Daisy Darker(52)

‘But the doctors said that—’

‘Pay no attention to the Doctors of Doom. They’ve been taught how to fix people, but not how to feel. You can do anything. You can be anyone. You just have to believe it.’ She took the tray of uneaten hospital food that was next to the bed, and tipped everything that had been on it into the bin. Then she put a red-and-white tablecloth over the sheets, and put an elaborate-looking cake stand on top. It was covered with posh sandwiches and cakes . . . a takeaway afternoon tea from the Ritz. We started with scones, clotted cream on top of the jam, the Cornish way.

‘The hospital food is terrible, no wonder you don’t eat it. I decided to smuggle something better in. I don’t want you starving, and I don’t care what the doctors think,’ said Nana, taking a bite of her scone and getting cream on her nose. ‘You’re going to be just fine. People told me I’d never be a published author, but here I am. I believe that you can be whoever you want to be too. Forget what other people say about you, and write your own story.’

I’ve thought a lot about what Nana said that day. Her words played on a loop inside my head and had a profound effect on me. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful about the future again. Her believing that I had one made me believe it too. I decided that she was right, and from that moment on, I was determined to prove those doctors wrong.

I might have been young, but I could tell that my mother came to visit me in hospital out of a sense of duty and my nana came to visit out of love. Sometimes people confuse love and duty, but they are not the same. Neither were the women in my childhood.

‘Thank you for coming to visit me, Nana,’ I said. I felt overwhelmingly sad as I watched her put the pink and purple coat back on, preparing to leave the hospital.

‘It was my pleasure, Daisy Chain. Just you remember to come and visit me at Seaglass when I am old and lonely.’

‘I will.’

‘Hope so. Just between us, you’re my favourite.’

I like to think she meant that. I wanted to be someone’s favourite something. Didn’t really mind what. When I think about Nana being gone from my life forever, I feel more broken than I ever have before. She was the only one who ever really believed in me, and I don’t know how to exist without her.

Secrets are like unpaid debts: they pile up, and too much interest is best avoided. I’m not as sweet and innocent as everyone thinks I am. Just because I don’t spend my life complaining like one sister, or thinking I’m better than everyone else like the other, it doesn’t mean I don’t have occasional dark thoughts. Nana’s book, Daisy Darker’s Little Secret, was a bestseller all over the world. I know some people thought the character was based on me, but the real Daisy Darker was never quite as sweet or broken as everyone wanted to believe. I have a secret of my own. And some secrets are worth killing to keep.





Twenty-six



31 October 2:50 a.m.

less than four hours until low tide

‘What time is it now?’ Lily asks.

‘Five minutes since the last time you asked me,’ Rose replies.

‘Really? It feels so much longer.’

I agree. Time moves more slowly when your heart is broken, and theirs are surely broken now too. Time stretches so that seconds seem like minutes, and minutes seem more like hours. It’s starting to feel as though I’ve been trapped inside this house with my family forever.

Lily shakes her head. ‘Is there no way we can try to leave Seaglass now? Waiting here like sitting ducks for another three hours seems like madness. My car is parked in the sand dunes across the causeway. We could all drive to the police station in town together? Get help? I don’t want to be here anymore.’

‘None of us want to be here anymore,’ says Conor.

‘You know we can’t leave until the tide goes out,’ says Rose. ‘Not without a boat.’

Lily has started pacing the room. ‘Can’t we make a boat? There must be something that would float? We could take one of the doors off its hinges?’

Rose sighs. ‘Can you hear the storm outside? Can you hear the waves crashing on the rocks, out there in the darkness? Do you remember how dangerous Blacksand Bay is to swim in at the best of times? Are you really suggesting that we should try and float to safety on an old door? Should we use wooden spoons for paddles?’ There is something unusually unkind about my eldest sister’s tone. Lily goes back to her pacing, and Rose starts biting her nails.

‘I think we’re all very upset and very tired, but maybe we could try to be a little bit kinder to each other? Nobody in this room is to blame for what has happened here tonight,’ I say, and it seems to do the trick.

‘I’m sorry,’ says Rose. ‘I know you’re scared, Lily. We all are, but this situation must be even more terrifying after what happened to Trixie.’

‘I thought you said I just fainted in the hall?’ Trixie says.

‘That’s right,’ Rose replies, realizing her mistake. ‘But it gave us all a fright, especially your mum. We just have to wait a little while longer, then we can leave.’

Rose checks her watch again. She’s been doing that a lot since she arrived last night. And it was Rose who said that Conor’s boat was gone, that the rope tying it to the jetty looked as though it had been cut. She’s the only one who left the house – as far as I know. What if she cut it herself? I try to stop thinking the worst about everyone in the room, but it’s impossible to know who to trust. I’m sure they’re all doing the same.