Dirty Letters(43)

“Nothing. Sometimes I just still can’t believe I get to look into your eyes. There’s not one time I’ve looked into them that I haven’t thought about how lucky I am to be able to do that.”

Luca blushed, and it was beautiful, really. I hoped that someday I could see her do that very thing while our bodies were connected as much as our souls always seemed to be.

The evening so far had gone off without a hitch. And I should’ve known that was too good to be true. Because after dinner, when we exited the supposed private door to head to our waiting car, a rush of flashes greeted us. A few paparazzi had been camped out waiting for us to exit. Apparently somewhere beneath the smiles of the people who had served us tonight, there was a mole.

Luca’s big, beautiful eyes were filled with confusion.

Never in my entire career had I ever lost it with the paparazzi—until now.

“Back the fuck off,” I shouted. “It’s okay when I’m alone, but this is not cool! She didn’t ask for this.”

Their questions all seemed to blend together.

“Is she your girlfriend, Cole?”

Flash.

Flash.

Flash.

“What’s her name?”

Flash.

Flash.

“How’s the new album coming?”

Flash.

Flash.

Flash.

I wrapped both my arms around Luca protectively. Thankfully, the car was right there, and we didn’t have to wait for it.

After we got inside and I closed the door, it became eerily quiet.

I misdirected my anger toward the driver. “Why didn’t you warn me they were out here?”

“I tried to call your phone, sir. There was no answer.”

I checked my phone. There were no missed calls.

What the fuck?

I didn’t know what had happened, whether he had dialed the wrong number or what. That didn’t matter.

“Take us home, please,” I told him.

I had one job. One job. That was to give Luca a normal night out without interference. I should’ve known better.

I pulled her close. “Are you alright?”

“It happened so fast, yeah. I didn’t have much of a chance to react.”

“Yeah. That’s how it is sometimes.”

“How did they know we were in there?”

“Someone at the restaurant probably ratted us out. Employees are told not to say anything, but all it takes is one person—one waitress texting her friend or whatever. Then word spreads like wildfire. Normally it doesn’t matter. I deal with it. But I wanted so badly to escape it for one night with you.” My voice was strained. “I’m sorry, Luca.”

She caressed the stubble on my jaw. “I know it’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is. I should’ve known that I couldn’t take you anywhere in public and have it be a hundred percent paparazzi-free.”

Things were quiet until the driver let us off in front of my place. The silence continued to follow us into the house and up the winding staircase.

She looked tired.

I led Luca to her room. “Wait for me here, okay, love? Lie down and relax. I’ll be back in about five minutes.”

I ventured down the hall to my main bathroom and ran the water in the large tub, testing it with my hand to make sure it was just the right temperature. I was still fuming. All I wanted was to help Luca relax so that she could sleep well tonight. She needed a good night’s rest before having to hit the road.

After the tub was filled, I returned to her room and held out my hand.

“Come.”

She took it and followed me down the hall.

When she spotted the tub filled with suds, she asked, “Am I supposed to get in there?”

“We’re gonna get in there.”

She swallowed. I realized she might have been thinking I had other ideas. Understandably so.

“I’ll keep my knickers on. I just want to hold you.”

I turned around as a cue for her to undress and get in the water. “Just say when.”

After a couple of minutes, she said, “When.”

Only her head was visible. She gazed at me as I removed my shirt and pants, taking off everything but my boxer briefs. She seemed to notice the tattoo on my chest for the first time and squinted. It was my mother’s name intertwined with roses and barbed wire.

“Libby. Your mother.” She smiled.

“Yeah. Got this about a year after Mum died.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I said as I slipped into the water behind her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her into me, resting my chin on her head before I kissed the top of it. Many thoughts went round and round in my mind. Was I crazy for thinking that this could somehow work? I knew how badly I wanted it to, but was that enough?

“A part of me wishes I could just stay here in this water with you forever and not have to worry about anything else,” I said.

“If I was the type of person who fit into your lifestyle, you wouldn’t be feeling that way. This would be easy.”

“Just because something is easy doesn’t make it better. We have our issues. But being with you still feels better than anything in the world. Sometimes the best things are also the most challenging. And that’s just the way it is.”