Dead Memories (D.I. Kim Stone #10)(55)

Kim thought about the moment she’d been staring down the toilet pan after running out of the morgue. ‘Alison, I don’t need—’

‘Hear me out. I don’t know how you manage your past, whether it’s separation, ignorance, denial or a mixture of them all, but I can tell you that your normal techniques, your way of getting through an average day, are no match for the stress of having all your demons thrown into your face.’

Kim took a deep breath and looked away, hating again that everyone knew it was her demons they were fighting.

‘See, the problem isn’t so much being forced to remember all the bad shit, it’s the analysis of it that’s the real issue. You can’t glance at it like a billboard and look away, allowing the memory to drift safely back to the place you’ve stored it. To solve this case, to find out who is behind it you’re being forced to analyse, inspect and dissect it all for clues and leads.’

Kim met her gaze and was surprised to see empathy and understanding in the woman’s eyes.

‘Basically, you’re being forced to relive every horrific event, and I swear that at some time in the future it’s going to make you do something you later regret.’





Seventy-One





Alison had just about thrown off her irritation with the detective inspector when she entered the hospital foyer. Trying to get the woman to understand that she wasn’t the enemy was turning out to be a complete waste of time. Her words and advice were going nowhere and she had the feeling she was watching a high-speed car travel towards a wall with no way to stop it.

She had offered as much warning as she could, she resolved, as she said her name into the loudspeaker and was buzzed through.

Valerie was sorting papers at the desk.

‘How is she?’ Alison asked.

‘Same, I’m afraid. Not responsive yet but we’ve not given up hope.’

Alison was glad to hear it.

She thanked the nurse and headed away from the desk.

‘Good to see that your mother finally arrived,’ Valerie said, quietly.

Alison’s step faltered. ‘Wh… what?’

‘Your mother is with her now. I assumed you’d want to know. It could have been quite the shock for you seeing as you told me she was dead.’

Alison felt the heat surge into her cheeks. She tried to think of a way around the lie.

‘Don’t bother,’ Valerie said. ‘You’re a terrible liar. Has anyone ever told you that?’

Recently, a few people, she thought.

‘I’m sorry for lying. I should—’

‘I knew the first time you came, but no one else had been to see her. She’d been completely alone.’

‘So, you just let me in?’

Valerie shrugged and half smiled. ‘You looked smart enough and I read that the guy who attacked her was in custody. You weren’t a risk to her.’

Alison couldn’t believe that she, as a total stranger, had been allowed to sit beside the bed of an attack victim for hours on end.

‘You seemed so sad, so sorry and lost that—’

‘You let me in because I was sad?’ Alison asked.

Valerie smile. ‘No, I let you in because I have this,’ she said, pointing beneath the rising of the desk.

Alison looked over. A single screen displayed four screens.

‘CCTV?’

‘I was watching you the whole time.’

Alison hadn’t even known there was CCTV.

‘Look, I don’t know what your deal is but her family is with her now. There’s nothing more you can do for her.’

Suddenly Alison realised there was someone she could apologise to that might help relieve the burden that was like a chain attached to her body, being dragged wherever she walked.

‘Can I just go and speak to her mother?’

‘Depends,’ Valerie said. ‘Do you have anything to give her? Any comfort? Any reassurance? Anything that will make looking at her daughter in that state any easier to bear?’

Alison thought and then shook her head.

‘Then no, I’d rather you left them alone.’

Alison understood that there was nothing more she could do.

Except one thing.

‘Do you have her belongings?’ Alison asked.

‘I’m not sure I want to know why you’re asking me that but no, everything was taken away by the police once she was taken into surgery.’

Damn, of course. It was painfully clear that she was no detective.

‘But of course, we removed everything from her and listed it. When a victim is alive their personal safety comes before the preservation of evidence and I was not about to let those officers or crime scene guys touch her.’

Alison couldn’t hide her smile.

‘And obviously we log it all for chain of evidence and to cover ourselves,’ she said, reaching behind for a lever arch file.

She licked her finger and leafed past the first couple of sheets before turning it towards her.

Alison saw Valerie’s signature next to DCI Merton’s to agree the items handed over.

Alison read down the list:

Trousers

Tee shirt

Bra

Pants

Sandal x 2

Handbag – brown