ENEMIES(66)

I gave up.

I was distracted because in two-and-a-half hours, I’d see Jared again. I had so much guilt for not getting up there before now. An ache was digging in my chest, and lying on my bed, I rubbed that spot. Guilt and regret were going to eat a hole inside of me, literally.

My phone buzzed and I sat up, reaching for it at the same time as I brushed a tear away.

Georgia: We landed!! Jared’s super excited to see you. We’re going to the hotel now, then we’ll meet you at the stadium. Door 8, right?

Me: Yes. How was the flight? I’m excited to see Jared, too.

I wasn’t. I was, but I was petrified. My hands were shaking as I typed that text out.

Another buzz.

Georgia: The boys are both bouncing off the walls. They told everyone on the plane they knew Stone and the Kingfishers were going to dominate tonight. Okay! We’ll see you at door 8. So excited!

Excited.

My hand never stopped shaking. All the way through taking a shower, changing. The button on my jeans kept slipping. Took me four times to secure it. Then, my hair. My whole arms were shaking now.

A knock and my door was pushed open. “You here—oh.”

It took me forty minutes just to get my clothes on. I had thirty minutes left to finish dressing before Stone’s driver would be outside waiting for me. I’d already sent him the text.

Nicole saw me, saw the state I was in, and came inside. She shut the door behind her, stood a second, and got serious. “What can I do?”

“My hair,” I croaked out.

“Okay.” She was eyeing the waves that’d come from my braiding attempts and the hair tie in my hand. “I know what to do.” She pulled out my desk chair and turned it around in front of her. Patting it, she said, “Come here. Take a seat.”

I did, almost sagging into it.

“Now,” she almost hummed under her breath, her fingers making quick work. I felt the tugging, but it wasn’t painful. She could’ve been pulling chunks out and I wouldn’t have cared. “I can’t do that fancy braid you did the other night, but I do know one trick that my mom taught me. And believe you me, I can rock a waterfall braid like no other. Trust, girl. Trust.”

I trusted.

And feeling the braid start to form across the back of my head, I closed my eyes and simply gave in.

The ache was back. My family was no more, except a stepbrother I was about to see. I had to accept it all and acknowledge it. I couldn’t see him in the half-state of denial that I was still existing in. Grief is a right bastard. Sneaks up on you, blasts you, hits you, pounds you, leaves you wrecked. There’s a moment of peace. You never know how long it could last. Minutes. Hours. Days. You’re starting to believe you can ‘do this’ and the bastard comes back, knocks you over with a battering ram. But if you fight it, deny it, ignore it, it’s still there. The bastard is just waiting until your shields are down, then he gets you again. Only way to deal is to take the beating, then breathe once he’s gone, and wait for him to return because it would get better.

I was rubbing at my chest when I realized what I was doing.

Nicole was finishing the braid. “Hold a second.” She disappeared, coming back with a curling iron, hair product, and hairspray. Plugging in the iron, she said, “Gotta perfect the whole look, you know. How my mama taught me.”

“Is your mom alive?”

She paused. “Yes.” She frowned. “Why do you ask?”

They didn’t know.

It was time. “My mom died when I was a senior in high school.”

She froze, cursing under her breath. “I—I thought maybe I heard something about that when you and Stone were here, but I wasn’t sure. I’m so sorry.”

My throat was so dry. My insides felt cracked. “The night Stone came over, the night of my wreck, he’d just told me that my dad and my stepmom had died.”

“Holy shit.” She drew in a harsh breath.

“My stepbrother is here. He’s being adopted by his best friend’s family, and they flew down to go to Stone’s game. Stone got them tickets. I’m going to see him for the first time since everything happened.”

Her hands flattened over my shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I…we had no idea.”

I admitted with a rueful grin, “I’m a mess.”

A sad smile came to her as she tucked a strand of hair behind the waterfall. “Well, you let me do my magic. This hairstyle, it’s something I can do to help.”

I nodded, whispering, my throat suddenly clogging up, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She touched my cheek a moment before she was back, working on my hair.

Twenty minutes later, I had eight to go before the driver would be upstairs, Nicole stepped back. “You’re done!” She was smiling and blinking back tears. I was taking that as a good sign. Slipping from the chair, I went into the bathroom and stopped.

Whoa.

The waterfall braid started at one corner, wound down and around to end behind my other ear. The top was tucked under, pulled into the braid and the rest fell loose at my shoulders. They were curled and shining, and I knew I couldn’t have done anything better.

“Thank you.” I wasn’t thanking her just for the hair.

“Come here.” She pulled me in, hugging me tightly before stepping back. “The girls and I, we’re here for you. Mia lost her dad two years ago. It’s why she and Char got as close as they did. Char’s mom died of cancer the same year. Lisa lost a little brother. Savannah, her sister has Down syndrome and is in a nursing home. When I say we’re here for you, we are. We all get it. Trust me.” She leaned in, still smiling. “Thank you for telling me what’s really going on.”