Dumped, Actually(93)

But right now, I really don’t care.

Does that sound strange to you? Does it sound a little cold?

It’s not meant to. I can assure you my feelings for Erica are real, as I’m sure hers are for me.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned since that day at Thorn Manor – other than the fact you can’t force a happy ending – it’s that I can’t spend my time caring so much about what other people feel. Or what other people think.

Not for the minute, anyway.

Not at this stage in my life.

Because right now, I have to think of myself. I have to think of Ollie Sweet, first and foremost. It’s still hard to do, but I’m getting more and more used to it.

Because that’s the only way I can make myself happy. That’s the only way I can love myself.

(Not like that, don’t be so disgusting.)

And then maybe, just maybe, when I’ve learned to love and accept who I am . . . I’ll be ready to love someone else. Properly, for the first time.

And, hopefully, she’ll have deep green eyes and red hair that seems to have a life of its own.

But we will see.

We will just have to wait and see.

Right at this moment, though, Sundar the elephant is kneeling down to allow me to climb on to his back. He looks relatively happy about this, I think. I am pretty light and inoffensive, when you get right down to it.

I clamber up on to Sundar’s back and gaze out once again at the lush rainforest in front of me. Then I reach into my pocket and pull out my iPhone. When I pop the earbuds into my ears, the gentle sound of a sitar fills them.

Yes.

This is perfect.

This is just what I dreamed about.

And sometimes – at the right time – dreams need to be lived out on your own.

I pat Sundar’s big grey head and smile.

‘Off we go, my friend,’ I say. ‘Let’s see what the future holds.’





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As ever, writing a book requires a lot of support from the people around you. They might not actually be there when you’re tapping away feverishly on the keyboard, but without them, I can honestly say none of the stories I’ve written would ever see the light of day.

So, thanks – as ever – to my wife, Gemma. Every time I’ve been dumped in my life, it was entirely worth it, because it eventually led to her.

Thanks to my mother, Judy, and my sister, Sharon, for their support. And to all of my close friends as well . . . you know who you are.

More thanks go to everyone at Amazon Publishing, and to my agent, Jon, for continuing to have faith in these silly little stories that I insist on writing.

And finally, as ever, there’s you . . . the person good enough to buy and read this novel. Without you, there really is no point in doing any of this. If you ever dumped me, I don’t know what I’d do.