Don’t Let Me Go(37)

But she didn’t even wait for an answer.

She ran to the bottom of the stairs and called up in her very loudest voice, which was louder than anybody else’s loudest voice — at least, anybody she knew. Most of the time Grace had to sit hard on her loud voice and feel shamed for it, but every now and then a loud voice was called for, and that was Grace’s moment to shine.

“Felipe! Come down a minute, OK? We’re having a meeting!”

Then she ran and knocked on Billy’s door, saying, as she did, “It’s me, Grace.”

He answered right away. No safety chain, either.

“Did you hear about Mr. Lafferty?” she asked him.

And he said, “No, but I was worried about it.”

“You, too? How come nobody told me?”

“Because we weren’t sure. Just worried.”

“Yeah, that’s the same as Rayleen said. Anyway, we’re having a meeting.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?”

“Grace. The way you just announced it, people walking by on the street know. Hell, people driving by on the street probably know. Are we supposed to have this meeting in my apartment? Without anybody asking my permission first?”

“I don’t know. We can have it anywhere you want. Oh. Wait. Right. I forgot,” Rayleen said from across the hall.

“Right. You forgot. Have it anywhere you want. Unless you want yours truly in attendance, and then your options narrow.”

Grace said, “Huh?”

Rayleen, now standing right behind Grace, said, “It means if you want him to be there it has to be at his place.”

“Well, of course, we have to have you there.”

“Then I guess I’m the venue of choice,” he said. Grace rolled her eyes, so he added, “That means it’s my place or nothing.”

“Right. I already knew that when she said it.”

By that time Felipe had arrived, so Billy had to open the door wider and let everybody in. Well, almost everybody. Just as she was headed in the door, Grace turned to see Mrs. Hinman standing in the hall, just a few steps away, watching them.

Grace said, “Hi, Mrs. Hinman,” and started to close the door.

But Mrs. Hinman said, “Wait. What’s all this about a meeting?”

“Oh, no. Not a meeting for you, Mrs. Hinman. This is a meeting for us. Just us. You know. The people who take care of me.”

“All those people take care of you?” Mrs. Hinman asked, coming a step or two closer and peering through the door.

“Yeah. Everybody except you.”

Then Grace closed the door. But, as she did, she noticed that Mrs. Hinman looked a little hurt. But she couldn’t stop to think too much about it, at least, not right then, because this was a very important meeting.

Billy was sitting so close to the edge of the couch that it looked like he might be about to fall on his butt on the rug, and Felipe was standing near the door with his arms folded over his chest. Only Rayleen looked even the tiniest bit comfortable, sitting in Billy’s big stuffed chair with her legs crossed, but with her face still plenty curious.

“OK,” Grace said, standing in the middle of the living room and feeling very grown-up and ready to take charge of things. “This is why we’re here. We’re having a meeting to talk about how we can…not…oh, no…now I forgot the word. What’s that word Mr. Lafferty said? About what we’re doing with my mom?”

“Enabling,” Billy said.

“Right! We’re here to talk about how to stop enabling my mom, because, you know, she’s not getting better. And I need her to get better. Don’t get me wrong, you guys have been great and all, but, well, she’s my mom.”

Billy and Rayleen and Felipe all looked at each other, one set of them at a time.

“I don’t know,” Rayleen said. “I mean, what can we do?”

“Well, why do you think we’re having a meeting?” Grace said, not bothering to hide her exasperation.

“I think what Rayleen means,” Billy said, “is that there may not be anything we can do.”

A long, bad silence hung around the room after that, but while it was hanging, Grace decided she’d just have to think harder, because, after all, this was her mom.

“But Mr. Lafferty said if she was about to lose me, she might get better.”

Rayleen’s face changed, in a scary sort of way. Like she’d just seen a big hairy monster standing right behind Grace with its teeth and claws out.

“Oh, my God, Grace,” she said, “you can’t want that. You have no idea what that’s like, when the county comes and takes a kid away.”

“No, of course I don’t want that,” Grace said, though, truthfully, she hadn’t specifically known what she’d meant when she’d said it. “But why can’t we take me away from her?”

More of that silence.

Billy said, “We’re not sure what you mean.”

“Why can’t we just tell her that she never gets to see me again until she stops using all the drugs?”

More silence, this time punctuated by one clearing throat and a couple of uncomfortable sighs.

“There might be a couple of flaws in that plan,” Rayleen said.