Cruel Magic (Royals of Villain Academy #1)(36)

The energy inside me seeped away until my chest felt hollow. I stared at the ice sculpture I’d conjured. The phoenix was flinging itself up out of the fire just as I’d pictured it, even more perfect than if I’d tried to form it out of clay.

Banefield offered a round of applause. “Not bad at all for your first conscious attempt. I can see your artistic background coming into play.”

“Is it going to start melting?” I asked, cocking my head at the icy figurine. Exhilaration shivered through me. I’d made something beautiful. Something beautiful out of fear.

“The magic you put into it will hold the chill for at least a little while,” Banefield said. “Don’t worry yourself—I’ll disperse it before I end up with a puddle on my desk.”

The thought of my creation being “dispersed” brought a little ache into my chest—but hey, if I could do that while conjuring ice out of thin air, imagine what I could do if I found myself a nice chunk of clay. Or maybe even some granite… So many possibilities.

A white shape loped past my chair. The bunny had decided to brave the world outside its cage now that the cat was shut away. I watched it, the wheels in my head spinning. If I let the cat out now, I’d really have to scare it to stop it from getting its paws on the rabbit. The amount of energy—

My excitement dampened in an instant with the image of the bunny squealing in terror as the cat pinned it down. What was I thinking? I might not be fast enough. Even if I was, the rabbit would be scared out of its wits.

I’d been enjoying this magic so much that for an instant I’d been willing to risk that poor animal’s life to get more of it.

My gut constricted around a lump of guilt. Banefield was studying me. “Is everything all right, Rory?”

“I just— Can we put the rabbit back in its cage before I face off against the cat again? Just to make sure I can protect it?”

“Of course.” He didn’t get up, though, just leaned over his desk with his hands steepled. “Maybe there’s something else we should talk about first, in light of this experiment, and—I understand you’ve struck up something of a friendship with the Nary student in your dorm.”

“Shelby,” I said automatically. “Yeah. What about it?”

“I simply want you to be aware of how you’re training your mind. With the kind of magic we work, the kind of mages we work around, identifying with those weaker than us is a weakness in itself.”

I frowned at him. “Are you saying I shouldn’t care about people?” Or fuzzy bunnies?

“No, of course not.” Banefield sighed. “Living in secret as we do, our lives are already rather limited. As you’ve seen acted out here, fearmancers often prey on each other to develop their powers. The strong rise to the top, and the weak…” He made a falling motion. “When you care about someone or something that can’t defend itself, you open yourself up to being hurt through that thing. Care about this rabbit, and any mage could draw fear from you by threatening it.”

“So, what? We just let the weak get eaten?” Every piece of me balked at that idea.

“That’s the way of the entire natural world, isn’t it?” Banefield said, calmly enough. “We can work around your sensitivities for now. Just consider that you are the scion—and technically the baron, as soon as you’ve completed your schooling—of a ruling family. It’s your duty to stand firm against any attempts to shake you. What might seem like kindness is an indulgence that fails both your community and yourself, and puts the object of your ‘kindness’ in more danger than if you hadn’t intervened.”

Because I’d make them a target too. Had the other girls been harassing Shelby more since I’d gotten friendly with her? I hadn’t seen enough of how they’d treated her before to compare. Shit.

Some of what he was saying made sense, no matter how much I hated it.

Banefield stood up. “Shall we continue? You’ve got another half an hour with me.”

I got up as well, squaring my shoulders. None of that political awfulness would matter if I saw my quest through and destroyed this place. The joymancers didn’t work like that. I could prove to them I didn’t either.

But for now, I had to work with what was in front of me.

I shooed the bunny back into its cage. “All right. Release the tabby.”





Chapter Fifteen





Rory





Dad gurgled. Blood spilled over our kitchen floor in a flood that seemed to spread and spread, across every tile and past Mom’s already limp body.

No. Please, no.

I lunged to reach him but couldn’t seem to move, a scream bubbling in my throat—

And woke up, sweaty and shaking under my fluffy duvet in my Villain Academy dorm room.

Thin morning light seeped around the edges of the curtain to haze the ceiling. I stared up at it and sagged into the mattress as my pulse slowly settled down to normal speed and the images that were half memory, half nightmare faded from my mind.

Was that the fourth time or the fifth I’d revisited my parents’ murders in my sleep? Enough times that I was losing track, anyway. The repetition hadn’t dulled any of the pain or the panic, but at least I knew those would fade too, at least to the point that I could keep going.