Diary of a Bad Boy(57)
It takes her a few minutes, but then she moves her head to the side and tries to look at me from over her shoulder. I make it hard as my grip around her waist tightens, and I try to bury my head in her hair, her seductive, lavender-scented hair.
“Roark.”
“Hmm,” I answer, sleep starting to consume me.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I kiss her ear as my hand drifts to her breast where I palm it, as if it’s my own personal snuggle pillow.
“You’re really hard.”
“I know.”
“Let me take care of it.” She starts to move but I stop her.
“No. Just lie here with me. Let me hold you.”
“Roark, that’s not fair.” She starts to move her body along my shaft but I stop her.
“Just sleep with me, Sutton. Please.” On a heavy sigh, she acquiesces and allows me to pull her in even closer. “Thank you,” I whisper in her ear.
It’s the last thing I remember before I wake up . . . and bolt.
Chapter Thirteen
Dear Sir,
This entry doesn’t even deserve a name.
I fucked up, royally. I know I did, and I didn’t need to be confronted about it.
It’s seven in the morning and instead of lying in Sutton’s lavender haven, snuggled next to her, I bolted the minute she turned on her shower.
Did I leave a note?
Nope.
Didn’t even shoot her a text. Just left.
I panicked, because I woke up this morning feeling . . . fuck, feeling like I was on top of the world. Even after a heavy night of drinking, nothing could have brought me down, except the knowledge that one person did that to me—brought me to the pinnacle of happiness. And that made me panic.
Sutton makes me happy. I’ve never said that about another person, which is terrifying as well. But I can’t deny what I feel whenever she’s around. The only problem? I know I can’t treat that feeling the way she wants me to. She wants a man, deserves a man, who’s going to be there for her, take care of her, emotionally and physically. I can’t deliver in that way.
This morning was a prime example of that.
And I can’t give you an explanation as to why I left, other than, I panicked. Now I have to take a flight to Texas and spend two weeks on a goddamn ranch with her.
The flight attendant is going to be very busy bringing me drinks today.
Roark
SUTTON
“Aren’t you in Texas?”
“Yes,” I answer, holding back the tears threatening to fall.
“Then what’s the emergency?”
I lean my head against my childhood headboard and scrunch down into my covers, my heart heavy in my chest. I look to the side, my nose burning from the emotions bubbling up inside me.
After I got out of the shower and saw that Roark had left, without even a note, I stood in the middle of my apartment, shocked.
Then anger took over, and I was tempted to text him, to give him a piece of my mind, but knowing Roark, he’d probably sweet talk his way back into my good graces. He’s sharp on text, and I couldn’t do that to myself. So I turned my phone off, finished packing for Texas, and headed to the airport.
I held it together for the six hours of travel until I got to the ranch, went to my room, and collapsed on my bed. That’s when embarrassment followed by anger hit me.
How dare he? After I told him I couldn’t do this back and forth tango. He still messed with my head . . . messed with a small piece of my heart.
“Roark came over last night.”
“Oh yummy. Did you do anything exciting? Did you touch his penis?”
“No, but he did go down on me.” I remember the euphoric feeling he delivered. “I’ve never felt anything like it before, Maddie. I came so hard I didn’t think it was going to stop.”
“Well . . . that just made me horny.”
“Maddie, I’m trying to be serious here.”
“So am I, tell me more.”
“He left when I was in the shower.”
Silence.
“Wait, what? He left? Did he leave a note?”
“No.” He didn’t leave anything except his scent and a reason for my humiliation. I wipe a stray tear away. “A few days ago I told him I couldn’t do this ambiguous thing anymore. He could date me, or we had to go back to being colleagues only.”
“Wow, Sutton. I’m totally impressed. What did he say to that?”
“Not much. I guess that’s my fault. I didn’t get a steady answer from him. He came over last night, and I was going to turn him away, but when I saw the look in his eyes, I believed he wanted more. And then, things escalated and before I knew it I was naked and he was between my legs.”
“That’s so hot.”
“Maddie,” I groan. “Please.”
“Okay, yeah, sorry. Best friend duties. Uh . . . well, I’m sorry he’s a dick, but at least you got an orgasm out of it.”
There she is, always looking at the positive side of things.
“Yeah, the best orgasm of my life.” I sigh. It was beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.
“He seems like a guy who delivers life-changing orgasms. His eyes alone promise it. Let’s think about this rationally. You’re not in love with him, right?”