Diary of a Bad Boy(8)
Roark
SUTTON
“I hate life.” I flop down on the table, my little backpack crashing onto the table top.
“Hey, watch it,” Maddie says, picking up her coffee and holding it away as she studies me. “I’m guessing you didn’t get your phone back?”
“No, he cancelled on me last night as I was trying to battle the bouncer to get into the club.”
“What do you mean?” She sips from her cup, peering at me.
“The d-bag said I would be on the list to get in, but when I got there, the bouncer said there was no one on the list under ‘phone girl’ and if I was going to try to sneak in, I should be more creative with my name, because no one would believe me otherwise.”
Maddie snorts and then covers her mouth. “That’s kind of funny.”
“It wasn’t.” I angrily slam the table. “It wasn’t funny, especially once the line behind me started mocking me as I made the walk of shame down the sidewalk. I don’t think I’ve ever met a bigger jerk in my entire life.”
“What about Joseph Aphern? Remember him from freshman year? He kept stealing your pens in that British lit class.”
“This guy is way worse than Joseph. It’s like he takes joy in keeping my phone away from me. What happened to Good Samaritans? Are we so jaded as a society that we can’t simply return a girl’s phone?”
“To be fair,” Maddie says with a tilt of her head, “he is attempting to give it back, just in his own time.”
“In his time, exactly.” I toss his phone on the table, multiple missed calls gone unanswered, texts from random women plugged into his phone under descriptions rather than names. “It’s so rude, and look at all these missed correspondences.” I scoot the phone toward Maddie who picks it up.
“Who says correspondence?” Maddie scrunches her nose and then thumbs through the home screen, taking in all the notifications. “My, my, my. I wonder who Brunette Mole Tit is. Oh, and look at this—Redhead Screams Loud.”
“There’s also Redhead Long Tits, Blonde Crazy Eyes, and Green Eyes Sucks Hard.”
Maddie chuckles. “Green Eyes Sucks Hard sounds like a good time.”
“They’re all labeled like that in his phone. Can’t he get their names? Is that too much trouble?”
“Well, after the trouble you’ve gone through with him, I’m going to assume gathering a name might very well be too difficult for him.”
I slouch on the table and let out a long breath. “I can’t stand the guy, and I don’t even know him. But don’t worry, he said if I needed something to look at, I could paw through the naked pics on his phone.”
Maddie’s eyes go wide as she fumbles with the phone. “He has naked pics on here? Does he have a big penis? I feel like he would.”
“Not naked pics of himself.” Although I can’t be sure. “Naked selfies from girls.”
“What? Seriously?” Maddie lays the phone on the table and opens the photo album.
“What are you doing?” I try to take the phone away but she swats at my hand.
“I’m just checking . . . Oh my God, he does have naked pics in here.” Her head springs up and a wicked gleam crosses her face. “Do you know what you should do?”
“Am I going to like this?”
“I think you will. Let’s send your friend a little threatening text. Really get his attention.”
I prop my chin on my hand. “Do you really think we can get his attention?”
“Oh yeah.”
She types away and then holds the phone out to me to read her already sent text message.
Sutton: [Picture of naked blonde] You have two options, either meet me at the Starbucks on 58th at noon today, or all your precious pics are going to be deleted from your phone.
I laugh and look up at Maddie. “Oh, that’s good. Do you think it’s going to work?”
“One hundred percent.” She sits back with her cup of coffee. “He’s going to be putty in your hands.”
Sutton: Did you see my text message?
Sutton: It’s 11, an hour away from deleting every naked picture on your phone.
Sutton: Don’t think I won’t do it. Because I will. I will delete it all.
Sutton: Hello???
Roark: Christ, woman. Just delete it. I have everything backed up in the cloud. But if it makes you feel vengeful, go ahead and delete.
Sutton: You’re so infuriating! Why won’t you just meet me?
Roark: Some of us have to work.
Sutton: I work! And how can you possibly work when I have your phone?
Roark: I have an office. My life isn’t all in one device.
Sutton: You have an office? That’s hard to believe. What do you do? Pimp out all the girls on your phone?
Roark: I’m detecting a hint of jealousy.
Sutton: You wish.
Roark: Nah, couldn’t really care less.
Sutton: Will you just tell me when we can meet?
Sutton: Hello?
“I really don’t think there are any more decent men in this city.” I stroke Louise, my cat, on the back. “Because if there were, I wouldn’t have to deal with the constant buzzing of this godforsaken phone, and I would have mine back. He’s making me lose my mind. Really lose it, Louise. I yelled at a taxi driver today, and I never do that, but I was so fed up I took my anger out on the poor man and told him he needed to wash his seats. Granted, they were very dirty seats and could stand a rinse down, but I didn’t have to embarrass the man like that, call him out on the hygiene of his ride.”