Daisy Darker(91)

‘I’ll be back soon, I promise,’ she says, attaching Poppins’ lead to her collar. ‘The pen Nana’s agent gave you the night that you died is still in your dress pocket,’ Trixie adds. She’s right. I take out the special silver pen with four colours, and find Nana’s agent’s business card too. I stare at his name and the address of his office in London. ‘Perhaps writing your own story is the only way you get to escape this life? Maybe telling the truth about what happened is your unfinished business? Nana’s agent told you he’d read a story about the real Daisy Darker if you wrote it, do you remember? I won’t be long, Aunty Daisy. Come on, Poppins!’

I retreat inside the darkroom of my mind, trying to develop a picture of a future that would be more appealing, but all I see is black. I rush to catch up with Trixie, but she closes the front door behind her and I can’t seem to open it. She’s right; I can’t walk through walls. I bang on the door, but it doesn’t make a sound. I peer out of the tiny round window in the hallway; it’s like a porthole on a boat, and I do feel as though I am trapped on a sinking ship. My view of Trixie and Poppins gets smaller and smaller as they walk across the causeway, leaving me behind. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love my niece the way that I used to. Sometimes we love monsters without knowing that’s what they are.

I love this house too. I never wanted to leave it. Until now.

The eighty clocks surrounding me in the hallway start to strike seven and the noise is deafening. I stare at the punch clock and see the faded card with my name on. The last date stamped on it says 1988. I run up the stairs to my bedroom and find Conor’s laptop on the desk where he left it. The cursor is flashing on the screen, and the word that I wrote last night is still there:

Boo!

The letters disappear one by one, and are replaced with something new:





DAISY DARKER


My fingers tremble when I have finished typing what I hope might be the title of my story. I feel for the business card in my pocket, take it out and stare at the agent’s name again.

I wonder if I could really write a book.

I wonder if I could really tell the truth.

There is so much we don’t know we don’t know.

The tide is out now and the sun is just starting to rise above Seaglass, casting the sky in streaks of pink and purple. I’ve always thought that dawn is the most beautiful time – shining a light on the clean slate of a new day. A chance to start again. The birds are swooping and singing above the waves in Blacksand Bay, and as I look out towards the ocean, I spot a pod of dolphins in the distance. The sound of the sea is serenading what feels like my final scene.

I want to be free.

I wonder if anyone will ever read the story I want to write?

The eighty clocks downstairs are quiet again, and I enjoy the silence as I type the first few words on the blank page: I was born with a broken heart. I spent my whole life hiding inside stories when the real world got too loud. I don’t know if anyone will ever read mine. There are some stories only time will tell.





Acknowledgements




Books are a bit like children for authors, we’re not really allowed to have favourites, but Daisy Darker is mine. I first had the idea for Daisy in 2015 and it took me over five years to write her story. I wouldn’t have been able to write it at all without the following people.

Forever thank you to Jonny Geller for being the best agent in the known universe and one of the best humans I know. And forever thank you to Kari Stuart, my Mary Poppins, and agent extraordinaire. I don’t think I can remember how to exist without these two people, and I feel very lucky and eternally grateful to have them in my life.

Thank you to Kate Cooper and Nadia Mokdad for all the translations of my novels. Seeing my books out in the world will never be anything less than magic, and Kate and Nadia are my favourite magicians. Thank you to Josie Freedman, Luke Speed and Anna Weguelin for the screen adaptations of my stories. And thank you to everyone else at Curtis Brown and ICM who do so much for me and my books, especially Viola Hayden, Ciara Finan and Sophie Storey (a.k.a. the Geller Office Book Club!).

Huge thanks to my editor in the UK, the one and only Wayne Brookes, and the rest of the brilliant team at Pan Macmillan. Thank you for believing in Daisy, and for turning this story into such a beautiful book. And huge thanks to my US editor, Christine Kopprasch, and the brilliant team at Flatiron. I feel so lucky to be working with the best in the business on both sides of the pond. I’m also very grateful to all of my foreign publishers who take such good care of my novels.

Thank you to everyone who helped with the research for this book, with special thanks to the loveliest vet in the land, Louise Ketteridge, for letting me shadow her at her practice. The experience changed the plot in more ways than one. Thank you to the beautiful Cornish coast for inspiring the setting of this book. I have been visiting the same secluded spot on my birthday for years, and I picture Daisy and Seaglass there every time.

Thank you to the librarians, booksellers, journalists and book reviewers who have been so kind about my books. And thank you to all the book bloggers, and bookstagrammers . . . I love seeing your beautiful pictures from all around the world. My books travel far more than I do these days, and I am quite jealous.

Thank you to my Daniel who is my first reader, my best friend, and my favourite human. Thank you to Diggi, for being the most wonderful writing companion and the best dog in the world. My final and biggest thank you is to my readers. I wouldn’t be here without you. This book is for you.