Everything You Are(84)

He wants to run both of his hands through Phee’s wonderful hair and kiss her, right here and now, in front of God and everybody.

He wants to put his hands on her shoulders and shake sense into her.

“I feel like a hostage,” he says, mostly to prevent himself from acting on either impulse.

She grins at him, as mischievous as a child. “It’s an adventure! We’re not going to duct-tape you and shove you in a closet. We want to make sure you stay sober and that Allie doesn’t hurt herself. That’s better done away from all temptation, don’t you think?”

“Can’t argue with that logic,” Len says.

“Come on, Braden,” Katie calls. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Phee gives him a little shove, and despite all of his misgivings, Braden climbs into the available back seat, next to Jean. Celestine, in the cargo space right behind him, pokes a cold nose into his neck, leaving a string of slobber behind. Anxiety flutters in his belly as the door slams, closing him in.

Jean’s thin hand rests on his arm, cool, gentle. “All will be well,” she murmurs. “Don’t fight what you cannot change.”

The idea of letting go, of letting the thinking be done for him for a while, of having a group share the responsibility, of not having to go back to the house that shouts of Lilian and Trey and all of his failures, is surprisingly seductive.

“Am I allowed to ask where we’re going?”

“You can always ask.” Len shifts into gear. “As it happens, none of us know. Phee is the keeper of secrets on this one, and I only know enough to point us in the right direction.”

“Wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise,” Phee says. “First destination point, Easton. Already checked the road conditions. Traffic normal. Snoqualmie Pass, clear and dry. No snow. Make it so, Captain.”

“Aye, aye,” Len says.

Allie cranes her neck around to look at Braden, eyebrows lifted in a question.

“I assume I’m allowed to share AA information with Allie and Steph, seeing as you’ve brought them into this?” he asks the group at large.

“They must be sworn to secrecy,” Katie answers dramatically. “Raise your hands in the air and repeat after me.” She raises her own right hand, and Steph and Allie mirror her. “I do solemnly swear that I will keep the secrets of the Adventure Angels. What happens on this adventure stays on this adventure.”

Steph breaks up in a fit of giggles. Allie elbows her. Both of them recite the words with due solemnity.

“Do you go around kidnapping people on a regular basis?” Allie asks.

“Adventures are usually voluntary,” Dennis answers. “Desperate times, desperate measures.”

“This is our version of AA,” Phee fills in. “Sobriety through adventure and creating fun for other people.”

“Cool,” Steph says. “Can I be one?”

“Maybe an honorary member. For God’s sake, don’t become an alcoholic just so you can join.”

Braden listens to the chatter, small conversations here and there among the group, but his mind keeps drifting. His fatigue, born of a string of mostly sleepless nights and ongoing worry, catches up with him, and he drifts in and out of wakefulness.

When he jolts sharply awake out of a dream of falling, at first he has no idea where he is. It comes back to him in pieces. Allie’s suicide attempt. The intervention. Jean beside him, the dog behind him. Also the cello. He can feel its presence, wants to turn around and reach for it. He also wants to touch Allie there in the seat in front of him, to reassure himself that she’s okay. She’s talking to Katie and Steph about some rock band they all listen to, and he contents himself with a visual check.

His gaze goes to the road outside, trying to gauge their location and how long he’s been asleep.

“We’re on the pass,” Jean says, in answer to his unasked question. “Stopping in Easton for dinner.”

“And after that?”

“Infinity and beyond,” Dennis supplies. “Hey, this is a full-scale adventure planned and plotted by Phee. Likely to be epic.”

Braden has his suspicions. Phee couldn’t be farther away from him if she’d planned the seating arrangement. Which, of course, she has, he realizes with a little jolt of adrenaline. When they all bail out of the vehicle in Easton, she manages to be always somewhere he isn’t. Walking the dog, sitting as far away as she can get in the café.

When she shifts places with Len and takes over the driver’s seat, it’s all plausible and reasonable. Len is tired, changing drivers makes perfect sense. Braden tries to guess where they’re going, to calm the anxiety at his center. Until they reach the town of Ellensburg, there are still options that make sense to him. A cabin at a resort or a campground. An out-of-the-way bed-and-breakfast, maybe, or a resort. But when she turns north off the I-90 onto Highway 283, his suspicions and his anxiety both ratchet up to a whole new level.

Even Phee has to stop sometime. The rig is a gas guzzler. Steph and Katie have been clamoring for a rest stop for miles, and when Jean adds her quiet voice to their demands, Phee pulls into a service station in the little town of Soap Lake.

Braden is out of the vehicle before she has the keys out of the ignition, and he confronts her as she opens her door. “Where are we going, Phee?”