Count Your Lucky Stars (Written in the Stars, #3)(74)

Olivia crossed her arms, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Aside from that small show of impatience, Olivia seemed content to wait Margot out.

Here went nothing.

“I was jealous, okay?” Margot clutched the pillow tighter. “I was jealous, and it’s stupid. I’m not proud of it. The opposite. I mean . . . hell, Liv. You think I like feeling this way? Because I don’t. I hate it.” She swallowed before her voice could crack. “Luke keeps flirting with you, and I thought I could handle it, but then I saw you give him your number—I mean, I think that’s what you were doing?—and I just . . . I didn’t think.”

She’d acted on impulse.

“So what?” Olivia crossed her arms, teeth scraping her lip, abusing it further. “You’re upset because someone else wants me?”

“No.” Her heart stuttered, her stomach dropping. “That’s not it at all. I’m halfway convinced the whole world wants you, Liv. You have no idea, the—the appeal you have. I don’t want you because Luke wants you. I want you because I . . .” Fuck. Margot took a deep breath in, air shuddering between her lips. “I’ve always wanted you. I have feelings for you, okay? I care about you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. No one gets me the way you get me. I’ve never felt like I’d die if I didn’t touch someone. You make me feel that way.” Margot’s jaw clenched and slid forward in a bid to keep her tears at bay. “This isn’t new. This isn’t because of Luke. It just—it just is. It’s how I feel.”

Olivia crossed her arms and scoffed. “You’re ridiculous. Do you realize that?”

Fuck. She’d known this would happen. Knowing didn’t dull the ache in her chest. Her pulse pounded painfully in her throat, the ache worsening when she swallowed. “I’m sorry, okay? I can’t help the way I feel about you. If you think I’m so ridiculous—”

“Shut up.” Olivia laughed and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “You are the most infuriating person I’ve ever known, Margot.”

Margot hunched over her pillow, breath coming too fast. She sniffed hard, eyes burning and vision blurring. Fuck. “Got to admit, not the superlative I was aiming for. Best at delivering a witty repartee or greatest at giving head, but most infuriating. Whew.”

God, she’d fucked up. Stepped in it. Crossed a line. Gone too far. All she’d wanted was to keep Olivia, but in trying, she’d pushed her away. How fucked up was that? Jealousy was never an attractive trait in a partner, and they weren’t even that. They were friends—and Margot would be lucky if Olivia even wanted to remain that after her atrocious behavior. She steeled herself for rejection.

Olivia dropped her hands, letting them hang limply at her sides. “Luke is a really nice guy.”

Shit. Here it was. Tension knotted in the pit of her stomach, her insides churning. She didn’t need to hear the rest. “You don’t need to—”

“Oh my God, Margot, please, for the love of all that’s holy, be quiet.” Olivia huffed, and her hair, gathered in a high ponytail, skimmed her shoulders as she shook her head.

Margot bit her tongue, all the words she wanted to say clogging her throat.

“Luke is a nice guy,” Olivia repeated, twisting the knife a little deeper. Her shoulders rose, and her spine straightened as if she was fortifying herself to deliver the final blow. Her gaze locked on Margot, and the look in her eyes—steely and determined, a flicker of something Margot couldn’t name flashing through them—snatched the air straight out of Margot’s lungs. “But I don’t want Luke.” Her throat jerked and a small smile tugged at her lips. “I want you.”

Margot’s heart rose into her throat like a helium-filled balloon.

Olivia wanted her.

Her heart stuttered.

Olivia wanted her how?

She clutched her pillow like a lifeline.

“I don’t think I can do casual, Liv,” Margot confessed, laying her cards and heart completely on the table. “I’m, uh, apparently not capable of keeping things casual. Not when it comes to you.” She laughed and scrubbed a hand over her face. “I’m really terrible at it. Almost as bad at it as I am at skiing.”

Olivia laughed, and the sound loosened the knots inside Margot.

“I don’t know how to be anything but all in when it comes to you, Liv,” she confessed.

Olivia took a slow, hesitant-looking step toward the bed, and then another, this one a little surer, faster. Every step caused Margot’s nerves to ratchet. Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and wiped her palms against her thighs. “All in, huh?”

“All in,” Margot confirmed, voice shaking. She tossed the pillow aside and shifted, facing Olivia as best she could with her foot propped up, elevated above her heart. Doctor’s orders. “Any time you want to, I don’t know, say something reassuring, feel free.”

She reached out and grabbed Margot’s hand, lacing their fingers together. That gesture, in and of itself, gave Margot hope. People didn’t often hold hands with someone they were planning on letting down gently. “I kissed you, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Margot teased.

“I don’t . . .” Olivia blushed. “I’ve only ever been with you and—and Brad. I’ve never done casual.” She smiled. “I guess, suffice it to say, it was never casual for me, either.” Olivia squeezed her fingers and laughed. “We could’ve avoided this by talking about it. I’m going to blame your dirty mouth for distracting me.”