Dream On(97)

“Put yourself in my shoes for a minute. You find out that your colleague, who appears to strongly dislike you, is dating your ex-boyfriend—the same ex-boyfriend who left you bleeding at the hospital on the most traumatic day of your life, and who has since made it his singular mission to convince everyone he knows that you’re a monstrous, lying harpy.” Her voice cracks, and I’m alarmed to find tears streaming down the side of her nose. “Would you have believed me if I tried to warn you that Devin is an arrogant, self-righteous know-it-all? That you should run far, far away because he can’t be trusted? Or would you think I was just playing to character and trying to manipulate you?”

With a derisive snort, Devin folds his arms across his chest. “I can’t be trusted? I can’t be trusted. Wow, Sadie. That’s rich. I’m not the one who faked a pregnancy and lied about it.”

“For the last time, it wasn’t fake!” She screams so loud people thirty feet away shoot us questioning looks from inside the festival. “You were there when the first doctor delivered the news: I wasn’t pregnant. But you left before they sent in an ob-gyn to explain what she actually saw on the ultrasound: an empty gestational sac. Gestational sac. Which means I was pregnant, but I lost the baby early on, around six or seven weeks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you miscarried then? Why keep it a secret for another month?”

“Because I didn’t know. I had morning sickness up until a week before we went to the hospital. When it started going away, I thought it was normal because I was getting closer to the second trimester. I had no idea that it was possible to lose a pregnancy but for your body not to get the message. Even though the embryo stopped developing around week six, my uterus continued growing a placenta and pumping out pregnancy hormones for another month, tricking me into believing I was still pregnant.”

Devin’s eyes flick back and forth across her face. “Why didn’t you want to go to the hospital when you started bleeding then?”

She throws her hands in the air. “I was scared. I didn’t want to believe my body had failed at the one thing on this earth it’s biologically wired to do. I know it sounds stupid, but I thought when I got pregnant despite being on the pill that it was fate—that this baby, our baby, was meant to be, even though we never planned it. Do you understand how much it destroyed me when I lost it? No. Of course you don’t. Because you left me in the hospital without so much as a goodbye or even a ride home. I didn’t even know we were over for good until I found the box you left on my doorstep two days later with all my stuff from your apartment. And then I couldn’t contact you to explain what really happened because you blocked me on everything, even LinkedIn. You completely ghosted me.”

Devin’s jaw loosens and his arms fall limply at his sides. “Oh God. Sadie…” He blinks several times, and a tear trickles down his cheek. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were lying. I thought—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. You had your shot, but you blew it.” Lifting her trembling chin, she faces me. “I’m sorry you had to hear all that, but I’m not sorry things didn’t work out between you and Devin. I know I wasn’t that friendly with you this summer, but that’s just how I am, I guess. I’m not used to trusting people or making friends in professional settings; between my student loans and helping my family with their bills, there’s always been too much at stake. And I’m not what you’d call a ‘bubbly’ person anyway. But I’m not the villain here either.”

Gripping her purse strap like a lifeline, she marches back toward the festival and fades into the crowd.

Devin stares sightlessly after her, chest rising and falling. He’s quiet for so long I consider tiptoeing away when he suddenly thrusts his fingers through his hair. “Sadie, wait.” He takes off running after her, leaving me alone on the sidewalk.





Perry, where are you? We need to talk.



I clutch my phone as I weave my way back through the festival. I need to find him, and he wasn’t in the Blooms & Baubles tent or with Marcus or Brie. So much has happened in the last twenty minutes my head might explode, but one thing’s clear: I can’t let Perry think I’d ever choose Devin over him.

Things are over between us for good. I might not have had the chance to tell him yet, but given the way he sprinted after Mercedes, I don’t think my feelings for Perry will be an issue.

My phone vibrates and I check the screen.

Turn around



My heart skips a beat. Perry’s not ten feet behind me, standing beside the entrance to a booth filled with watercolor paintings. Sunlight glints off his tight, inscrutable expression.

I run to him. “You didn’t leave.” I try to take his hand, but he slips out of my grasp. My stomach twists into knots.

“You’re right. We need to talk.” He beckons for me to follow him, and he leads me out of the festival until we’re standing directly behind his Blooms & Baubles tent. Farther down Twenty-Eighth Street, cars turn onto side streets, detouring around the blocked section of road.

“Look, Perry,” I say in a rush. “When I said Devin’s name, I didn’t mean it like that. I realized that he still harbored hope that I’ll take him back someday and I needed to tell him the truth: he’s not the one for me. I even know now why I remembered him after my coma.”