Descendant of the Crane(95)

“Forgive me.” Caiyan’s head was still bowed; the ground received those two words, not Hesina. It gave her small relief. She wasn’t sure if she could forgive him, even if Lilian had willed her twin’s actions. Lilian had damned herself, but Caiyan had driven in the knife. Hesina couldn’t forget this any more than she could bring her sister back to life.

The Minister of Works stepped forward. “If I may, dianxia,” he ventured, breaking the extended silence. “I’d like to defend Viscount Yan Caiyan. He acted as he saw necessary. No one else was in the position to do the same, not without putting your life at risk.”

The others echoed in agreement. They could just as easily have been demanding Caiyan’s arrest, but by quite literally cutting his blood ties, he appeared to have dodged any and all suspicion.

Unnerved, Hesina raised a hand, and the assembly quieted. “What Minister Zhou says is true,” she forced out. “For saving my life, I am in your debt. You shall have anything you request.”

Caiyan deepened his bow. “I’d like to be granted command of the city guard.”

She stilled. “You are a court official of great learning.” You are inexperienced with martial matters.

“They require a disciplined leader dedicated to maintaining the newfound peace.”

“You are currently overseeing the examinations.” You are preoccupied.

“The first round is set to begin tomorrow.”

Her eyes narrowed. You are in mourning. But she couldn’t say it. No one in this hall was supposed to mourn a kingslayer, not even her.

There were a hundred other things she couldn’t say: Who are you, Yan Caiyan? My advisor? A viscount of the court? A brother—who killed his own sister? Why do I find it harder and harder to read you?

But it was too late to retract her offer. “Then the city guard is yours to command.”

Caiyan lifted his head. For the briefest of moments, an indescribable emotion darkened his features. But maybe Hesina was seeing what she wanted to see, because by the next second he was kneeling in koutou, rising, and melting back into the ranks without so much as a flicker of remorse.

The director of the Investigation Bureau came forward to take his place. “There is one last matter, dianxia.”

“Speak.”

He turned to the guards flanking the doors. “Bring him in.”

I am amber. I am stone. But then the double doors opened and the guards dragged in Akira. Two shoved him before the dais. Another threw down his rod. Reflexively, Hesina rose.

“At the fifth gong strike this morning,” said the director, “this young man was caught in an act of thievery.”

“What did he steal?”

Xia Zhong stepped forward. “My finest collection of Tenets.”

There was something lewd about the minister and the director standing side by side, both knowing very well that Hesina could do nothing to stop them. Her gaze tore to Akira, who’d dragged himself up. He didn’t look at her. He must have learned of Lilian’s fate, must have realized that Hesina would fail him like she’d failed her own sister. Wiping the blood off his split lip, he reached for his rod.

A guard struck his sword down. The rod split in two with a crack that halved Hesina.

“I don’t require remuneration,” prompted Xia Zhong. “I raise my concern for the sake of palace security.”

He said this all with a glint in his fishlike eyes. Pardon him, if you dare.

In another life, Hesina would do more than dare. She’d pardon Akira and finish strangling Xia Zhong. But with every eye pinned on the imperial city, she couldn’t risk compromising her position, not by issuing suspicious pardons or by ruffling the feathers of her oldest minister.

Defeated, she sank back into the throne.

Finish this in style.

“Arrest him,” Hesina said, closing her eyes so that she wouldn’t have to see the order carried out.

She should have covered her ears instead.

“The dungeons aren’t a bad place to stay.” The low lilt of Akira’s voice punctured her, and the willpower keeping her in the throne gushed out. “No rules, no expectations, no poison in the goblet—”

The doors shut with a resounding groan.

Hesina stayed behind after everyone left, until the urge to bolt to dungeons and explain herself to Akira withered, along with every other sensation.

Numb, she descended the dais. She wandered through the facades, letting her feet lead the way, and almost laughed when she saw where they’d guided her.

To be fair, she would have come to Caiyan in the past. If she were a house, he was the beam holding her up. But now she couldn’t even look at the carved herons rising out of his chamber doors without seeing his hands all over again, right clasped over left, knuckles seeded with blood.

She squeezed her eyes shut, spots of light puckering beneath the lids. She reopened them. Stared at the doors. Lifted a hand to knock. Dropped it. Let his name rise in her throat. Swallowed it. Hesina wanted answers, but what did she have to give in return? I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her? Sorry I couldn’t even secure a proper burial? Caiyan might have driven in the knife, but Hesina had capitalized on Lilian’s sacrifice.

Neither of them had the face to confront each other.

She turned to go. Four steps forward. Four steps back.

She barged through the doors.