Daisy Jones & The Six(70)

I rented a cabin with this guy Chris. He and I moved in the same circles and I’d been seeing him whenever I was in town. We spent the holidays together in Big Bear. We made dinners together and went in the hot tub and played cards. For Christmas, I gave him a sweater and he gave me a day planner. And I thought, I want to be normal.

Daisy: Nicky and I flew to Rome for Christmas.

Eddie: Over the holiday, Pete asked Jenny to marry him and she said yes. I was real happy for him, you know? I gave him a big hug. He said, “I have to figure out when I’m going to tell everybody. I don’t know how they are gonna take it.”

I said, “What are you talking about? Nobody cares if you’re married.”

He said, “No, I’m leaving.”

I said, “Leaving?”

He said, “At the end of the tour, I’m quitting the band.”

We were at our parents’ house in the den. I said, “What are you talking about? Quitting the band?”

He said, “I told you I didn’t want to do this forever.”

I said, “You never said that.”

He said, “I’ve said that a thousand times to you. I told you this stuff doesn’t matter.”

I said, “You’re talking about giving all of this up for Jenny? Really?”

He said, “Not really for Jenny. For me. So I can get on with my life.”

I said, “What does that mean?”

He said, “I never wanted to be in a soft rock band. C’mon. You know that. I got on the train, I rode it for a little while. But my stop’s coming up.”

Daisy: Nicky and I got into a fight in the hotel room in Italy. He accused me of sleeping with Billy back in Kansas. I had no idea what he was even talking about. I didn’t even talk to Billy in Kansas. But he said he’d known for weeks and he was sick of watching me try to hide it. Things got intense, really quickly. I threw a few bottles at him. He smashed his hand through the window. I remember looking down and seeing gray tears falling down my face. They were stained with my mascara and eyeliner. I don’t remember exactly how it happened but one of my hoops got ripped out of my ear. Cut clear through. I was bleeding and crying and the room was trashed. And the next thing I know Nicky is holding me and we’re promising to never leave each other’s side and never fight like that again and I remember thinking, If this is what love is like, maybe I don’t want it.

Rod: We had booked Daisy’s flight to get in a full day early for the show in Seattle. I had her come in early because I was nervous she’d miss her flight and I needed to make sure we had a margin of error.

Daisy: The morning we were supposed to fly to Seattle, I woke up and Nicky was sitting over me. I realized I was soaking wet, sleeping in the base of the shower. I was groggy and confused but by that point I always woke up groggy and confused. I said, “What happened?”

He said, “I thought maybe you overdosed. On the Seconals or something. I couldn’t remember what else we took.” You know what happens when people overdose on Seconals? They die.

I said, “So you put me in the shower?”

He said, “I tried to wake you up. I didn’t know what else to do. You wouldn’t wake up. I was so scared.”

I looked at him and my heart just sank. Because, while I have no idea whether or not I overdosed or what exactly happened that night, I could tell he had been truly terrified.

And all he did was put me in the shower.

My husband believed I might die. And he didn’t so much as even call the concierge.

A switch flipped in me. It was like one of those breaker switches … Like on a circuit box. You know how they take a lot of pressure to flip? But then once they catch, they switch over with force? I switched over. I knew, right then and there, that I needed to get away from this person. That I had to take care of myself. Because if I didn’t …

He wasn’t gonna kill me but he would let me die.

I said, “Okay, thank you for watching me.” I said, “You must be tired. Why don’t you take a nap?” And then, when he was asleep, I packed all my things. I took both plane tickets and I went to the airport. When I got there, I found a pay phone. I called the hotel. I said, “I need to leave a message for Niccolo Argento in room 907.”

The lady said okay. Actually, she probably said, “Bene.”

I said, “Write, ‘Lola La Cava wants a divorce.’ ”

Warren: When we all got back after hiatus, that show in Seattle … Daisy seemed, I don’t know, lucid.

I said, “Where’s Niccolo?”

And Daisy said, “That period of my life is over.” That was it. End of discussion. I thought that was badass.

Simone: She called me and said she’d left Niccolo in Italy and I started clapping.

Karen: She started making sense when you were talking to her. She started showing up clearheaded to sound checks.

Daisy: I would not, unfortunately, use the word sober. But you know what? I showed up places on time. I did start doing that.

Billy: I don’t think I had realized just how much of her was gone until it was back.

Daisy: I had gotten back to being aware of myself onstage, those first months away from Nicky. Of being aware of my relationship with the audience. I started making a point to be in bed by a certain time and awake by a certain time. I had rules about when to do what drugs. Only coke at night, only six dexies at a time, or whatever number I’d come up with. Only champagne and brandy.