Connected (Connections, #1)(28)

I look at him quizzically while squinting.

His close proximity makes me feel even more off as he says, “Brain-freeze, right?”

I nod my head yes and close my eyes.

Placing his fingers on each side of my temples, River firmly presses while massaging circles at the same time. The goosebumps rear their heads and my temples are on fire, forget the freeze.

I once again feel his nose in the crook of my neck, but this time on his way up to my ear he allows his lips to skim the most sensitive flesh of my neck. When he reaches my ear he whispers, “Better?”

Nodding my head slowly, I open my eyes, very aware of how close we are. My breathing starts to increase again. Does he realize what that little move does to me? I really just want to grab him, but I restrain myself, remembering dinner and the interview. Yes . . . dinner and interview.

Pulling back to a safe distance, River once again masters changing gears as his conversation leads us back to normalcy. He questions me about where I grew up, what I was like in high school, where I went to college, and my life in general.

My mind drifts back to Ben time and time again. I’m finding it difficult to not mention him, but his spirit occupies my every memory. I’m talking to River, but Ben is in my head. I start to wonder what the hell I’m doing.

A knock at his door distracts me from my thoughts of Ben, for now.

“That must be the food,” River says as he walks over to answer the door. A waiter wheels in a table full of plates covered with silver domes. After River hands him a tip, I shoot him a questioning look.

“Yeessss,” he says as he removes the domes to reveal an array of nibble-sized bites.

“When did you order food?” I say, squinting my eyes and pouting my lips.

“Texted down to the kitchen,” he says, making a slight groaning noise, and with his eyelids half closing he adds, “That look is hot.” I knew he’d say that.

All I can do is shake my head at him because what I really want to do is lie him down on the couch. What’s his game? He’s driving me to the edge and there is no way he isn’t there too. He was almost panting after his last move.

Pushing aside my need for a man’s human touch—his touch—we talk for almost another hour while we continue to drink and eat.

When we have both finished our second beer, mine with ice, his without, River stands up. “Feel free to make yourself at home while I take a quick shower.”

I’m watching River leave the room, admiring that walk that I can’t get enough of and the way his hair somewhat sticks out in the back, when he turns around and winks at me. Having caught me staring he mumbles something I can’t really hear, but sounds strangely like, you could join me if you want.

Disappearing into what I can only assume is the bedroom, I consider joining him. I really want to, but I’m here for work. Damn, I really need to get my shit together and get that interview done.

I make my way over to the window and I step outside. Horns are blowing, lights are flashing, and people are everywhere. As I stand up here looking down at all the chaos, I feel the disarray is a welcome relief to the life I have been living. I want so badly to just feel alive again. But everything still reminds me of Ben. Even here, now, with this incredibly hot, yet adorably charming man, my mind still wanders back to Ben and our trip to Las Vegas right after I finished graduate school.

Remembering when a group of our friends planned a couples weekend, I smirk even now at the word ‘couples’. It was more like a guy’s weekend and a girl’s weekend combined only for the sake of each couple sharing a hotel room. As soon as we arrived, the group of guys hit the casino and I never saw Ben again until he came stumbling into our room around four in the morning, drunk and not ready for sleep. The next day, we spent the morning together in our room and then he met the guys in the afternoon, this time I didn’t see him again until he stumbled into our room just in time to catch a cab back to the airport. That was the way we were, and honestly, I had a great time with my girlfriends that weekend. We played blackjack, did some shopping, ate fabulous food, and went clubbing at night. I had a blast.

Suddenly arms surround me as River braces his hands on the railing on both sides of me, suspending my memories of Ben. River has his front to my back, and I want to lean into him, just feel him, the entire length of his hard body against mine, but I don’t. I inhale his now familiar scent and close my eyes. Every nerve in my body is electrified with need. Two years of neglect has my body screaming for this man to touch me.

“Should we catch the sunset before we head out?” River says, standing so close, yet way too far away.

“I would love that. The sky is so clear, the sunset is going to be gorgeous,” I say, not turning around, and not moving a muscle because the pull of my body to his is so strong right now, I can barely restrain myself.

“Yeah it is.”

I can tell by the way his warm breath is hitting my ear that he’s not looking at the sun, and that thrills me. Being surrounded by River and watching the sunset feels so right that I try to rid my mind of any thoughts of Ben so that I can focus solely on River. However, focusing on anything right now is hard to do. His close proximity to me has brought me back to the edge, and free falling with him once again occupies my mind.

After we watch the sunset, River moves back, leaving one hand on the rail next to me. “Ready?”

“Yes,” I say, glancing up and noticing how his strong arm leads the way to his gorgeous face.