Connected (Connections, #1)(2)
OUT OF MY HEAD
You’re always in my head
Maybe it’s the way you smile at me
Maybe it’s the way you laugh with me
Maybe it’s that we’ve known each other so long
Thoughts of you are always in my head.
October 2006…
Walking through the greek-lettered doors of Kappa Sigma, I felt like I’d just stepped onto a movie set. It was Halloween, everyone was wearing costumes, holding red Solo cups, and dancing . . . well, not everyone. I looked twice to be certain, but sure as shit, there was a large, dark-blue ice luge in the center of the living room. The guy at the bottom of the channel was my boyfriend, Ben, and the person in line behind him was my best friend, Aerie.
I didn’t go to a lot of fraternity parties, and looking at the two of them under the almost kid-sized slide, I now knew why.
Frowning at the sight of the two drunken idiots who had been on the receiving end of the ice luge a few too many times, I headed toward the kitchen to grab a beer. As I crossed back into the living room, I could see Ben sucking on a lime and squinting his eyes with his nose scrunched as he vigorously moved his head from side to side. He was making a vain attempt to relieve the potent impact of the countless shots he had just let flow freely down his throat. While shaking my head in amusement at him, I passed by a couple playing beer pong and giggled. If the state of the girl’s condition was any indication of her skill level, the guy was obviously a much better player.
Noticing me, Ben shot me a wicked smirk and crooked his index finger, gesturing me toward him. He strode a few steps closer; his gaze holding mine as the crowd cleared the way.
Standing face to face, I could see that his forget-me-not blue eyes were slightly hooded, allowing me only a glimpse of his dilated pupils. His sly grin was still present, which alerted me to his somewhat coherent state of mind.
Raising an eyebrow, I pointed to the dark-blue ice sculpture. “Hey, how many times did you hit that?”
Feigning confusion, he raised his hands palms up. “Not sure,” he said as he cocked his head to one side while shrugging his shoulders.
Ben took the cup out of my hand and set it on the table beside us. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. “Hey, Dahl. What took so long?” he asked as he rested his strong hands on my ass.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rested my forehead on his chin and let out a slow sigh. “Photo shoot took longer than expected. Drake had a meltdown when the models’ outfits weren’t the shade of purple he’d asked for.”
Ben groaned and dipped his head to kiss me. “Drake’s a f*ckin’ pansy-ass. He better hope you find a new internship for next semester because he’s really starting to piss me off.”
Flinching a little at his words, I leaned back to place my hands on his hard chest before looking into his slightly glazed eyes. “Ben, promise me you’ll stay away from him.”
“Will do. Promise, Dahl,” he chuckled, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath.
I sighed and ran my hands up to his hair, combing my fingers through it.
Looking at me with concern, he whispered, “You okay?”
“Of course. The wrong color purple isn’t really the end of the world.”
He studied me and hesitated before responding. “Dahl, you know that’s not what I mean.”
I stiffened. I knew what he meant, but I didn’t want to talk about the anniversary of my parents’ death.
“Ben, I’m cool. Let’s have a good time,” I muttered. I broke our embrace, grabbed my beer, and looked around the room for Aerie.
Ben nodded in acknowledgment, his sly grin returning while he watched me chug the entire contents of the Solo cup before chewing on the ice cubes that were left behind. Beckoning me to the center of the room, he swooshed his arm and pointed to the luge. “This way, gorgeous.”
Having refilled our drinks, we stood at the liquor-filled ice dispenser. The party was in full swing, and I watched Ben hit the luge yet again. I excused myself to use the restroom; I glanced around at the mass of people and pushed through the chaos. There were wall-to-wall people in every room. I stumbled into a tall guy with red hair, and I knew he was beyond drunk when he tried to kiss me. I shoved him and giggled when he tripped over his own feet and fell on his ass. I continued making my way to the stairs. They were covered with a throng of people that were drinking, making out, or doing way more than I ever needed to see.
The room smelled like alcohol mixed with sweat, and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t get out of there soon enough. I had to carefully weave around the crowd on the stairs and was thankful when I finally made it to the bathroom.
After I left the bathroom, I went to Ben’s room for a much needed mental break. This particular day was the hardest one of the year for me, but participating in the party festivities always seemed to help me through it. As I headed toward his bed, I noticed the tickets he gave me this morning. I knew he meant well buying us tickets to see one of my favorite bands, Maroon 5, perform at The Greek. I felt horrible about my knee-jerk reaction. When he gave them to me it was because he thought he would brighten an otherwise dark day for me, but I couldn’t go back there. I experienced such joy there with my dad, and I couldn’t bear it. It would only remind me how much I miss him.
Sighing, I threw myself on the bed. Yes, he meant well and he really wanted to be the one to take me there, but he knew I would never go back. I’ve told him this. When he bought those tickets, he probably thought he could bring back the happiness I once shared there with my father. Sadly, I haven’t been back to The Greek since I was fourteen years old and went to the U2 concert. It was the last concert I went to with my family before my mother, my aunt, and my father died in a small plane crash coming home from Mexico. So, going back to The Greek can never bring me happiness, only sadness at the loss of my family and my longing to have them back. I’m not sure how long I stayed in his room thinking about my parents until I finally decided to rejoin the party.