Fake It Till You Bake It(91)

Lila and John exchanged a glance and jumped up at the same time. John yanked open the door and stumbled back. Nicholas and August filled the doorway, both wearing expressions of impending malice. John swallowed, then pushed past them with Lila hot on his heels.





Chapter Twenty-Five


Donovan shut the door on his best friends’ beaming faces and turned to the most important person in his life. “We did it, baby! You were so badass.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up, and spun in a circle.

Laughing, she smacked him on the shoulders. “Put me down.”

“Not before I do this.” She was at the perfect height for him to kiss and he took immediate advantage. Kissing her was a new, better experience every time. He lost himself in the taste and scent of her. He kept the embrace soft and languid, wanting to savor the moment. Savor her. Connect with her.

He loved her. And he was going to tell her. Now.

Donovan ended the kiss, his chest heaving, the blood roaring in his veins. He reluctantly set her on her feet, hating to lose the connection.

Jada took a step back—away from him—her hands twisting together at her waist. “We need to talk.”

Donovan’s brow furrowed as he wrestled to bring his rioting senses under control. “Talk about what?”

Her throat worked up and down. “About us.”

Donovan fought to keep calm. “What about us?”

“We need to … end things.”

Donovan stumbled back. “What? What the hell are you talking about? We just told Lila and John we’re a real couple because we are!”

“I know, but we can’t … shouldn’t continue.”

“Why the hell not?”

He took no solace in the fact that she looked miserable. Panic was ripping his insides to shreds, obliterating his ability to think straight. The woman he loved, the only woman he’d ever loved, was telling him that not only did she not feel the same way, she didn’t even want there to be a “them” at all. “Is this because I was thinking about myself when you first told me about Lila?”

Jada vigorously shook her head. “No, no, no. This is all about me.”

He didn’t believe her. He’d been so worried about himself that he hadn’t taken the time to immediately check on her. And he was doing it again. He knew her. He knew he hadn’t been in this alone. Knew the kiss they’d just shared was more than mutual lust.

He went to her and cradled her cheek, his thumb smoothing over her soft skin. “Baby, tell me what’s going on.”

“I need to do this for me.” She shied away from his touch, ripping a new hole in his chest where his heart used to reside.

“Do what?” He wanted her to say it. To put into words the action that would destroy him.

“Not work here.” She pressed her eyes tightly closed, like she was giving herself a pep talk to continue. “Not be with you.”

“Why?” He heard the pleading in his voice. He didn’t give a shit. Now was not the time for pride.

Her eyes fluttered open. “I came to work at Sugar Blitz to convince my grandmother that I was responsible enough to gain control of my trust fund. I’ve always been a screwup, someone who couldn’t stay with anything for long, twisting in the wind from here to there, from impulse to impulse. I thought I found what I was looking for here, but again I nearly brought disaster to your doorstep because of one more impulsive decision I made.”

Donovan gathered her hands in his and squeezed. “But we weathered that storm together.”

Jada nodded. “I know we did, but it’s hard to forget that I was the cause in the first place, and I don’t want to ever put you in that position again.” A tear slipped down her cheek. He reached out to wipe it away. He couldn’t help himself. Her pain was his pain.

Jada squared her shoulders. “To truly be the adult I want to be, I need to be on my own, not at a job my grandmother picked out for me, even though I’ve had the time of my life here. I don’t want to be that impulsive screwup for the rest of my life. I refuse to be. We’ve moved so fast, and I’ve come to rely on you. I need to figure out who I am and what I want and stand on my own two feet before I commit to someone. I need time.”

Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding. But he couldn’t. Love for her consumed him, and he wanted to tell everyone every damn day how he felt.

But that’s not what she wanted from him.

If he thought about it rationally, logically, he could understand. It took everything within him, but he reined in his emotions. If she needed time, if she didn’t see a future with him, then he would respect her decision. No matter how much it ravaged him.

But he’d been through plenty of emotionally draining, soul-crushing events in life, and he’d gotten through them by concentrating on what came next and making sure he was never vulnerable again. This would be no different.

He swallowed his hurt and lifted his chin. “Okay.”



* * *



Jada followed Stacey into Grams’s office. Her grandmother stood and made her way toward her. “Jada, what a wonderful surprise.”

She held out her arms and Jada gratefully fell into the embrace. She’d never felt worse. Being an adult sucked. She missed Donovan more than she’d ever thought possible. It had been less than two days, but it felt like a part—an integral part—of her was missing. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel whole again. But it was a necessary step for her. She needed to figure out who she was outside of a relationship, outside of a job handed to her. But it hurt so much not seeing him every day. Not being able to kiss him whenever the mood struck. Not being able to tease him when he got too serious.