in my chest, but I press it back down automatically, like I always do. I can’t feel it. It would kill me.

“I’m sorry.” Layla bites her lip, then awkwardly butts her head under my chin. “I’m sorry.”

I smile down at her. I can tell she’s uncomfortable, bless her. Layla doesn’t like talking about feelings, but right now, she’s trying so hard to comfort me, even though she clearly hasn’t got a clue how to. “S’okay, lass. Can’t undo it now.”

It took me a long time to come to terms with that. After Emily passed, I walked around feeling like I was in a nightmare, and sooner or later, someone would pinch me and wake me up. It wasn’t until after the funeral that I finally realised that there was no way I’d get her back. So I put her engagement ring on a chain around my neck, deleted the phone numbers of all my old friends, and headed off to play rugby for the next seven years. Without her. I’ve not gotten serious with a girl since.

Layla kisses my chest tiredly, and I stroke my fingers through her hair, feeling her breathe against me. She falls asleep soon after, but I can’t seem to keep my eyes closed.





TRANSCRIPT





THREE SINGLE GUYS EPISODE 446: THE SECOND DATE





JOSH: Hello, and welcome to episode 446 of Three Single Guys, a relationship podcast by three guys who are absolutely not qualified to give you dating advice. My name is Josh…



ZACK: I’m Zack.



LUKE: And I’m Luke.



LAYLA: And I’m Layla! These boys’ long-suffering neighbor-slash-fake-girlfriend.



ZACK: You didn’t look like you were suffering too much last night.



LAYLA: Shut it.



ZACK: No, seriously, I’m worried now. Why are you suffering? Crap, did we not use enough lube?



LAYLA: What would be the point? It would be like trying to lubricate a pipe cleaner.



LUKE: (Clears throat)



LAYLA: We have a great show lined up for you today. Spoiler alert — the experiment is going really, really great. But before we get into all of that, today’s episode is brought to you by… me.



ZACK: Our girlfriend has her own company! Surprise!



LAYLA: For those of you who don’t know, my company Her Treat focuses on making ethical, affordable and adorable undies for people of all shapes and sizes. Today, I want to talk to you about my latest design — the Butterfly bra. Josh, what is the number-one most disliked feature on a regular bra?



JOSH: … The… cups?



ZACK: I know! It’s the underwire!



LAYLA: Correct. Underwire has been around for eighty years, and women have been complaining about it the entire time. Instead of underwire, I designed the Butterfly to have a thin, very strong strip of elastic at the bottom of the base, wrapped in glossy ribbon. This allows the design to provide the same support as an underwire by contouring to your ribcage, but without the irritation and potential stabbing. Okay, I’m going to pass one of my pieces to all of you. What do you guys think?



LUKE: … It’s very nice, Layla.



LAYLA: That’s all you have to say? No other comments?



ZACK: It’s well soft.



LAYLA: Yes, it is. The cups are all made from microfibre fabrics that are strong, silky, and extremely durable. It’s the perfect option if you’re taking hormones, or you have sensitive skin, or you’re nursing. Or you’re just on your period and you’re extra sensitive. The Butterfly also features a front-clasp, which is ideal if you have limited arm or finger mobility — no more fumbling around behind your back when you’re trying to get ready in the morning. And, best of all, it’s hot as Hell. Zack, since you apparently know the most about women’s clothing, how would you describe the overall look of the design?



ZACK: Dunno, lass. It’s pretty, but it’s hard to review clothes without seeing them on someone.