Crash & Burn (Tessa Leoni, #3)(53)

“Nicky,” he spoke up finally. “I want you to go back to Wednesday night. You’re at home. Your head hurts. You’re resting on the couch. Your phone rings.”

“I have to leave,” she says immediately.

Wyatt and Kevin nodded, having heard this part before. Kevin gestured to a fallen tree. They moved over, had Nicky take a seat. As comfortable as one could get in a muddy ravine, Wyatt figured. Anything to keep the suspect talking.

“You step outside. It smells like rain,” Wyatt continued levelly. He tried to remember her phrase. “It smells like dug-up dirt.”

Scent was one of the biggest triggers of memory, and in Nicky’s own words, Wednesday night had smelled like a grave.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“You feel the rain on your face.”

“I hurry to get in my car. I don’t want to get too wet.”

“Where is Thomas?”

“Out back, working.”

“Do you tell him where you’re going?”

“No. He didn’t want me to start asking questions. It was so long ago, he keeps telling me. Isn’t our life good enough? Can’t we just be happy? But of course, it’s November.”

“What happens in November?” Wyatt asked curiously.

“It’s the saddest month of the year.”

Wyatt and Kevin exchanged glances. While Wyatt was doing the talking, Kevin was doing the note taking. And no doubt already formulating search criteria. For example, any six-year-old girls that went missing and/or were murdered in the month of November. Question was, going back how many years?

Wyatt took a shot in the dark: “So you contacted Northledge Investigations with your questions. To help you learn what happened . . . in November, so many years ago.”

Nicky didn’t say yes, but she didn’t dismiss his statement either.

“The investigator called you back, right? Wednesday night, you’re at home, resting on the sofa, and the phone rings. What did you learn, Nicky? What was so important you had to leave right away?”

“She gave me an address. Employment records list a state liquor store, but I’ve never been there before.”

“Who is she? The investigator from Northledge?”

“I have to leave. Go there quickly. Before I lose my courage.”

Interesting, Wyatt thought. Because up to this point, they’d assumed the urgency behind Nicky’s sudden exit Wednesday night had to do with getting away from her husband. But now it would appear there was a different spin on the evening. Nicky had been contacted with information regarding someone who worked at the state liquor store. And she had to find that person before she lost her courage.

“Who are you meeting?” Wyatt tried again.

“I have to go.”

“Who did you pay Northledge to track down? Is it Vero?”

“I have to save her. I never save her. Every time I fail in the end.” Nicky’s voice picked up, growing agitated again. Wyatt took the hint and dialed things back down.

“You put your Audi into drive,” he prompted.

“The night is dark. No moon, no stars, just the thick storm clouds. I should turn around, head back home, but I can’t. God, my head hurts.”

“What do you do, Nicky?”

“I drive. I just keep going. What choice do I have? I see her everywhere; I hear her everywhere. Vero is having tea. Vero is braiding my hair. Vero is standing before me, maggots pouring out of her skull.”

Wyatt paused, sparing a glance for Kevin, who’d gone positively wide-eyed. The detective quickly scrawled another note. While Nicky’s breathing quickened once more.

“But Vero’s not with you right now,” Wyatt offered gently. “You’re alone in your car. You’re out of the rain, driving for the state liquor store.”

“My hands are shaking. I think I could use a drink. But I’ve been doing so well. My headaches, you know. Thomas tells me alcohol is no good. I need to get healthy again. Then maybe we could be happy again. We were happy once. God, I loved him so.”

“So you’re driving to the liquor store. Do you make any turns, any stops, before you get there?”

“No, I must get there. Before I change my mind.”

“Okay. You arrive. The parking lot is huge. Filled with burning overhead lights.”

Nicky immediately shook her head, shuttering her eyes. “I don’t like them. They make my headache worse. I thought I’d just park. I don’t know. Maybe hang out. But there’s no place to put the car where I won’t be seen. And the lights, they’re killing me.”

“What do you do?”

“I park in the back. As far away from the store as I can get. Then I step out into the rain.”

Nicky paused. Her eyes were open but had that glazed look again. Wyatt was about to bring her back, refocus her attention, when she started on her own:

“I shouldn’t go in. I have to go in. I should just let it go. Thomas is right. What good will come of this? Oh my God, I think I’m going to barf. No, I can do this. Because it’s November and even the sky is crying and if I’m ever going to be happy . . . Thomas says I’m strong. He says he believes in me, he’s always believed in me. I was sad from the very beginning, you know. He said he just wanted to be the man who finally made me smile . . .