Daughters of the Lake(80)

But that one city block before the intersection was completely empty. There were no other houses between their home and the main street. It was a grassy field on both sides. When she assured Jess that she could find the doctor when the baby was on its way, she didn’t realize she would have to do it blindly.

“I must go or have this baby alone,” Addie said aloud. She reached for her coat that was hanging behind the door and wrapped it around her. She stood there for a good, long while, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not force herself to step beyond her own threshold. The words she had heard in her head two weeks before were still ringing in her ears. You will die on April 24. That was today’s date. Was this some sort of dark prophecy fulfilled? Would she lose her way in the fog and die giving birth? She had no wish to find out. She would not creep out into that dense, white, living thing.

The pains were coming regularly now, and they were so intense that she doubled over with the force of it. Addie closed the door, made her way back to the sofa, and lay down. There was no choice now. It was beyond her control. She knew she would have to get through the birth of this baby completely alone. I can do this. Women have done this for generations. My mother did this. She was alone when I was born. Mama, where are you?

Addie watched the flames dance and tickle the logs and lost herself in their power to mesmerize. If only Jess were here. He would find the doctor. He would bring him to the house. He would make sure she wasn’t alone when the baby came. Addie had heard stories, whispered among the women of Great Bay, of children who died trying to come into the world feet first, and their poor mothers, who died trying to push them free. Would such a thing happen to her? Calm down. I can do this. I am strong. I’ll get through this.

Despite the calming thoughts she kept replaying in her mind, Addie knew she was at the mercy of nature, at the mercy of her own body. She could not stop this baby from coming. She could not stop these pains long enough for the fog to lift. She could not summon the doctor with the sheer force of her will. Her life, and her baby’s life, were now out of her hands.

The pain became so intense that Addie felt herself begin to hover above her own body. As she lay on her back, she took note of her belly, her legs, and her arms, but it was in a detached sort of way, as though she was watching it all occur from elsewhere. The only thing that was real was the pain, the incredible flood of intensity that began in her belly and radiated out into every cell of her body; every inch of her being was pulsing and vibrating with a pain so enormous that it engulfed the whole world.

She felt a coolness between her legs. Water, a flood of it. Somewhere deep inside, beneath all that pain, Addie’s mind was screaming that the baby was coming, it was very near. But Addie didn’t hear it. She wasn’t a thinking being at that moment, she was only the pain. Pain was all there was. It was as though Addie herself were an infant, she was the baby being born, unable to think or reason or articulate her wants, needs, and desires. She was simply a mass of pain that existed for one thing—relief. An end to this suffering.

A song, then, an ancient, familiar song, calling her name, beckoning her near.

Addie summoned all her strength, rose from the sofa, and stumbled toward the kitchen door. Relief. She opened the door. A warm hand, comforting me. A soothing embrace. Relief. An end to the pain. I’m coming. Water.

In the firm grasp of childbirth, Addie had no way of knowing that three people were, at that very moment, on the way toward her house. One was worried about her, so near her due date, with fog shrouding the city. One was drawn there by something unknown. The third was coming to kill her.





CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Kate stumbled down a foggy path toward the lake, doubled over in pain. Childbirth. This is what it must feel like. She could not stand upright, the pain was so great. Kate turned and looked up the hill behind her—she could make out a house hovering there, in the fog. Addie’s house. She could see no other houses anywhere in the distance. She was alone, in the fog, at the water’s edge.

Kate watched herself dunk her feet in the water, which she expected to be freezing cold. She braced for the chill but didn’t feel it. To Kate, it felt like scented, oiled bath water, warm, almost velvety to the touch. It felt so wonderful, in contrast to the pain that was raging through her body, that Kate wanted nothing more than to submerge herself in that comforting, soothing bath and float away.

She felt it then, a sharp pain in her back, then another, then another. Addie turned to look into the face of her murderer. This should hurt more than it does were the first words that went through Kate’s mind when she realized what had occurred. Addie had been stabbed. Kate was witnessing the last moments of Addie’s life.

No, not the baby. Save the baby. I’ve got to save the baby.

She slumped into the water and felt a delicate warmth, like feathers massaging her legs. Somewhere, outside of herself now, she felt the baby was coming, but Kate didn’t care, she only knew that she needed to lie back. She turned and stretched out onto the surface of the water, as though she were reclining onto a bed. Its warmth overtook her and held her, suspended, on the surface of the lake. This is what it feels like to die. This really isn’t so bad.

Kate felt her eyelids, heavy, so heavy, closing, then opening again with every twinge of pain. She wasn’t thinking clearly, but she was present enough to know that Addie was vacillating between consciousness and sleep, or what seemed to be sleep. The baby is coming.