Every Other Weekend(48)

Mom covered her mouth at that point, and I was starting to worry that my confession had seriously lowered her opinion of me when a laugh slipped through her fingers, muffled at first and then louder as she gave up trying to hide it.

I leaned back. “I’m glad you find my pain funny.”

“No, not funny.” She reached for my hand. “Honey, you have to be honest with this other girl.”

“Erica. And I know. It’s just...she knows that I liked her for a really long time, and breaking up with her this quickly makes it look like I was messing with her. I don’t want to do that to her.”

“If she knows you at all, she’ll never think that.”

I wasn’t so sure. “Plus, Jolene knows I have a girlfriend, and she doesn’t seem to mind the way I would if she had a boyfriend.”

To that Mom only smiled. “Let me see your phone.” When I handed it to her, she pulled up our texts, and, sliding her chair closer to mine so that we could both see the screen, she scrolled thought the photos of Jolene and me, dozens and dozens of photos of the two of us, way more than I needed for Mom. The latest was one of us outside, lying in the snow with a single red scarf wrapping our necks and most of our heads together. Only our eyes were visible, but it was obvious that we were laughing.

I wanted to object that these were photos that were taken specifically to make her believe something that wasn’t real, but the more I looked at them and the more I remembered each moment, the less sure I became.

“Maybe she minds more than she’s letting on,” Mom said, handing me back my phone. Before she let me take it, she added, “And I don’t want you lying to make me feel better anymore, okay?”

“I just want you to be happy again,” I told her, and for some reason that admission brought tears to her eyes. “Mom?”

She shook her head, trying to stem them, but they fell.

“Mom,” I said again, wrapping my arms around her.

She cried for a very, very long time.



* * *



I sighed on Friday morning when I saw Erica standing by her locker. I knew this was the moment; it had to be. And not just telling her about Jolene either.

I’d been avoiding the conversation for way too long. I didn’t want to be just Jolene’s friend, and the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted.

And that meant ending things with Erica.

I’d texted her while she was sick, but I wasn’t about to break up with her over the phone, so I’d taken the reprieve like the coward I was.

I didn’t have any more excuses.

“Erica,” I said as I closed the last few feet between us. “I guess you’re feeling bet—”

She turned around and slapped me across the face.





SIXTH WEEKEND

December 4–6

Jolene

“Hello, Adam.”

He rolled his eyes at my formality and joined me on the stairwell. It was snowing hard outside, so hard that I’d wondered if Adam and his brother were going to drive in it.

The apocalypse could have been happening and Dad’s lawyer would still have made me come. By foot if necessary. So I’d been there, sitting on the thinly carpeted step for over an hour when Adam finally showed up.

“Oh, you’ve got—” He reached one arm around my back to support his weight as he leaned in to pluck a piece of lint from my braid. But then he didn’t lean back, he stared at me and when his eyes lowered to my mouth, I shot to my feet.

“First of all, no. Second of all, I’m tired of being the one who constantly has to remind you of your own girlfriend. You—” and I spun to stare right at him “—are better than that.”

“I haven’t forgotten anyone. I—”

I cut him off. “From now on I think it’s better if we keep a little more distance between us.” To illustrate, I sat back down on the step but I made sure there were two full feet between us.

Adam glanced at the space between us, then raised an eyebrow at me. “I thought you didn’t mind me having a girlfriend.”

“Okay, fine.” I tossed my hands up. “I don’t like that you have a girlfriend. And no, I’m not asking for the job. And no, I’m not saying it would be a job to be your girlfriend. I don’t like that I have to weigh everything I do in light of how some girl I don’t know is going to feel about it, or literally measure the distance between us.” I gestured to the space separating us. “I’m exhausted already, and you’ve only been here two minutes.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Ah, but I do.” I made my eyes go all wide and buggy. “I have to be obsessive and paranoid like a girlfriend would be, and I don’t even get any of the benefits. Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot.”

“No wonder you’re tired.”

“Just wait,” I told him. “You haven’t heard my unhinged and overly complicated solution. You ready?”

Adam leaned his back against his side of the stairwell wall. “Go.”

“Okay. First, the facts.” I poked him in the chest. “You have a girlfriend. You also have a friend who is a girl.” I poked my chest. “These two coexisting relationships are going to destroy you and consume your soul. We want to avoid that, if at all possible.”