F*ck Marriage(56)

“She’s resting,” he says.

I smirk. I wonder if Pearl has any idea how bad Woods has it for his ex-wife? I wonder if Woods has any idea how bad I have it for his ex-wife? Bros before hoes. I remember the sentiment from high school and college. Dicks before chicks. Turns out, it is a fallible ideal. Billie has come right between my best friend and me, and I’d known she would the first time I laid eyes on her.



She’d walked into my house party carrying a bottle of expensive wine rather than the jumbo bottles of cheap liquor everyone else brought. I’d known it was her right away, Woods’ new girlfriend. When he told me he was seeing someone seriously I’d slapped him on the back.

“The great white shark has been slayed.”

He described her in great detail every time we were together, almost to the point that I was sick of hearing her name. I’d never seen him like this, enamored by one girl rather than all the girls. “Something special,” he’d said. “Classy and fun as hell.”

She was nervous, I could tell by the way she shoved the bottle at me. Her leather jacket was worn at the elbows like she spent a lot of time with her head propped in her hands.

“You must be Satcher,” she said.

“Right now I’d prefer to be Woods.” I took the bottle from her, and her lips twitched at my blatant flirting.

“Speaking of, where is he?” Her eyes darted around the room, trying to unearth him from the clusters of people.

“He ran out for more liquor.”

Her gaze traveled to the liquor table where three unopened bottles of cheap tequila sat side by side.

“I lied,” I told her. “He went for pot…”

The smile reached her eyes that time. “So the first thing I learn about you is that you can’t lie for shit.” She grinned.

I shrugged. “Why lie when the truth is so interesting?”

“So tell me, Satcher, how much does Woods like me?”

Oh shit. She was already using my weakness against me. I’d stared at her hair, which was short and wavy around her face, one side tucked behind her ear. She was wearing handgun earrings. What type of woman wore Glock earrings? I reached for the wine opener and removed the cork while she watched me.

“He’s whipped,” I said. “It’s a sad, sad thing to watch.”

She laughed, a deep throaty laugh.

“You laugh like a villain,” I said, pouring wine into two Solo cups.

“Oh, it’s going to be fun getting to know you,” she said, taking the wine from me.

I tilted my cup toward hers and touched it lightly in a cheers. “Ditto.”



When I look up, Woods has joined Billie at the bar. Her hair is long, almost to her waist. She still tucks it behind one ear, but somewhere in her twenties she lost her taste for leather jackets and handgun earrings. I miss the old, reckless, unpolished Billie. The one who’d tell Woods to go fuck himself.

“Ready to go?” I ask Jules, squeezing her knee.

“So soon? Don’t you need to stay a while longer?”

My eyes flicker up toward the bar. They’re standing close, only a drink between them.

“No. Let’s go back to my place,” I say.

Jules nods. We hardly spend time at my condo, but I don’t want to risk running into Billie tonight. We say our goodbyes around the table and head for the door, Jules’ hand in mine. I hear Billie call my name, but I pretend not to hear.

“Bathroom,” Jules says, letting go of my hand.

She veers left and I wander over to the door, hands in my pockets. It’s raining, the street looks oil slick.

“Satcher…” I hear my name from behind me and I turn slowly.

“You didn’t say goodbye…” Her eyes are hurt. She looks vulnerable, hands clasped at her waist, hair falling over one eye.

I don’t say anything and she takes a step toward me.

“I don’t know that I’ll see you again ... before Christmas…” She looks over her shoulder and then in three birdlike steps she’s in front of me. She takes my hand, gently unfolding my fingers from my palm.

I watch the dark splay of her eyelashes as she looks down at my hand. She lifts her fingers and places something in my palm. Then she folds my hand closed over it.

“Merry Christmas, Satcher,” she says.

I watch her walk away. When she’s gone I look down at what she placed in my hand. At first, I don’t know what I’m seeing: it’s small, the size of a pea, and iridescent white. I think it might be a pearl, but then I see the tiny hoop on the back. It’s a button. I touch it with my forefinger, pressing it into my palm. When Jules finds me, she laughs at my expression.

“What is that?” she asks, peering into my hand.

“Nothing,” I say quickly. “It’s raining…”

I stuff Billie’s gift into my pocket as Jules directs her gaze outside.

“Let’s run for it,” she says.





Chapter Twenty-Nine





Once we’re back at my condo I can’t stop thinking about them: Billie and Woods. How they looked at the bar, their heads bent together like the old days. In the beginning of their relationship they were like that: whispering, touching, trading inside jokes. They made the rest of us feel like outsiders anytime we were around them. But they hadn’t cared, they’d existed in a heart-shaped world of their own.