Cytonic (Skyward #3)(32)

When the ships were out of sight, I hurried back to check on Chet—and found that he’d vanished. There was just the large pile of dirt heaped up on the front of the fragment near where the collision had happened.

That dirt stirred, then Chet appeared, digging himself out from where he’d apparently hidden himself. He brushed the dirt from his jacket, then spat out a little of it and grinned at me. “Not my most noble of escapes, but better than becoming a floor washer!”

“How goes the planning?” I asked him.

“A little more time, if you please.”

I wandered a bit farther away—maybe twenty meters—and climbed up a small rock formation near the edge of the fragment. I stood tall, looking into the distance and admiring the view of the various nearby fragments, one of which was streaming water into the void.

Hands on my hips, I took a deep breath and couldn’t help but grin. Scud, I was loving this. The feeling I’d had the day before—the joy of traveling with Chet—expanded. Now I’d seen firsthand that the quest was useful to me.

Exploring a strange frontier? Being forced to use some physical prowess for once? Running, climbing, jumping, and being chased by monsters? It really did feel as if I’d slipped into one of Gran-Gran’s stories. Where I belonged. Where things were right. It was genuinely satisfying to have my life depend on whether I could escape a crumbling fragment—rather than on how well I could imitate an alien on Starsight.

I settled down on the rocks. My friends were in trouble, and I did miss them. Terribly. What I wouldn’t give to be able to share this trip with them.



M-Bot hovered over, and I smiled at him. I had at least one friend here. I put my arm around his drone and pointed outward at the fragments. “What do you see?” I asked him.

“Chunks of matter.”

“I see adventure,” I said. “I see mysteries and striking beauty. Watch the water shimmer as it falls. Doesn’t it look gorgeous?”

“Somewhat,” he admitted. “Like…little bits twinkling on and off…”

“That’s what emotions are for,” I said. “Partially. It’s not their only purpose, but it’s an important one. Do you understand that part?”

“No,” he said. “But I’m closer, maybe. I guess…I guess I wouldn’t know how great mushrooms were without feeling something when I find them. Right?”

I smiled. “I’m glad I’m here with you, M-Bot. I know you were hesitant about entering. But thank you for being my friend, for joining me.”

He wobbled in a nod. “But Spensa? I’m…still sad.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I’ve spent years upon years’ worth of processing time imagining what Commander Spears would be like. Now we’ve met him and…and he just calls me an abomination.”

“He’s coming around,” I said. “The longer he spends with you, the more he’ll see that he was wrong. But even if he doesn’t, who cares? I’m your pilot now. And I think you’re great.”

“Thanks…”

“What?”

“I said thanks. I don’t believe that statement requires qualification.”

“Yeah, but you left it dangling,” I said. “Something’s still bothering you.”

“You can tell that? How?”



“Gut feeling.”

“I don’t have guts,” M-Bot said. “So I guess you’re the expert. But…if you need to know, the bigger problem is that I’m still kind of mad at you.”

“For leaving you behind when I left Starsight?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“I thought you forgave me for that.”

“I thought I did too. But I keep remembering it. Is that…normal?”

“It is for humans. Sometimes it’s too easy to forget the things you should remember—and far too easy to remember the things you really should forget.”

“It’s doubly so for me,” he said, “since I literally can’t forget things unless they’re deleted, or at least commented out of my code.”

I leaned back, putting my hands behind me to support myself as I sat and thought on what he’d said. Scud, he’d given up a lot in all of this—his wonderful ship body not the least of it. And now, to deal with all these emotions…

“I’m sorry,” I said, “for what happened to you on Starsight, M-Bot. I truly am. It broke my heart to leave you like I did.”

“But you’d make the same decision again, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” I said. “As much as it pains me to know I hurt you, if I were in that situation again…yes, I’d go save the people of Detritus.”

“It makes logical sense,” he said. “But I don’t feel it. What do I do to get rid of these feelings? I don’t want to be angry. So it’s stupid that I’m angry. It makes no sense.”

“It makes a ton of sense, actually,” I said. “You don’t have many friends—basically just me and Rig. When I left, you were being abandoned by everyone you’d known and loved. It’s not the sort of thing you get over easily.”

“Wow,” M-Bot said. “You know emotions really well, Spensa. Particularly the stupid ones.”